Junarakasa's Story

2012 Birthday wish list

2012-01-18T15:04:00.000-08:00

Recently I posted on Facebook that this year I tried to create my annual wish list but realized that this year it was harder for me to come up with one. I am at a point in my life where I am blessed with so much that I actually already have all that I need. And the things that I just "want", I know I probably don’t really need. Of course, even with those realizations, I still wouldn’t mind getting presents … so here is this year’s list. (It’s just really fun to do them even if I don’t really get everything on them!).

Crate and Barrel – Thermal Mirror Carafe (I’d like two please).
I’m obsessed with silver carafes – I think they are so elegant and they make even plain old drinking water seem more special when served from one of these.
http://www.crateandbarrel.com/dining-and-entertaining/pitchers-and-decanters/thermal-mirror-carafe/s666645

SodaStream Genesis Soda Maker – In Black, please.
Saw the commercial and I thought to myself “My own soda maker, cool!”. It promises to be quick and easy to use. Plus good for the environment (no more soda bottles and cans to dispose of) and better for us too (no more high fructose corn syrup or aspartame). Need I say more?
http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/product.asp?SKU=128034

JJ Cole System 180 diaper bag – Black Damask
Yes, it’s my birthday and should be my present but a good diaper bag for my daughter would make MY life so much easier!
http://jjcolecollections.com/system-180-bag

Twilight Saga (boxed set).
I must confess I am a Twilight fan. It is a guilty pleasure. Read the books while in Manila (my sister’s friend lent us her paperbacks) now I want my own. Why? I don’t really know, just thought it would be nice to have them as part of my book collection.
http://www.amazon.com/Twilight-Saga-Boxed-Collectable-prints/dp/B001LYBYQS

Komachi Knife Set with Block
First of all, a budding chef (like myself) always needs good knives. Just look at how pretty these are (bright colors, cool block). But more than pretty, these knives are serious tools for any kitchen!
http://www.amazon.com/Pure-Komachi-9-Piece-Knife-Block/dp/B0029XAAQ0%3FSubscriptionId%3DAKIAJFDWI7DARHXWAJGA%26tag%3Dgiftscom07-20%26linkCode%3Dxm2%26camp%3D2025%26creative%3D165953%26creativeASIN%3DB0029XAAQ0

Beverage dispenser
Picture this – a balmy Spring evening, family and friends around the patio, steaks and sweet corn on the grill, and free-flowing freshly-made lemonade right from our very own tree served in one of these dispensers. Life would be good.
http://www.horchow.com/store/catalog/templates/HP4.jhtml?itemId=cat2840732&parentId=cat000032&masterId=cat14540735&cmCat=&view=&page=1&filter1Type=&filter1Value=&filter2Type=&filter2Value=&filterOverride=&sort=&altFilter=

Also, one could never go wrong with giftcards. Some people think they are impersonal and mean that the giver didn’t want to exert any thought or effort in picking something out. I happen to think they are an easy solution that makes everyone happy. The giver is safe in gift-giving etiquette by getting something that will be used and appreciated. The receiver is happy that he/she gets a present (the thought is there) and that he/she can really get what he/she likes. I think it does matter though to get giftcards to a store that the receiver actually likes to shop in! In my case, giftcards to Barnes & Noble, Homegoods, Kohls and Target would be much appreciated!

On Being a Parent

2012-01-14T10:51:00.000-08:00

I never had any misconceptions that being a parent was easy. I knew the moment that I was pregnant that I would be in for a tough ride. Of course, one can never really prepare for how tough things can get until one is already in the midst of things! Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love being a mom and Jamie is a wonderful baby (she has her moments but for the most part she is pretty no-fuss). I guess it's just an adjustment for me - being a completely hands-on mom and all.

Growing up, I always knew I would be a mom (I've always wanted kids of my own!). But I guess I grew up thinking I would always be surrounded by people who would help me take care of my kids. There would be my own mom, my aunts, sisters, friends - and most especially maids and yayas! I saw my family and friends have kids and while they were all good mothers - they still went about life without too much change.

Who knew I would end up living in the States and having my child here? And while I do have help (my sister, Joy, lives with us and my hubby, Jojo is also very involved) - and of course we have daycare now. But for the most part, I am the main person who looks after my baby girl. It's a weird feeling that is hard for me to describe. On the one hand, I am thrilled to have so much time with my daughter - feeding her, changing her, bathing her, playing with her, reading to her, sleeping with her, etc. On the other hand, I also worry about her and about how well I am raising her.

My sister, Joy, once said she admires me for being so hands-on and for giving up so many things so I can take care of Jamie. For starters, I don't get to go out as much (hard to find capable babysitters!). I have to do housework in between Jamie's naps. I no longer have time for myself (reading, shopping, watching movies are now unheard of!). I have not had a full night's sleep since this little girl was born! I have learned to eat dinner in 5 minutes while standing up in the kitchen (sometimes while carrying Jamie). I have learned how to change diapers in public restrooms, from the backseat of our car, in restaurants, etc. I have learned to pacify Jamie when she gets antsy in the middle of crowded places and church. I have stopped shopping for myself and now just get things for her.

I guess you could say I did sacrifice a lot for my daughter. But I don't have any regrets and I would not mind doing it all over again for my daughter. And while I still wouldn't mind getting a yaya to help me out - I do think that being a hands-on mom is pretty priceless!

Things to Do in 2012

2012-01-03T11:25:00.000-08:00

It’s a New Year. And normally, time for new year resolutions. I’ve never been big on making resolutions – too much pressure to keep them and then feeling disappointed when I don’t. So instead of New Year Resolutions, I just call mine “things to do in 2012”.

Number one: be healthier. I was at the peak of healthy living when I was pregnant. I actually lost weight before pregnancy, during pregnancy and after pregnancy. Believe it or not, I was eating so much better and actually going to the gym regularly. But after maternity leave was over, I went back to work and to my old habits (poor food choices and not exercising). This year I need to be healthier – not just for myself but for my baby too.

Number two: find time to read. Of course, reading has taken a backseat to everything going on in my life. But the sad part is that even during my down time, I have not picked up a good book in such a long time. All this technology (Internet, Social Networks, television, video games, etc.) has corrupted my mind! I need to go back to the basics – and to what I love to do – read!

Number three: bring out the Ina Garten in me. We’ve recently had a kitchen renovation done and I now love my new kitchen. I must go back to making home-cooked meals. Lately we’ve been eating out a lot, taking out food, or cooking at home (but still relying heavily of prepared food from the grocery). My sister, Joy, has also been more active in the cooking department. I used to cook more before and would even document in pictures and posts my culinary adventures. I need to get back to cooking more (especially now that Jamie is starting to eat fruits and veggies).

Number four: enough with unnecessary spending. One of the things I love to do is putter around discount stores (Ross, Marshalls, TJ Maxx, Homegoods, Tuesday Morning are my faves!). Even if I don’t need anything new, I always end up buying something whenever I go. It’s almost like an addiction. I figure that in order to eliminate this habit, I need to stop going to the source! Therefore, I vow to only go shopping when I actually need something!

Number five: make an effort to make and meet friends. Since moving to the States, I’ve been very passive about making and maintaining friendships. It is very easy to fall into the standard “I’m so busy” lifestyle. And while being busy is a fact of life here, I still need to make a conscious effort to foster relationships.

It goes without saying that in 2012, I’d like to be a better wife and mom. I’d like to have a healthier spiritual life. I’d like to do well in my career. And also, spend time with my family. I’d like to maintain my blog. And find time to learn something new. Hopefully the next 365 (actually I’m now down 4 days since today is January 4th), will allow me to do so!

My Christmas List

2011-12-28T11:16:00.000-08:00

This year's Christmas List was fairly easy to shop for. I was proud of myself for actually finishing my shopping early (and for getting all my gifts, wrapped, tagged and delivered on time. For all this, I would like to personally thank the World Wide Web!!! The Internet has made shopping, shipping and sharing presents hassle-free, convenient and actually efficient!

This year I had several categories for gifts:

First, was for my baby girl: Jamie got a V-Tech Toy/Walker from mom and dad. And books and clothes from Santa.

Second, was for my hubby: Jojo got Nike Shocks shoes from me.

Third, was for my sisters and brothers-in-law: gifts that I personally thought of knowing what they needed or would enjoy. Gift cards for Joy and Marc to their favorite stores and an indoor grill and a set of towels for Atsi and Mark.

Fourth, was for my in-laws: this year I made kits for each couple. I wrapped up a Pasta Boat (the instant pasta cooker which allows you to make perfect al dente pasta right from your microwave!), a box of whole wheat penne pasta, and a jar of organic pasta sauce. Viola ... a ready-to-use pasta kit!

Fifth, for my nieces and nephews: I got them all matching track / jogging suits.

Sixth, for our neighbors, doctors, family friends, dentists, etc: I made cookie baskets (wrapped up a variety of cookies in different containers, clustered them in baskets and wrapped them in cellophane and ribbons).

Seventh, for far-away friends and family: we sent edible fruit arrangements.

And of course, we sent lots of Xmas cards and online greetings.

Next year, we'll have to start shopping for our family and friends in Manila cause we're hoping to celebrate the holidays back home =) Now that might be a challenge!

Xmas 2011

2011-12-28T09:55:00.000-08:00

This year our Christmas celebration can only be described as subdued. We had grand plans ... after all, it was Jamie's first every Yuletide holiday. But grand plans always have a way of changing ... sometimes when you least expect it. This year was the perfect example. We intended to celebrate Xmas eve with Jojo's family. It would be the traditional Ordinario gathering, where everyone congregates for a night of games, presents and eating. This year we were celebrating at my brother-in-law, Jay's new place.

The next day (Xmas day), would be a celebration with my side of the family (or at least with my two sisters and their husbands). This time it would be at our place and we were all looking forward to a home-cooked potluck that would make my mom truly proud. We also planned cozying up in the living room, watching Xmas movies and sipping warm cocoa while Jamie opened up her Xmas presents. All in all, Xmas weekend was looking good!

Instead, on Saturday (the 24th), my sister, Jenny, and I chatted via sorenson and she tells me her husband, Mark, is down with a horrible case of the flu. It was so bad that they had to rush to the emergency room at 5:00 AM that morning because his sinuses were so clogged. He was slightly better but still had a bad cold. They would have to cancel their dinner with friends on Xmas eve and could not make it to our place on Xmas day.

After that, Jojo received a text from his sisters (Tracy and Marik) were down with the flu as well. Turns out, Jojo's brother-in-law, Jesse, also had the sniffles. We had to bail out of going to Xmas dinner because we could not risk Jamie getting sick. She was due for her 2nd round of flu vaccinations on Wed (the 28th). She needed to get her shot on the 28th since we had already postponed twice (due to her getting sick as well).

There goes our Xmas plans. I was horribly disappointed. It was the 24th already and we had nothing planned for that evening or for the next day. I actually started feeling depressed thinking that my daughter's first Xmas was ruined! Luckily my sister, Joy and her hubby, Marc were with us. They got me psyched again when they said we could have a mini-celebration together. It would be fun they convinced me. So I pulled myself together and we made last minute plans.

Here is what we did for our last-minute, impromptu Xmas weekend.

On the 24th, we bundled Jamie up and walked around our neighborhood to give Xmas presents to our neighbors. It was really nice catching up with them and coming into their homes for a quick chat. Of course, it was super thoughtful how they all had a little something for our little girl. Then we dressed up and had dinner out. Not a lot of places were open on Xmas eve - and we ended up in Black Angus (surprisingly their rib-eye dinners were really good!). Then we headed home and just watched movies till midnight.

On the 25th, we woke up early and had a yummy sausage and waffle breakfast. Then clad in our robes and pajamas, we opened our Xmas presents. It was heaven for Jamie who had a mountain of presents just for her. Not surprisingly she enjoyed the gift wrappers and boxes more than the actual presents. It was priceless seeing her face as we did the oohing and aahing for her. We then went to Xmas mass and had a super yummy lunch at our new favorite place (The Boiling Point). Then we went home and just chilled - watched movies, played games and called friends and family. Soon we started cooking Xmas day dinner. It was a feast (once again) - garlic rice, salpicao, garlic shrimps, asparagus, grilled chicken pasta, and a fresh veggie and drip tray.

All in all, it wasn't quite the Xmas I had imagined. But in the end, it turned out to be pretty special after all.

Q&A

2011-12-15T16:08:00.000-08:00

One of the bloggers I follow posted this on her blog ... it's a random list of questions she answered ... and I thought it would be fun to do so too.

1. What do you order at Starbucks?
I hardly ever go to Starbucks but if I do I order basic iced or hot coffee (depending on the weather!). I never ever order any frou-frou drink that costs more than it should and adds more calories than it should!

2. What's one thing in your closet that you cannot live without?
It's hard to pick just one. I love my classics ... my South Sea pearl studs and strands, my red wool coat, my dressy black slacks, and shift dresses that I can wear anywhere. Oh and my almost-grungy but super-comfy pajamas (that my mom has been begging me to throw out).

3. What's one thing that most people probably wouldn't know about you?
I honestly can't think of anything .... it's either that I am horribly transparent and obvious or that I can't think of anything worth mentioning.

4. Name one thing that you want to do before you die.
Travel to Europe with Jojo.

5. What's one food that you cannot live without?
Rice - I could eat it breakfast, lunch and dinner (what can I say, I'm an Asian at heart!?).

6. What quote/phrase do you live your life by?
Laughter is the best medicine.

7. What do you like and dislike about yourself?
Like: I'm pretty low maintenance, it doesn't take much to make me happy. I am secure in myself and am comfortable in my own skin. I am basically a good person and live by what my parents taught me.
Dislike: I wish I were more organized and had more of a system. I wish I were more patient. And I should also probably work on becoming healthier (now that I am getting older).

8. Who is the literary/movie character you are most like?
Probably Lizzie Bennet - cause I was the most "different" of my mom's daughters and didn't really conform, the way I was suppose to conform. And also I was opinionated and independent. I also think I'm a bit like Josephine March - a bit "rough around the edges" and by no means a girlie-girl, a writer, a dreamer and someone who wants to do something good with her life.

9. What kind of style would you define yourself as having?
I'd like to say "classic" but often times I go more for comfort and practicality. Like I said, I'm not much of a girlie-girl! =)

10. Favorite number.
Eight

11. Favorite scent.
Perfume: Elizabeth Arden's Green Tea
Everything else: I love the smell of books/paper, freshly sharpened pencils, the earth right after it rains, and newly roasted coffee.

12: Two pet peeves:
Filipinos who live abroad and "forget" to speak Tagalog (even though their accents and wrong grammar say otherwise!).
People who talk on their cellphones when they aren't supposed to.

13: Guilty pleasures:
Eating junkfood, watching Lifetime channel movies and reading in bed ... when I should probably be doing housework!

14. If I won a million dollars in the lottery, I would:
Pay off our mortgage, treat my entire family to a month-long vacation, start a college fund for my daughter, maximize our retirement fund, and give the rest to charity.

15. Wish I could ...
Go back home to Manila for the holidays.

Eight is Great!

2011-12-14T11:06:00.000-08:00

Dear Jamie,

It's 12 days since your 8th month birthday. I hope you don't take it against your well-meaning mother that these posts are coming in later and later every month. The days just seem to get shorter and in direct proportion my to-do list just keeps getting longer. But, trust me when I say, my time with you is never ever compromised. I still make it a point (no matter how hectic or stressful the day is) to find time to be with you. Of course, it goes without saying that I feed you, change you, dress you, pick you up when you are fussy and soothe you when you cry. But I also find time to play with you, read to you, laugh with you, and have quiet times when I rock you to sleep or hold you in my arms before you drift off to lala land.

You have grown so tremendously over the last few weeks / months. When your daddy and I compare your newborn pictures to how you look today, we marvel at the miracle of your development. What a beautiful experience it is for us to watch you grow. In the last month, you have not only learned to stand on your own, you have started becoming much more mobile. You can crawl really fast but more than that, you can inch your way around your crib (while standing and holding on to the rails). It's pretty funny (and scary) how you can pull yourself up from a sitting position to a standing position - but then you look down and get this confused glint in your eyes. It's as if you are wondering "Well, now that I'm up, how do I get back down again?". And then without warning you just let go of the rails and plop back down. Most times you fall unscathed but there are times when you fall on the railing or hit the corner of the crib. My heart literally stops and I rush off to catch you (if I can ) or soothe you (if I get there too late).

What a fearless little girl you are! I hope you never lose that sense of wonder wherein you curiously explore the world and jump in to try new experiences. I only pray that you do so with your eyes open (Look before you leap!) and considering the consequences. I will always do my best to be there to catch you when you fall - but there will be times when I won't be there. As your mom, I want to teach you that after every fall, you can get up, brush yourself off, and keep going!

During your 8th month, you started eating your pureed foods. I was worried for a while because you seemed to dislike solids and just wanted to drink milk all the time. I tried making homemade food but it turns out you like the store-bought variety better. I've been buying you Earth's Best organic foods and you love it! Your favorites this month include: carrots, winter squash, sweet potato, peas, apples, bananas and pears. You have turned into quite the eater (which makes me glad and confirms you are truly my child - not that there was every any doubt!).

The latter part of your 8th month, mommy had the flu, which was caught by daddy, and then finally, you. It makes me sad to see you sick (with your nose all congested). But I am glad that through it all you are very good natured, don't lose your appetite, and still sleep through the night.

Jamie, my beautiful and happy baby, happy 8th month birthday. I am so blessed to be your mom and I cherish every moment we share together.

Love,
mommy

Lucky Seven

2011-11-10T10:21:00.000-08:00

Dear Jamie-Badooshie,

This letter is very, very overdue. Your 7th month birthday was 11 days ago. I am SO sorry that this is coming so late. All I can say is, I hope the extra playtime we've shared make up for the lateness of this post =)

Your 7th month was certainly eventful. There were lots of good and not-so-good highlights. When I say "not-so-good", I don't mean anything terrible. For example, you got your second bout with the nasty cold this month, you also had low-fade fever for about a day or two after your vaccinations, and this month, your beloved grandmothers (both mommy lola and guama) went back to the Philippines.

But the good things certainly outweighed the not so good ones. This month you started eating solids! I was so excited to give you your first taste of rice cereal. The first feeding, guama held you up while I fed you tiny spoonfuls. You absolutely loved it. You ate every bite and looked like you were really relishing the taste. I was so happy that I proudly posted the accomplishment of facebook (right after your first meal). I guess that was a very premature thing to do because after that, you refused to eat rice cereal afterwards. We tried every trick in the book but you proved to be wise beyond your years because you knew exactly what we were up too. I whipped out the Baby Bullet and made you homemade sweet potatoes (hoping that the "sweetness" would entice you to eat). So far, it's been more misses than hits - but I have every faith that we'll get there!

This month, you also experienced your very first Halloween. I, being the overly excited stage mother than I am, bought you a cute piglet costume around 2-3 months ago. I thought it would be fun for your dad, you and I to dress as "The 3 Little Pigs". But two days before your Tito Lee's Halloween party, we could not find adult pig costumes and your costume was still too big for you to wear. So one day before the party, we head off to Party City to hunt for costumes. At first, I wanted you and me to dress up as angels and daddy would dress as the devil. But the baby angel costume was not in stock. Our next option was for daddy and me to dress as bacon and eggs while you would be a baby hotdog in a bun. We scrapped the idea too after we saw how hard it would be to get you in the bun! My last ingenious idea was for us to dress as a family of ladybugs. Now, your daddy put his foot down. He agreed to be a pig, he was okay with being the devil and he was fine with being bacon. But he just was not okay with being a ladybug (even if I told him we would refer to him as a man-bug). So in the end, you and I were ladybugs and daddy came as The Phantom of the Opera. You were a darling ladybug, Jamie! Even if you desperately tried to remove your ladybug antennas all night!

This month, daddy also started a new job. His job entails him working from 2:30 to 11:00 PM. So he takes you to daycare in the morning, and I pick you up at night. Usually I come get you around 6 PM and you and I are together till Auntie Joy comes homes around 8 and when daddy gets home past 11. I'll be honest, Jamie, it has been a little hard trying to cook dinner and do chores around the house - when the whole time you refuse to be put down in the crib and want to be carried all the time. Most nights, I just toast bread and eat it standing up while carrying you in my arms. Some nights, I have to put you down in the crib and make a mad dash to go pee or brush my teeth. Then I have to rush back when you start to cry. I also never get to blog or check my Facebook because I don't like leaving you in bed alone (when you do fall asleep) because you have started to roll much faster!). But even if it has been challenging, I love our time together! I enjoy having you all to myself. My favorite is when we are both done with dinner, changing and doing what needs to be done - and we cuddle on the big bed together. Usually we read a story, watch a little tv, then we lie next to each other and I make up silly words and silly songs to make you laugh. You make a really good audience - as you laugh, giggle and pat my face. After that we say our prayers and you fall asleep in my arms. Daddy often comes home to us sleeping together.

This month has gone by so quickly and this next one (already underway) will undoubtably whiz by just as fast. But I don't want to get sad about that. I want to enjoy every moment with you and eagerly await the next one. I also take great pride in watching you grow and spread your wings. I love you so much, Jamie. I hope you never forget that my little lady/babybug!

Love,
Mommy

Half a Year!

2011-09-30T17:08:00.001-07:00

Happy half-year birthday to our dearest Jamie!
You are 6-months old today. I am so amazed at how much has happened lately. In the last 4 weeks since my last post, your personality has really started to show. You have become so much more “mild-mannered” and patient. In the past, you would cry at every time we put you down (and I mean EVERY SINGLE TIME!). These days, you have started to become more independent. You have learned how to amuse yourself and play quietly in your crib or bassinette. Of course, we don’t ever leave you for very long – but it is nice to see you doing your own thing once in a while. It might be because you have now been attending daycare fulltime for a month – and have learned how to be more patient and how to share other peoples’ time. But also, I think it’s because you are growing up and learning how to just sit and be quiet and how to just play by yourself.
This month, guammy and Uncle Jim have come to stay with us too. And you have responded beautifully to having more people in the house. During the weekends when we have a full house (with Uncle Marc, Auntie Jenny and Uncle Mark staying with us), you absolutely thrive on all the attention you get. I love seeing you interact with others. It seems to me that you are not shy at all and will laugh and play with just about anyone. I love that about you and hope that you always maintain such a happy, friendly and carefree spirit.
This month, you have also started attending daycare fulltime. I was really worried about how you would adapt to going every day, for the entire day. But just with all things, you amaze and make me proud. You adapted so seamlessly to daycare – and from what I hear from your caretakers, you are a very easy baby to take care of. You smile a lot, sleep a lot, play a lot and are content when carried around. There are days when you do cry and are extra fussy – but luckily those seem to be few and far between. M I am so glad that you seem to enjoy your time at daycare. These days you are kept separate from the other toddlers and stay mostly by yourself in the infant room with your caretaker all to yourself. This October though, I am told there will be another baby coming to join you. I am hoping this will be good for you and allow you to socialize and interact more.
This month, we’ve started taking you out more and you behave beautifully for the most part. I am so glad that you are adapting well to different social situations – whether it is attending mass, going to the mall, taking quiet walks in the neighborhood, attending parties, or just dinners out at restaurants. On a side note, everywhere we go we always get complimented on what a beautiful and adorable baby we have. I hope you know that makes mommy and daddy very proud – but that is definitely not the only reason why we love you. I want you to grow up knowing that while being cute and pretty is important – it is not what defines who you are and whether you will be happy. But for now, it’s ok to enjoy all the attention you are getting because you truly are a beautiful baby girl.
This month, we have started singing songs to you, reading more books, working with flashcards, and using the alphabet board more. I won’t say you are a genius baby who has adapted to all these learning methods excellently. But I will say, you definitely are smart and seem to pick up new ideas well. Your Auntie Marik was amazed when she saw you hold a book the right way at 5 months old. I was so proud of that too. You possess a very curious mind – always looking around and watching intently. Many times, when you are with us you seem to be listening very carefully to the conversations going on around you. It’s kind of amazing how you seem to understand what is being said. I also love how you now coo and make sounds – almost like you are speaking. I just know that when you finally get to talk you will have lots of very interesting things to say.
Jamie, I want you to know that daddy and I love you very much. Every single day, I tell you that and try to find ways to show you too. I want you to grow up confidently knowing that although there are many new changes happening, one thing will always remain constant – and that is mommy and daddy are here for you, no matter what. So go ahead, explore the world, learn new things, try new experiences – I want you to do, see, hear, feel and try as many things as you can and as you want. But remember that when you get tired, scared, angry or frustrated – we’ve got your back.
Happy 6 months, Badoosh! Love, love, love you.

2011-08-30T09:23:00.000-07:00

Dear Jamie (this month you have earned the following nicknames: JiDoo - the baby ninja (because of your awesome kicks!), Baby Trucker (because you can belch and fart like the best of them!), and Bee-joo (because you are just bee-joo-ti-ful to me!),

HAPPY 5TH MONTH!!!

To our beautiful little angel, I can not believe that you are now 5 months old. It is just so unbelievably incredible to me that day-by-day we watch you grow and blossom. It is literally a miracle unfolding before our very eyes.

This last month, you have discovered the joy of turning from your back to your tummy - and back again. This has resulted in endless rolling around your crib and on mommy and daddy's big bed! This has also resulted in mommy and daddy becoming paranoid that you will hit your head on your crib rails or fall off our bed! We have since then become extra vigilant! (yes, more so than before!).

This month, you have discovered the joy of bathing in your whale tub. You squeal in delight when we let you play in the water. You kick and splash a LOT - resulting in getting our bed wet and most times giving your parents a bath too!

This month, you have discovered the joy of making pasyal. How you enjoy taking walks around the neighborhood in the afternoons. Some days you are even content to just walk around our tiny backyard.

This month, you have discovered the joy of books! I love how well you have responded to our storytime every night. How you seem to listen when we go over your alphabet board. And how you occasionally respond to your learning flashcards (most times you end up eating the cards - but maybe that's a good thing - at least you care enough to give them your attention!).

This month, you have discovered daycare. I can't really tell if you love it there - but so far, you seem to enjoy the 4 hours a day you spend there. It was hard for us to leave you there at first. But these days, I've come to accept that it is for the best - for you and for us too.

Sadly, this month, you also caught your first cold. Well, it's not really a "cold" just a runny nose and a slight cough. You see,ed to handle it well though. No extra fussiness or crankiness. You were a very amiable baby even when you weren't feeling all that well. I'm so glad it wasn't anything worse like a fever or ear infection. But we did take you to Dr. Chung yesterday just to make sure. She said you were a-okay! =)

Jamie, the days just keep going and there's no way for mommy to slow things down and keep you my baby forever. But I know that it doesn't matter how big you become or how independent you turn out to be ... in my heart, you will always be my beautiful baby!

Love you so, so much!!!
Mommy

The Fourth Month

2011-08-01T13:13:00.000-07:00

Dearest Jamie, (nicknames this month include: Chimichuri, Jamie-churi, Gabriellei, Ellie, Ling Dumpling and Bibi-girl).

It's been a month since my last blog entry ... I won't go into the usual litany of excuses about how busy I've been and have had no time to blog. In truth, the days have gone by fast and I've been preoccupied, but sadly the reason is more than that. In truth, the idea of blogging has not even entered my mind. I am actually "forcing" myself to post this entry just so I can commemorate another milestone event ... your fourth month celebration!

FOUR MONTHS! WOOT-WOOT! HOORAY! You are growing up so fast. This past month has been filled with so many significant moments. This is the month you have started laughing out loud, started sitting up (with support, of course) and started rolling onto your tummy and then back again in a lying position. It is amazing to see you set out and try something new. And we marvel at how well you adapt to doing it over and over again. You are truly a miracle!

This month, we've increased your milk consumption twice - hoping you would go on longer stretches between meals during the day. This has not happened though. You still eat every three or so hours - I guess you are drinking extra milk because you are growing so fast! We are glad though that you are able to sleep on average about 4-5 hour stretches at night - some nights as long as 8 straight hours. (That does not mean your daddy and I sleep 8 hours straight though - we are constantly checking on you and making sure you don't accidentally roll on your tummy and sleep with your face pressed on the bed).

You had a couple of playdates here at home and attended several birthday parties this month. We notice though that you do well with small groups of people. However, you do get a bit overwhelmed with larger and noisier groups. Many of your titas, titos and cousins are amazed at how quickly and how loudly you can cry! We've had to leave a few parties early because you seem to get overly anxious at some of them. In time, I am sure you will get used to having lots of people around you too. There will be lots of opportunities for that, I promise!

You've also taken an interest in playing by yourself, which is great. You enjoy playing with Mr. Seahorse, Raffy Giraffy, Bunny, Miss Penny Pig, and your froggy blanket. But for some reason you are annoyed with Ellie (Elephant) and your Singing Snail. You spend very little time on your motorized playmat and even less time on your electric swing. For some reason you seem to enjoy your "low-tech" rocker (the one we manually have to rock) rather than your other more "high-tech" toys! This aversion to technology is obviously something you inherited from me =)

The one thing I also discovered about you (which I absolutely find endearing) is you seem to "look" for me. You could be in the middle of one of your banshee meltdowns. But as soon as I have you in my arms, you settle down and seem to be calmer. Of course this does not happen all the time but often enough for me to thank the heavens for this little miracle. Also, you still sleep in your bassinet (beside mommy's side of the bed) and are able to fall asleep if I extend my hand and hold yours. Many nights we fall asleep holding hands (or until I get a crick in my arm and I have to retract my hand from your grip!). Sometimes, though, you still get restless in your bed so daddy carries you to sleep in ours. You immediately roll over, nestle in my arms and often fall asleep almost right away. I just love that - even if it means less sleep for me because I am on alert in case I accidentally roll over you!

But daddy does not feel too left out. You guys have special bonding times too. I can never make you squeal with laughter the way your daddy does when he tickles you. I can never make you smile as quickly when he makes his funny faces. And I can never hold your attention long enough the way he does when he invents new games for you to play together. You also take long afternoon walks with daddy around our neighborhood. I don't know who enjoys these strolls more - you (as you open your eyes wide with wonder) or your dad (as he proudly shows you off to the neighbors). The funny thing is you don't like being in your stroller but instead prefer to be carried around in your daddy's arms! This month, we've started using our baby carrier (daddy says you are getting too heavy to carry for very long). Luckily you seem to be enjoying being "snug as a bug" next to daddy's chest!

Mommy lola still takes care of you and you also enjoy being with her. We notice how you enjoy your "pasyal-pasyal" time with her as you sit on the front porch and watch the cars go by. You enjoy listening to her sing you to sleep in the afternoon and you giggle a lot when she plays with you. I am sad that she will be going to Manila soon and that we'll have to place you in daycare. But I am convinced that it will be good for you too. It will be a chance for you to interact with other people and socialize with other kids. Your daddy and I took extra care in choosing a good daycare for you and we are hopeful that you will like it there too.

Jamie, you are growing up so fast. In my heart, I wish the days would slow down so I can keep you as my baby forever. But in my mind, I wish the days would fly by faster, so I can continually see you grow into a beautiful person. You continue to amaze and make me proud.

I love you my beautiful baby angel - now and always!

Always,
Mommy

Third Month

2011-07-01T20:56:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Jamie's third month. I don't know where the time went. before this post, my last blog entry was Jamie's second month recap. How could a whole month have already passed!? It's truly amazing how each day seems to drag on but how a whole month just whizzes by.

This third month has been an interesting one. For starters, we have gotten to see a side of Jamie that is totally new to us. We've been used to a passive baby that only does three things: eat, sleep and poop. Now, we are getting to know a baby that likes to talk to us, that listens intently (as if she gets what we are saying) when we talk to her, that actually wants to have people play with her! Gone is the passive Jamie and in her place we have the cooing, laughing, and smiley Jamie. It is truly delightful to just sit in bed with Jamie and have her giggle and interact with you.

This month my mother-in-law has been a huge help - coming over almost every day to take care of Jamie while I get things done around the house and run errands. It was nice too that I got time off to spend with my friends, Jogs and Les, who spent part of their honeymoon in LA. But what I like most about having mommy lola take care of Jamie, is the fact that it allows me to have quality time with my daughter. I think it does both me and my baby a lot of good!

Jamie has been growing well. Her appetite is good and although she has not increased her milk intake too much, she seems to be retaining more milk these days (pooping has decreased considerably). Also, sleep habits are somewhat improved. There have been nights where Jojo and I snuck in 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep! But ... those are few and far between ... mostly we get 4-5 hour stretches (for which we are already very grateful).

Apart from dry skin, which has led us to using Cortizone to minimize itch and Aquaphore to hydrate skin - Jamie's third month has been pretty smooth sailing. She has developed some unusual habits - not only does she thumb-suck, Jamie actually puts 3-4 fingers in her mouth at the same time (thus triggering a gag reflex!). She also likes to scratch herself (sometimes inflicting little scars on her face and scalp!). I've started cutting and filing her nails every other day. Jojo has started using mittens on her hands (which she removes) so we've resorted to using long socks on her hands (they stay on just a wee bit longer!). Also, our baby has developed an aversion to using her pacifier and to being swaddled at night (two things she used to seem to like!).

Lots more to recap but fr the most part, it's been a tiring yet fulfilling third month. Jamie continues to be amazing and wonderful! It just seems to continually get better =)

Dear Jamie (this month's nicknames include: Bibing, Shepepeng, Bing-ti-di-bing and Baby-Jamie-Jamie-Baby),

Another month has passed by and you continue to grow into a beautiful (both inside and out) person. Your personality is starting to show and I can not stress enough how excited I am to continually discover more about who you are. You seem to have a mind of your own (even at such a young age) and I am so happy about that (hopefully I won't have to eat my words!). You are incredibly determined when you are learning or discovering something new (like lifting your head during tummy time sessions). You continue to amaze me and make me proud.

Thank you, Little One. Thank you for trusting me and sharing your smiles with me. Thank you for allowing me to make mistakes as I learn to be a better mom. I am truly humbled to be your mom and to share this journey of growth and development with you. I am looking forward to the next month and to being part of your life!

Your daddy and I love you to bits - now and always!

2 Months and 2 Weeks

2011-06-13T13:38:00.000-07:00

Jamie is 2 months and 2 weeks old today. Amazingly there have been so many little milestones she has reached. For starters, she is so much interactive these days. She literally smiles up at us when we sing her silly songs and when we call her silly names. She can coo back at us when we talk to her, making us believe she truly understands what we are saying. She even bats her eyes and laughs out loud when we play with her. It's such a joy that such a little person can be so wonderful.

What makes Jamie so interesting is all the little mannerisms she has that make her truly unique. I love how she always has her hands clasped (like she's praying or holding them demurely together like a proper little lady). She also has a way of curling her toes and arching her feet when she's drinking her milk. Like she's super excited to be eating! Jamie also has a very cute way of puckering her lips while yawning. It's almost as if she's fighting off the yawn by making her mouth smaller. But my favorites has got to be how she twists her head from left to right (ala Stevie Wonder) as she breaks into one of her stretches (complete with arms thrown up high). She absolutely looks so relaxed as she does this. So totally cute!!!

I could go on and on about Jamie and all her wonderfulness - but I probably should stop before I bore any of my readers. Suffice it to say this little girl is a true blessing to us and she continues to make me a believer that miracles still come true every single day!

Jamie's Second Month

2011-05-29T21:04:00.001-07:00

Today is actually the day before Jamie's second month ... but I thought I'd get a head start on writing this post to commemorate the event. It's sort of hard to believe that another month has flown by ... I find myself waking up each day, going about our little routines and it sometimes seems like time goes by so slowly. And then, I look at the calendar and it's already time to celebrate another monthsary. It boggles the mind!

In just 2 months (that's 8+ weeks or 60+ days), our little baby girl has grown so much. When I look at Jamie's pictures, taken when she was still at the hospital or when she just got home, it's amazing how bigger and fuller she is now! I am so amazed at how much our little angel has changed in such a short amount of time.

I still love how our baby looks when she is sleeping peacefully, how her whole face scrunches up when she wakes up from sleep and stretches, how she opens her eyes wide when she looks up at me, how she makes small contented sighs when she's drinking her formula or when she yawns. And now, this 2nd month, there are even more things I am discovering about her that I love.

This second month:

+ Jamie definitely has a personality and she's not afraid to show it. When she's hungry - she makes sure we know she wants her milk and we better make it as fast as we can! When she wants to play (instead of sleep), there's no amount of begging on our end that will get her to close her eyes. And when she wants to be carried, there is no trick we have not tried that has worked to keep her in her crib! Such a strong-willed little force to be reckoned with!

+ Jamie has two sets of families that love, love, love her - it will be a true test of our parenting skills to keep her from getting spoiled. My mom was here the first part of this month and would go on walks with Jamie every morning, would carry her and rock her to sleep at night, would coo and cuddle with her when she got fussy. Jojo's mom was with us the second part of the month and she would tirelessly carry Jamie all afternoon just to get her to sleep, she sings endless lullabys to get Jamie to settle down, and is on hand to feed and change this little baby. My sisters, Jojo's sisters, my in-laws and Jojo's in-laws are on-hand to ooh and aah over this beautiful baby. I can't get over how much of a star she is whenever we have get-togethers!

+ Jamie has been steadily gaining weight and getting bigger. I am so glad every time we go for weigh ins at Healthlinks. I used to fret about her small stature - but these days I am assured she is a healthy baby girl =)

+ I am worrying a lot though about vaccines. This Wed Jamie is getting her first round of shots and I am so scared ... I've been talking to everyone and anyone who cares to listen. I've done a lot of research. I've read everything I can get my hands on regarding vaccines. I know the positives outweigh the negatives by leaps and bounds ... but my heart aches thinking of the pain it may cause Jamie and the possible negative effects there may be after she gets her shots. Oh the pains of being a parent! I have never appreciated my own parents more than I do now!

+ We've had little milestones - such as Jamie's first time to go to mass (and she behaved beautifully all throughout!), Jamie attending her first party (her cousins' first communion celebration - she was a hit because everyone wanted to hold her!), Jamie starting to interact more with Jojo and myself (I love how we can play little games with her and she coos back at us and flashes toothless grins). Also, Jamie has now transitioned (flawlessly) to sleeping on the big bed (with us) to sleeping on her bassinet (beside us). Biggest perk is we now enjoy 4-5 hour stretches of uninterrupted sleep - some rare nights we even have a 6-hour run! Such a blessing =) It is amazing what a precious gift this baby girl truly is to us.

To my dearest darling Jamie (we still call you all those nicknames from when you were born to a few new ones we've added this month : Toothless, Haymee-hames, Scarface, Baby Banshee, Pretty-pretty, and Sweetie),

You are the light of your dad's and my life. Thank you for giving us a reason to wake up each morning and making us smile every day. We are so glad that we have you to make our family complete.

Happy second month, Jamie!

May 21: Doomsday (NOT)

2011-05-23T10:20:00.000-07:00

There has been a lot of talk about May 21st being the supposed end of the world. It has become such a hot topic that it was even discussed in yesterday's mass. (Now, I know it's pretty serious when Fr. Treadue talks about it during the homily!). Well, May 21st has come and gone - and since we are all still alive and breathing - it just goes to show that no one knows when exactly the end of the world will happen. You would think that by now, people would wise up and stop believing these "rumors" and supposed prophets should stop trying to make "predictions". We should just go on with our lives and if the end of the world comes during our lifetime - then we deal with it then and there (after all, if it does happen, there really isn't much we can do about it anyway!).

Despite my skepticism about the prediction that May 21st will be the day the world ends, I did stop and think about how I would have lived that day any differently. Of course, if I had a choice I would like to be surrounded by my family and doing the things I love to do. Come to think of it, that's pretty much how we spent last Saturday anyway. We were at home (Jojo, Jamie and I). We watched tv, read books, cooked meals, napped and did chores (all the things I like to do - well, except the did chores part!). I would have loved to have my mom, brothers and sisters close by (but I know they were all doing what made them happy on a Saturday too). I know mom went to watch a play with her friend, Jules had a dinner party at home, Jim was in Boracay with friends, Joy was at the movies with classmates, and Atsi was spending the day with Mark. So even if we were not all together physically, everyone was happy where they were. But more importantly, I got to spend it with Jojo and Jamie - safe and sound at home.

So, if the world did end last May 21st - I guess I would have been pretty content with where I was and with whom I was with - and honestly, I would have been ok with the life I have had so far - because honestly ... it has been pretty awesome =)

To Breastfeed or Not To Breastfeed?

2011-05-18T13:18:00.000-07:00

I want to start out by saying I believe 100% that breastfeeding is best for baby. It is also beneficial for mommy. This post is by no means detracting from all the good things that come from breastfeeding one's baby.

However, I want to write about the fact that I did not have a very good experience with breastfeeding. I don't really know who to blame for that - so I'm chalking it up to circumstance (basically, it's just how things turned out). When I delivered, I was so gung ho on breastfeed exclusively. I told myself that Jamie would be purely breastfed for at least the first 3-6 months. To prove that, I did not buy a single bottle, nipple or can of formula. Jojo and I were committed to making it work and we attended not only breastfeeding classes, but also breastfeeding clinics and sessions with lactation consultants.

The first few days after I delivered, we diligently tried to breastfeed round the clock. Every 3 hours, we would put Jamie to breast (morning, noon and night). We even woke her up when she slept through feedings. We did the usual 15-20 minutes per breast. It was really hard because I had to feed every 3 hours and each feeding took almost an hour. I had to feed Jamie and take care of her 24/7 all while recovering from a C-section! I was so tired and in a lot of pain - but I had to do it since this was the only food source for Jamie. I repeatedly declined the nursing staff's offer to give Jamie a bottle of formula. This is what I learned from lactation consultants and Jamie's pediatrician.

We noticed though I had no milk at that time. I was reassured that the baby had enough "extra food" in her body to get through my dry spell. I was also told that colostrum (concentrated milk) was coming out even if I could not see it. Jamie lost weight every day for the first 3 days which worried me, but I was told that babies lose weight during the first week anyway. So we kept trying even if it was already starting to get discouraging. By the 5th day (day before we checked out), we were alarmed when the pedia on call announced our baby lost 12% of her weight and he was ordering her to be put on formula immediately. You can imagine how devastating it was for me as a new mom. I found out my baby was hungry all 5 days and that she was losing too much weight. I had no milk even if we were doing everything we were taught and told. I was a wreck, blaming myself and feeling terrible that all my efforts were in vain. It did not help my recovery from the C-section had complications as well. I was still bleeding, bloated from all the excess water, and really physically tired and in pain.

When we left the hospital, I was still determined to breastfeed. We rented a hospital grade breast pump to help me extract milk. I did this round the clock too. I would put Jamie to my breast every 3 hours (or whenever she cried) and pump in between. My breasts were sore but we did not get a whole lot of milk. I was frustrated every time. We tried this for a week. Jamie was feeding about 8 times a day. We had her drink breastmilk from a bottle for 6 feedings, supplemented with formula for 2 feedings, and latch on to the breast in between. It was really physically hard. I was still tired from my operation, was still taking painkillers for the pain, and did not get enough sleep cause Jamie was extra fussy especially at night. I was cranky and depressed most of the time. I actually broke down and cried several times - all in one week!

The second and third week got a little worse. Jamie progressively needed more milk and I was producing the same amount or even less. Sometimes I would pump and get 30 ml of milk, while Jamie needed to eat 60-90 ml per feeding. I would have to pump twice (every 3 hours) to feed her once. This resulted in using formula more and more. Every time I used formula, I had feelings of guilt and self-doubt. It was such a frustrating cycle. My mom was making me all kinds of soupy dishes and healthy food - all in the effort to increase my milk production. I was on the web researching all sorts of ways to increase breastmilk - from fenugreek, to milk thistle, to blessed milk thistle. Nothing helped!

By the fourth week, we were down to 50% breastmilk and 50% formula (and then less and less each day). I was really physically, mentally and emotionally tired from breastfeeding. Jamie was also getting increasingly frustrated every time she latched. (By the way, her latch was ok - as per the lactation specialists we met with - I think it was more because she wasn't getting enough as compared to the bottle). Increasingly, I was under so much pressure that it was affecting the way I treated my baby, my hubby, and everyone else around me. It was then I decided to let it go. I would breastfeed as much as I could but I refused to let it continue to consume me. My rationalization was that I wanted to be a good mother and breastfeeding was not the only way I could do that.

By the 5th week, my milk supply was at an all time low. Sometimes I was down to 20 ml per pumping session and Jamie was already at 90-100 ml per feeding. I then decided that pumping was not helping so I decided to forego the pump and just have the baby latch on when she wanted to. By then, we were about 80-90% dependent on formula already. During this time, with the support I got from my mom, husband, sister, family and friends, I started to let go of all the insecurities I had about not being able to breastfeed. I started hearing of so many others who had the same frustrations, concerns and issues that I did - and it gave me some sense of relief.

By the 6th week, we were on 100% formula and breastfeeding just on occasion (sometimes just to pacify Jamie or to get her through the next feeding). Did I feel any guilt over this? I guess somewhat ... but I also felt that I was being a better mom to my baby because I could focus on doing other things for her rather than being consumed by just breastfeeding. I also felt it was better for me too (I had overcome the onset of a post-partum depression primarily brought about by my breastfeeding anxieties). And lastly, I was a better person to live with as I am sure my hubby, mom and sister can attest to!

Today (Jamie is at 7 weeks), I have stopped breastfeeding altogether. My baby no longer looks for it and I no longer offer it. I'm not proud of this but neither am I racked with guilt. It is what it is. I have finally come to grips with the whole breastfeeding issue. I still believe in its benefits and still admire women who are able to do it. I do realize though that even with the best of intentions sometimes it just does not work out the way we want it to. There are times when it is beyond our control. I refuse, though, to let my inability to do it define who I am or the kind of mom I can be. I still want to be the best mom I can be and I know there will be other opportunities and instances wherein I can prove that to my daughter.

My First Mother's Day

2011-05-08T19:35:00.000-07:00

My very first mother's day celebration is a bittersweet event. On the one hand, it is a happy occasion now that I have Jamie with me and I can stare into her beautiful baby eyes. On the other hand, it is also somewhat sad because, last night, my own mom left for Manila.

Rather than focus on my own experience of being a mom (which is all of 37 days and counting), I'd rather spend this post and talk about my own mom. After all, I owe her so much and I want her to know how special she is to me.

My mom has always been the ideal mother. When we were growing up, she was the quintessential homemaker who believed the family should eat a home-cooked dinner together every night. She baked cookies and was active in parent teacher activities in all of our schools. She welcomed all of our family and friends into our home (we had dinner guests almost every night!). She held the family together by making sure she was a loving wife and a doting mother. Many times, we were teased by our friends for having the perfect "Brady Bunch" family - and largely it was because of my mom. I will forever be grateful to my mom for giving us such a happy and well-balanced childhood.

Fast forward to today, I am now 36 years old and despite of my age I still rely on my mom for so many things. I've lived away from home for 10 years but still value my mom's advice, her tips and techniques for keeping a home running in order, her insight on my personal and professional life, and her encouragement whenever I feel down. She has never failed me even though she is so busy taking care of so many things.

Recently, my mom came over to the States to help my sister, Joy, get settled for school. She also came to help me during my last stage of pregnancy and as I started life as a new mom. I can not stress enough how invaluable her presence was for all of us. I am grateful not only because of all the meals she prepared, the housekeeping she did, and the shopping trips she went on for us. (Of course, those are much appreciated too!).

But I am more grateful for her quiet presence in the house. She has helped me retain my sanity especially the first few days after I delivered Jamie. I truly believe she is the main reason I got over the onset of my post-partum depression. Her encouragement helped make me stronger. Her calm manner helped put things in perspective. Her support helped me see that I could manage being a new mom even when I thought I could not. Her reassurance helped make me lessen my doubts and fears. I owe a lot to my mom for helping me adjust to motherhood. I do not think I could have done it without her. So please allow me to THANK her from the bottom of my heart.

I guess the message I posted on mom's Facebook page today sums it up best:
We all believe we have the best mom in the world. I believe God intended it that way when he chose which moms & which kids go together. Today, I wish Judy L. Lim, the best mom for me, a HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY. Mom, you truly are God's blessing to me. I can't tell you enough how grateful I am for all that you do & how much you mean to me. If I could be half as good a mom as you are, Jamie would be so lucky! I LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH.

Jamie's First Month

2011-05-04T18:07:00.000-07:00

Jamie turned a month old last April 30. I wanted to post this sooner but there just wasn't enough time. Here are some highlights of the last month:

+ The first week we spent at the hospital (we were there 5 and a half days). Those kind of went by in a blur since I was recovering from a C-section and Jojo was just becoming used to daddy-hood. We did experience some parental anxiety early on though cause Jamie lost a lot of weight (12% of her birth weight) since my breast milk was not flowing as much as we'd like. We started a formula supplement by the time we left the hospital.

+ Life at home took some getting used to. Jamie was pretty fussy the first night (as was expected) - this continued for maybe the first 2 weeks (also expected). It was a real crash course in parenthood for Jojo and myself. We had to learn - FAST! Sleepless nights became the norm and life revolved around our little angel.

+ By the 2nd week, Jamie gained the weight she needed to gain. It was such a relief for me! I was actually able to breathe a little bit better then. Life sort of settled into a routine (eating, burping, sleeping, peeing, pooping, tummy time and crying time).

+ A miracle happened when Jojo suggested we start sleeping in our room again (prior to that we were rooming in the nursery so we could be close to Jamie). By the 3rd week, we moved to our room and tried co-sleeping (Jamie in between us on our bed). It was a success. She slept soundly only waking for her feedings and then falling asleep again after burping and diaper changes. I thought it may only be a good night ... but so far we've had a week of good nights already so I am going to tempt the fates by saying "our baby has gotten the hang of sleeping at nights!" (hope this does not jinx things!)

+ Lots of little firsts too. Too many to mention but all of which I hold dearly in my heart. Jamie has grown in the last month and I marvel at how this little precious baby can already assert herself so clearly. She has a temper and is not afraid to show it (especially when mommy and daddy are slow at getting her formula ready!). When she is quiet, Jamie looks at us with her almond-shaped eyes and you can almost imagine that she understands what we are saying. Her lips break into a gassy smile when she is content and happy and they pucker up when she's hungry or angry.

+ This first month was a true test for Jojo and myself - we discovered a lot about ourselves and what it truly means to be a parent. It's only been 30 days and yet I already feel humbled and in awe of all the parents out there who selflessly devote their time and effort for their kids. This is especially true of my own mom who is here with us helping us through this transition. She has been AMAZING both as a mom to us (making our meals, cleaning up after us, making sure we have what we need, and just providing a shoulder for me to cry on and an ear for me to vent my frustrations to). She's been an excellent guammy to Jamie too (taking her for morning walks to get sun, rocking her to sleep, and calming her down when she's fussy - for some reason Jamie takes to her really, really well!). If I could only be half the mom my mom is - Jamie would be a really lucky baby!

To our darling daughter, Jamie (also known as "Honeybee, Hummingbird, Baby Angel, Jamie G, Jamie Mayer, Beanie, Beanster, Pangga, Baby Girl, and Puchoy):

Thank you for being patient with your dad and mom - as we learn how to be good parents. Thank you for being the beautiful, sweet and charming baby that you are. Thank you for making us so happy this last month. And thank you in advance for the many adventures we will still be sharing together.

We love you so much!

From, mommy and daddy.

4 Weeks

2011-04-27T21:43:00.000-07:00

Jamie is 4 weeks old today. It's hard to sum up how the last 4 weeks have gone ... in a way, it just went by so fast. In other ways, it has been achingly slow.

Four weeks seem like forever when you are up at 2:00 AM, desperately trying to soothe a crying newborn. Four weeks seem like forever when you are changing the eighth dirty diaper and is not even noon yet. Four weeks seem like forever when you have to drag yourself out of bed at 5:30 AM to breastfeed. Four weeks seem like forever when you have to sterilize bottles and prepare formula while balancing a fussy baby on one arm. Four weeks seem like forever when you are worried about your baby eating, sleeping and pooping habits. Four weeks seem like forever when you sleep with one eye open making sure you don't miss a feeding or fail to hear your baby whimper in her sleep.

Four weeks went by in a blink every time I watch Jamie smile in her sleep. Four weeks went by in a blink every time I rest Jamie's head on my shoulder and we end up cheek-to-cheek. Four weeks went by in a blink every time I see my baby watch me with trusting eyes as I feed her my milk. Four weeks went by in a blink every time Jamie makes her funny faces and cute sighs. Four weeks went by in a blink every time Jamie poses prettily for the camera. Four weeks went by in a blink every time Jojo and I stop to marvel at our beautiful little angel.

But no matter how I look at it, I can say the last 4 weeks have been a humbling and rewarding experience. Jamie has completely changed my life for the better. I know there will still be many ups and downs - and that I am still in for a crazy ride. But, in my heart, I know it will be worth it.

Quick Prayer

2011-04-23T16:26:00.000-07:00

Lord,

Thank you for giving us a little baby girl. Jamie is truly a baby angel and we are humbled to be given the chance to take care of her and welcome her into our family. We know how truly blessed we are to have this little miracle with us.

On the same note, Lord, I pray for PATIENCE and STRENGTH to be a good mom. These last 3 weeks have been truly an eye-opening experience for me. It has been challenging to say the least. But I know in my heart that all good things are worth the effort - and Jamie is definitely worth all the sacrifice.

Please bless my husband too. He has been a wonderful support and a huge help to me. He has also demonstrated in such a short time how good a father he is to our baby. Give Jojo the endurance for our all-nighters ... as well as the strength to continue studying for his certification and eventually as he looks for a job.

Please bless my mom. She has been invaluable during this time and while I will miss her when she goes home, I know that she is always there for us. Help me be strong when she leaves. And help mom be reassured that we will be well cause I know she worries about us too. Please bless everyone else who has offered me encouragement and support during this time. Everyone's support, no matter how small, has helped me move forward.

Thank you again, Lord, for blessing us with Jamie. Please help us to be worthy of this special gift.

Papa, I know you can read this and you can hear me ... please intercede for us and help us take care of your baby granddaughter ...

This I ask during this Easter season ... AMEN.

Lucky Seven

2011-04-20T10:30:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a great day. After last week's visit to the pediatrician, we found out Jamie had gained 5 ounces (she was at 6.5 pounds). This in itself was good news as my baby was finally on the road to recovering the weight she had lost during her first week. However, Dr. Chung was hoping she would gain 7 ounces (1 ounce per day).

Our next pedia appointment is not till the 27th (two weeks later). But me, being the anxious mother that I am, can not wait 2 weeks - so yesterday (being the 1 week mark), I asked Jojo to take us to Healthlinks where we could use their scale and weigh Jamie. I was hoping she would be up to 6.12 (gaining 7 ounces in the last 7 days). But we were very pleasantly surprised to find that Jamie was an even 7 pounds (gaining about 10 ounces - give or take a few). I called Dr. Chung and she was happy about the news too.

Finally, I am able to breathe a little sigh of relief. The all-nighters and round the clock feedings are working. The progress in Jamie's weight shows that she is getting enough nutrients and nourishment. My paranoia is abated somewhat - at least in terms of her feeding. Of course, we still have lots to do but for now, I am just so happy to know she is ok.

Other milestones:

Yesterday, Jamie enjoyed her first manicure (which I had to do ever so carefully and while she was asleep). She started Enfamil powdered formula (and liked it). We are now up to 2 ounces per feeding - and may increase to 3 ounces by the end of the week.
She is now using her new Avent bottles / nipples - and had no problem adapting to them. We are still on a breastmilk and formula supplemented diet - and it seems to be working well for Jamie.

Today, is her third week. Our baby is 21 ... days old!

Thank you, God for these little milestones!

Realizations

2011-04-16T12:54:00.000-07:00

A few realizations I've come to chance upon the last few days:

1.) I'm the kind of person who likes to be prepared, organized and know what I am up against. Whether in my personal life or professional career. Motherhood has stripped me of that. With being a mom, there is no way I can be prepared for everything, no way I can be completely organized about things, and no way to predict and know everything that comes up. This is what scares me about motherhood.

2.) Now that I have come to realize that I can not be as prepared and organized as I'd like to be - I have to focus on what I can do about it. I will take it one day at a time. I will do the best I can. I will not take minor setbacks personally. I will try to prepare as much as I can but also accept that some things are just beyond my control. I need to help myself through this.

3.) My husband, mom and sister are my core support group. They are with me 24/7 and have been 100% there for Jamie and me. I am so lucky and blessed to have them.

4.) Soon, my sister is going to be busy with school, my husband will have to go back to work, my mom will be leaving for home. I have to realize it is NOT the end of the world. It is just a shift in how things are. I still have their support - but it's also time for me to "stand on my own" and be a "mom" to my baby.

5.) Life will never throw up challenges we can not handle. I know that - now I've got to "live" it.

P.S. THANK YOU to my friends and family who have read my blog and have written me emails to show support. You guys are all angels helping me through this. THANK YOU again!

New Mommy Fears

2011-04-13T18:19:00.000-07:00

While the euphoria of having Jamie with us is still very much in the air, these days I also find myself worrying constantly and stressing over the littlest matters. I think this is what they call "new mommy fears" and unfortunately I've got it pretty bad! I'm normally a calm and rational person. But lately I find that my emotions have the tendency to run haywire!

For starters, I get so rattled when Jamie cries and I don't know why. After the usual diaper check, feeding check, and finding out she is ok, I get so frustrated when she cries and I can't calm her down. I don't know why I seem to take it somewhat personally! Also, in the evenings when we get ready to sleep, I find I am so restless and sleep so lightly that every time Jamie stirs in her sleep, I get up and check on her. It drives me crazy that I am so obsessive about making sure she is alright.

Not only that - but I am also so paranoid about other things too. My mom is leaving for Manila in three weeks. And soon Jojo will be taking his CCENT exam and will be going back to work. As early as now, I am starting to worry about being left alone with Jamie and whether I can manage to take care of her properly. Is this weird? I am usually so sure of myself and so confident I can take on new things - but these days I feel so unsure of myself. Is this postpartum? Is this normal "new mommy fears"? Is this me losing my mind?

Baby Girl ... Rock My World (Part 2)

2011-04-08T14:40:00.000-07:00

As I type this post, I am watching my ten-day old daughter asleep beside me. It's still a bit surreal to me to have Jamie here. After waiting so long, sometimes I still can not believe I have been blessed with this miracle and that she is finally here in the flesh - living and breathing next to me. I don't want to take a single moment for granted and want to make sure I do the very best I can for her. I have been a mother for only ten days and so far the experience has been a rollercoaster of emotions.

For starters, let me tell you that being a mother is no easy task. I have some new found respect for mothers everywhere - including and most especially my own! The last 10 days have totally turned our world upside down. Jojo and I have been totally focused on Jamie's every need - whether she is awake or asleep. Feedings are every 2-3 hours. Jojo can prepare formula in a heartbeat while I can get into breastfeeding position in record time. Changing diapers has become routine and we can practically do it with our eyes closed - which is great for those midnight and early morning changes. We have learned to sleep lightly (almost with one eye open to watch out for Jamie). We've learned to eat in shifts and to multitask to get everything done.

Gone are the days when our lives were just ours. These days our lives are ruled by a beautiful 6 pound, 19-inch tall angel. We are totally at her beck and call. And I would not have it any other way. Nevermind the long nights spent cradling her in my arms so she can fall asleep. Nevermind the missed tv shows and movies we were planning to see which are now spent preparing for Jamie's needs. Nevermind not being able to go out with friends and family since we mostly spend time just rocking her bassinette to lull her to sleep. Nevermind not having time to do household chores and run errands, I'd rather just hold her in my arms and make sure she's ok. Nevermind not having time for myself when I have this beautiful baby by my side.

Jojo and I make a pretty good team. Coupled with incredible support from my mom and sister, Joy, the last few days have been filled with so many learning experiences and revelations. I am tired physically and I am still healing from my c-section - but at the same time my heart is bursting with joy every time I see this angelic face with her gorgeous eyes looking up at me. I think this is what every mom says is what makes motherhood (despite its difficulties) worth everything.

Baby Girl ... Rock My World (Part 1)

2011-04-06T14:21:00.000-07:00

She's here. She's finally here. I am still in shocked awe that our precious baby girl is with us. Every time I look into her face, I get all humbled by just how beautiful and precious she really is. Beautiful baby face, gorgeous almond eyes, fair skin with pink cheeks, and that baby smell (you'd make millions if you could bottle that scent!). Jojo and I quietly marvel at the little miracle we have been blessed with - it's still a bit surreal and astonishing to me (even though it's already been a week).

Let me back track a bit. Jamie was born on March 30th at 8:58 am. I underwent a C-section because the baby was in distress and her heartbeat would decline after each contraction. My doctor was worried she would not survive the rigors a of a natural delivery. So at 8:00 am, Jojo and I consented to a C-section and 20 minutes later I was wheeled into the operating room.

I was scared and really anxious. Jojo was supportive but I could see he was concerned too. To be honest though, after almost 12 hours of labor prior to that, the 20-minute operation was not a bad ordeal. I barely felt what was happening but was conscious the whole time. My best memory is when the doctor said "Here she comes" and I heard two loud gusty cries. The nurse took her to a side table to wipe her down. Just seeing her for the first time brought tears to my eyes. She was so perfect and I was so overwhelmed with emotion. Minutes later, she was laid on my chest so we could bond, skin to skin. I will never ever forget that moment when I first looked into her face, first held her little body, first felt her next to me. I will never forget the first time I inhaled her scent and felt her move on top of me. It is a moment I can only describe as pure joy. We got to spend the golden hour together as a family. JOjo and I talked in hushed tones about our precious little Jamie. It is no doubt one of the best moments of my life.

THANK YOU GOD for this beautiful blessing!

Tenth Letter

2011-03-29T20:31:00.000-07:00

Dearest Jamie,

I think the time if finally here ...

This morning, I woke up to a slight pain in my belly and saw that I had started to leak a bit of blood and mucus (I know it sounds gross but it's a good sign). We went to the hospital for my scheduled NST (fetal monitoring) and it showed that you were very active but there were little to no contractions yet. My nurse, Diane, thought it would be a good idea to have me go for an ultrasound just to make sure. During the ultrasound, it showed I had a huge decrease in fluids in my belly. My last fluid check was at 11 (I don't know the unit of measurement) but today I was at 5.1. They notified my doctor who asked me to go home and rest (it was around 11:30 AM). We were asked to return at 7 PM and they would begin to induce my labor.

Jojo and I drove home. We were both excited (to see you) and a bit scared (about what to expect). We were in good spirits though and texted the rest of the family to share the news. When we got home, we decided to invite Auntie Joy and Grandma Judy for lunch. It will be some time before I can go out to eat ... I couldn't really decide what to eat. They kept asking what I wanted for my "last meal" before you arrive and I totally drew a blank. We finally decided to go to Island Burgers. This will be a new family tradition. When Grandma Judy was pregnant with me, she also went to the hospital the morning she thought I was coming. Turns out she was also sent home to wait a few more hours. To kill time, my mom went out to lunch and treated herself to a meal of hamburgers! So that's what I wanted to do today too.

After a delish meal of Mushroom burgers, we headed home where I tried to rest and nap. Woke up around 5 PM to mild contractions. At first, I thought it was just a stomachache. But it came and went - maybe every 20-25 minutes and lasted maybe 10-15 seconds. Nothing earth shattering but I could definitely feel each one. It's kinda sorta like strong tummy cramps. I was a bit scared but mom and my mom-in-law assured me it's all good that I am contracting on my own. Maybe it means my induction tonight won't be as long or as intense as we fear. Either way, it's good to know you are on your way!

My dear, Jamie, the long wait is almost over. Hopefully at this time tomorrow (give or take a few hours), you will be with us and we will be holding you in our arms. I am so happy, excited and just giddy with anticipation!

I pray for both of us (and your dad too). I think we have a long night and day ahead of us - it may get painful and scary and intense at times. But I know it will be worth it in the end.

Love you, Beanie. Looking forward to that first hour after birth when our little family of three will be given our "Golden Hour" together.

See you soon, Little Angel.

False Alarm

2011-03-26T13:04:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, at around 4:20 in the afternoon, Jojo told me he had a backache (he had spent a good part of the day reviewing for his CCENT exam and studying while hunched over a computer does nothing for his back). I told Jojo to lie down and take a quick catnap (he also didn't get to sleep much the night before). I was contemplating on going to the salon for a quick hair trim. Jojo didn't want me to go by myself and was insisting he would drop me off when he woke up. I told him he was being silly and that I was perfectly capable of making the trip myself. I was on my way to the phone to call the salon to see if they could squeeze me in for a trim. That was when I felt a trickle of water down my legs. I was very calm at that time. It didn't even register that perhaps it was my water breaking. I just wiped it off and went back to the phone. Then, it happened again. This time, I looked and saw a very clear (water-like liquid) down my legs. No color, no smell, but definitely continuous streaming down my legs.

I walked into our room and calmly announced "Ni, I think my water broke". Jojo was just about to drift off into sleep but despite his groggy state and despite his backache, my heroic hubby sprang into action. No words can describe how fast he got up and was raring to go. In less than 5 minutes, he had changed into his "Lucky shirt" (which he had planned to wear to the hospital). He grabbed our hospital bag and my pillows and loaded them into the car. He ran back to take an Aleve for his backache. Stopped by the office to get our phone chargers and Ipod. Ran to answer the phone (it was ringing). And hurriedly got everything else we needed. He was literally working on super speed!

I, on the other hand, was surfing the internet trying to google "How to Know if Your Water has Broken". I was really calm and was reading articles to see if I was truly going into labor. Jojo told me we should just head over to Torrance Memorial (which is what we were taught in our childbirth class). I was hesitating because there didn't seem to be a lot of water that came out (not the gush I was expecting) and by this time, it seemed to have stopped. But Jojo was insistent. So we loaded up and headed to the hospital.

We got to Labor and Deliver at 4:55 and I was in bed by 5:05 - strapped to a machine which monitored my contractions and my baby's heartbeat. It did show I was majorly contracting but honestly it must have been very mild because I felt nothing (just very mild flutters). Jamie's heartbeat was great and she was moving all around (another good sign). I was hooked up till 7 pm then my nurse came in and did a urine test (to see if I had an infection) and a litmus test (to see if my water did break). She also did a pelvic exam to see if I was dilated at all. The pelvic exam showed I was not yet ready to deliver (dilation was still 1-1.5 cm only) and the baby was still "high" and now yet "low enough" for labor. We had to wait an hour and a half for the two lab tests (urine and litmus tests). Had my litmus test come out positive (meaning my water did break, they would keep me for observation and would probably induce me if it didn't happen naturally).

Jojo and I settled in to wait. We watched tv, played Word Mole, and talked. We had some sandwiches and juice from the labor family nourishment center. At about 9 pm, the nurse came in with good and not so good news. Good news is I had no infections. Not so good news, my water had not broken. (I still don't know what that "water" streaming down my legs was!). We had to wait another hour for my doctor to sign off on my release. Before leaving, they did another pelvic test which showed I had not increased dilation. After filling out some forms and getting my release papers, we finally left at 10:30 PM. 5 and a half hours at the hospital only to find out it was a false alarm.

The three things I am glad about though was:
1.) We had a great dry run for what to do on the "Big Day".
2.) The nurses and staff at Torrance Memorial are really great at their jobs (even with minor delays that caused us to have to wait, they were very thorough and I felt well taken care of).
3.) An amazing husband who is extremely level-headed and very efficient when it comes to emergencies. He is truly my hero!!!

Still Nothing ...

2011-03-24T10:36:00.000-07:00

Last Tuesday, during my non-stress test at Torrance Memorial, I had very mild but very far apart contractions. Yesterday, during my routine check-up with Dr. Chen, I was already 1.5 cm dilated. But, so far ... still ... nothing ...

Lately, I've been dealing with a bit more aches and pains. Nothing major. And maybe somewhat psychological. But it seems my wrists and knuckles are a bit tender (completely normal as per Dr. Chen). Also, my feet and fingers are puffier (a.k.a. "manas"). Nothing too noticeable - but I can tell cause my shoes are tighter and I can barely get my wedding band on and off these days.

My belly is carrying low (as per some folks) but not yet "low enough" (as per others). I am tired more easily as my belly is really heavy. It's an effort getting in and out of bed (which is ironic since I now have to pee every so often). Jamie's diapers are getting mighty tempting to use! =)

I haven't really gone through the "nesting stage" wherein I'm suppose to like fixing things and doing housework. I guess my personality of not liking to do housework has overridden this supposed maternal instinct. Thank god my mom and sisters have more than made up for my lack of domesticated abilities.

My hormones are sort of out of whack (nothing new here). My mom and Joy went to spend a few days at Atsi's place. They will be gone exactly 5 days and already I felt so sad when they left. Good thing Jojo has been my Rock of Gibraltar (such a solid support!). Don't know how I could manage all this without him.

My sleeping pattern is still good (I still get much needed sleep). But I do wake up a lot more at night (not just to pee but also to find a comfortable position). It's hard with a belly as massive as mine!

Trying to get in my 2-3 hours of walking a day. Yesterday, was not a good day though since we lazed the morning away, planning to walk in the afternoon. Then it rained and we were stuck at home. I tried to walk around the living and family room - but it's hard to walk for 2-3 hours in such a small amount of space. Today, we will do much better as we plan to combine our errands with my exercise.

I'm getting sort of anxious - not so much because of the thought of labor - but rather just anxious as we wait for THE BIG MOMENT when Jamie is ready to come out!

Any Day Now

2011-03-22T12:27:00.000-07:00

Any day now. Any day now. That's my mantra =) It's both very exciting and somewhat nerve-wracking too. This morning we went for another non-stress test and Jamie was showing off her acrobatic skills. She was uber active which all the nurses said was an excellent sign. The only thing is I was not showing any significant signs of contracting yet. I had two minor contractions in the last hour and both were insignificant enough that I did not even feel them. It seems Baby Jamie is doing just fine but is not quite ready yet to leave her snug little home in my belly.

Tomorrow I have an appointment with Dr. Chen and he will be doing a cervical exam just to see if I'm dilated at all. Hopefully there will be some progress since I don't relish the thought of having to be induced. The thought of labor is already freaky enough ... the thought of being induced for labor just adds a whole other dimension to freaky! =)

Also, my nurse (Laura) was saying that first time moms usually go into labor the longest ... with inducing the baby (that makes the process even longer). The chances of having a C-section also increase. Hopefully we won't have to go that route and things just happen on time and naturally. I'm staying positive =) It helps that I have so much positive affirmation from everyone and that I'm rather calm throughout this whole process.

I can't believe the wait is almost over. Any day now. Any day now. =)

Ninth Letter

2011-03-16T17:09:00.000-07:00

Dear Jamie G,

This week is your 38th week. It's literally any day now. Everyone who sees me says I am now "carrying low" which means you are in position to make that grand entrance ... we could not be any more excited!!!

Your Auntie Joy and Grandma Judy arrived last week. So did your Auntie Jenny. Between your three "fairy godmothers", there has been so much hustle and bustle as we prepare for your arrival. Your room is spotless (and I mean spotless!). You could probably eat off the floor if you wanted to - it is THAT clean. Your closets and drawers are sparkling (Auntie Jenny has done wonders making sure they are pristine). Auntie Joy had wiped down your crib and bassinette. I know that we'll spend many times burping on them, spilling things and changing dirty diapers on them - but for now, it would be hard to find a single germ on any of your room's immaculate surfaces. Grandma Judy has brought you so many nice things from Manila. My favorite is a paper mache mobile she got from Bangkok. It is a beautiful hanging decor with lots of little bunnies (to celebrate the fact that you will be born in the Year of the Rabbit). You also got so many wonderful presents from family and friends from back home. I wish you could see all your beautiful things =)

As if that were not enough, today we went shopping for some more items to complete your wardrobe. We got the essentials, of course. But aside from that list, your Grandma Judy insisted on getting you an additional 24 (yes, you read that right - TWENTY-FOUR) brand new outfits. Honestly, I don't know when and where you will wear all of them! Most of your clothes are for 0-3 month olds and we don't want to keep bringing you out till you are at least 2 months old. So I guess we'll just have to do fashion shoots and pictorials at home to make the most of your beautiful new clothes! You sure are a lucky, lucky and soon-to-be very fashionable little baby.

Yesterday was my last day at work. It was bittersweet. While I am happy to get time off (it's been harder to walk around and actually work 8-hour days), I was also sad since everyone has been extra nice to me lately and it sure felt like I was leaving my family and close friends. My team took me out for shabu-shabu and when we came back they threw me a mini baby shower with all my other co-workers in the staff lounge. I was a bit emotional (as usual) and promised everyone I would come back to visit with you (since everyone is so excited to get to meet you). I am scheduled to go back to work in September (that gives us plenty of time to be together, my dear baby girl, before I head back to work).

Auntie Joy is planning her wedding for next year and we have already been talking about your flower girl dress for that special day. I am so sure you will be the world's cutest and most adorable flower girl!!! I am already being teased for being such a stage mother =) Hopefully by then, you will already be able to walk down the aisle on your own and your daddy and I will proudly watch from the sidelines. If you are not yet ready, no worries, your daddy and I will take your hands and walk along with you. Just as in any other time in your life, my dear Beanie, you can trust that we will either be close by and cheering you on ... unless you need us to hold your hand and walk beside you.

Be well, my darling Jamie G. We love you.

meltdown

2011-03-04T17:06:00.001-08:00

I had a bit of a minor meltdown the other night. Jojo kindly turned a blind eye to what can only be referred to as my pregnancy hormones going on a rampage. But it doesn’t excuse the fact that I really went through a “feeling sorry for myself” state. I guess it was because of … well, everything that has been going on lately. For starters, work has been busy (not stressful, not hard, and not overwhelming). Just BUSY. Then there are so many classes we are taking and so many doctor’s visits and lab appointments. Can you imagine I had two separate doctor visits, went to the hospital twice for fetal monitoring and two baby classes just in the last 5 days! Added to that, I am under pressure by my OB-GYN to walk at least 2 hours a day. TWO FREAKING HOURS! I don’t even have two hours to sit much less walk around! Then there are a gazillion little things we need to do around the house. Jojo has been truly amazing with picking up more than his fair share of housework. But there is always so much to do. Not to mention, my sister and mom are coming on Monday and we have been preparing for their arrival too. Fixing rooms, packing stuff, moving furniture, buying things they’ll need. The list is endless. Of course there’s preparing Jamie’s baby stuff too. Not to mention the fact that I am now as big as a hippo. I now waddle instead of walk. I now have to go pee every hour on the hour. I now get tired so easily. And I have all sorts of little aches and pains. All normal according to my OB, but definitely slows me down!

Anyway, yesterday, started as a typical day. I had an early day starting with a doctor’s appointment at 8:00. Worked an 8-hour day. Came home pretty exhausted. It was raining so Jojo and I had to skip the walk. Instead I tried to walk around the house and do some light housework (picking up stuff, light dusting, and rearranging a cabinet). I made dinner (turkey, lettuce and tomato sandwiches). Then I did the dishes. After that, Jojo and I decided to tackle a Jamie project – we tried to put her bassinette / play yard / changing table together. We worked on it for an hour and a half (so frustrating!). I swear the instructions were no help – unless its purpose was to start a major argument between my husband and I! It was close to 10 PM when I finally gave up and decided to prepare the ingredients for beef nilaga for lunch the next day. While chopping cabbage, I dropped the knife on the kitchen floor (under our butcher block). I couldn’t reach it because of my humongous belly and so I sat down on a stepstool trying to angle my body around. Now at almost eye-level to the floor, I noticed how the floor had not been mopped in almost a week. That’s when I started feeling sorry for myself. Jojo was in the other room still working on Jamie’s bassinette when I started going off on how there was no time to do anything and how busy I was and how huge I was getting and how upset I was over every little thing. Jojo would nod and say “uh-hmm” every few minutes but kept on working on the bassinette – which for some insane reason made me even more mad. So I stalked off to our room and sulked in bed. By the time Jojo came in about 15 minutes later, I was already deep into the “feeling sorry for myself” state. Jojo, God bless him, tried to talk me out of my mood … but let me tell you that reasoning with a pregnant lady, in the state I was in, is a lost battle. It is comparable to trying to reason with an angry grizzly bear, after you just woke from him hibernation, after accidentally setting fire to his cave.

Luckily, Jojo knows me very well. He knows when to just keep quiet and let me vent. He gave me a back massage while I gave in to a good cry. I fell asleep shortly after that. The next day, we woke up and Jojo tentatively asked if I was ok. Of course by then, I don’t even remember half the things I said the night before. And I was pretty much as good as new.

Eighth Letter

2011-03-01T13:17:00.001-08:00

Dear Jamie,

You are officially 9 months already, my darling baby girl! Your dad and I are on pins and needles knowing that any day now, you could make your grand appearance into this world. I cannot begin to express how happy, excited and emotional that makes me feel. Just thinking about you in my arms helps calm fears I have about going into labor or helps ease the little day-to-day stresses that I experience. Just knowing we will have your beautiful smile to look forward to makes me a wee bit more confident that we will learn to cope with the new challenges of first-time parents. Bear with us, Jamie, as we will all be learning together and adjusting to life as a family. I know it won’t be easy but if we do it with an open mind, trust and acceptance, and a whole lot of love – well, we will surely, by hook or by crook, get it right!

These days work has been incredibly hectic. Last week we had an on-campus career fair and an open house which were two events that took a lot of time and energy. And this week, our entire campus is packing as we prepare to move to a new office location (two miles down). So to say we are “busy” is an understatement. Plus, this is my second to the last week at work before I go on maternity leave, which means that aside from my day-to-day activities, I am also preparing turnover reports and training the person who will be taking my place. Whew! Every evening, your dad and I go on long walks because Dr. Chen has now ordered that I walk one to two miles every day (if I want a normal delivery, which I do). And when we get home, we have so many projects around the house as we prepare for your, Auntie Joy and Grandma Judy’s arrival. Lots of cleaning, organizing, packing and moving things around.

This week we also have a lot of doctors appointments and prep classes to attend. On Monday, we met with Dr. Chen. Today (Tuesday), I had to do a non-stress test and ultrasound at Torrance Memorial (we now have to do this twice a week till I deliver). On Wednesday, I have an appointment with Dr. Cheung, my endocrinologist. On Thursday evening, we have our first Infant/Newborn Care class. On Friday, I have my routine non-stress test at the hospital. On Saturday, I am meeting with the lactation specialist at Healthlinks in order to prepare me for breastfeeding. On Sunday, Luisa is coming over to help clean the house (especially your nursery).

I also have some good news to share, Beanie. Last week, your dad’s youngest brother, Tito Jay, and his wife, Tita Cha, invited the whole family to dinner. We thought it was because Tito Jay got a promotion at work. But towards the end of the meal, they shared with us that they are also expecting a baby! Such wonderful news =) Another cousin for you to grow up with. Not that you don’t have enough – on your dad’s side you already have 12 cousins – but I’ve always wanted one to be closer to your age. And now you do, with Tito Jay’s and Tita Cha’s baby on the way (which will be due later this year). Both of you will be born in the Year of the Bunny =)

We have so much to be grateful for, Jamie. This morning, during the ultrasound, the technician mentioned she may have seen you smile … and that made me glad … because whenever I think of you, I also break into a smile. I can’t wait for the first time we will be able to smile at each other, face-to-face. See you soon, Jamie.

Fears

2011-02-24T12:04:00.000-08:00

Now that labor and delivery is just around the corner, I have to admit that I am happy and excited but very much scared and anxious as well. Jojo and I have been attending childbirth classes. I’ve been reading baby books and browsing pregnancy websites. I’ve joined mommy support groups, and, of course, have been getting so much advice from family, friends and colleagues that have gone through childbirth. Sometimes all this knowledge is great and I feel completely empowered knowing what I know. But there are also times when all this information is overwhelming and quite frankly just a little bit daunting.

My childbirth instructor, Pat, told me that if I have any worries or fears about childbirth, I should write them down. Sometimes verbalizing a fear means recognizing it and is the first step in letting it go. Pat encouraged me to write about my fears – journal-style, acknowledge my fears, and “let them go”. I’m pretty sure I can do part of that – writing my fears and acknowledging them is pretty easy. I’m not so sure about the “letting them go” part. But it’s worth a try …

Here are my fears … in no particular order:
1.) Making sure I deliver a normal, healthy baby. I keep thinking about my last 9 months of pregnancy and am paranoid that I did something that hurt Jamie’s development or may make her ill. Like maybe I didn’t take as much vitamins or eat as healthy as I should. I worry about those nights when I slept on my back or found myself waking up asleep on my belly (did I squish her?). Or how I stubbornly wore shoes with heels till my 9th month when everyone was telling me I shouldn’t. The list goes on …
2.) Wanting a natural delivery rather than a C-section. I’ve been hearing horror stories about C-sections and how recovering from one is an ordeal. I’ve never been hospitalized for anything in my life so I don’t know what my recovery rate for any major type of operation will be. But I want to be sure I’m strong enough to take care of my baby after I deliver.
3.) The pain associated with a natural childbirth. I keep hearing stats about how delivering a first baby is usually 16-20 hours of labor. I like to think I have a relatively high tolerance for pain. But then again, I haven’t had much “pain” in my life to really have a good idea about my tolerance level. I’m so scared that I won’t be able to handle it.
4.) I will ask for pain medication. I don’t think I could do without it. But this is how deep set my paranoia is … I’m scared that even with the meds, the pain will still be bad. I’ve heard that happening.
5.) I’m afraid that even with a natural delivery I may tear and still need sutures. Enough said about that.

Okay … I’ve now verbalized and acknowledged my fears … how do I start letting them go?!

Seventh Letter

2011-02-21T21:06:00.000-08:00

Dear Jamie,

Today is your 35th week. In just 7 more days, we will mark the 9th month of my pregnancy. It seems like the 9 months just flew by although in other ways, it also seems like it took forever to get here. These days, your dad and I are finding that there is still so much to do. Every day we have little projects and items to cross off our "Things To Do before Jamie Arrives" list.

Last week, your dad and I met with several prospective pediatricians. We want to make sure that you have a wonderful doctor to take care of you. One who is knowledgeable, and caring, and positive, and happy to be around children. After several interviews and recommendations, we have settled on a doctor named Winnie Chung. Both your dad and I agreed that Dr. Chung and her staff seem like very capable, very supportive, and very trustworthy people to help us care for you. I am hoping that when you meet Dr. Chung you will like her too.

Also last week, your dad and I started attending a series of classes to help us prepare for your arrival. We attended our first (of three) breastfeeding classes, and our whole day childbirth class. Both sessions were extremely informative. I can honestly say, that even if I have been reading baby books and am on every imaginable baby website on the internet, I have learned so much in these sessions. Your dad's response to the classes have been extremely positive too. AT first, I was worried that he would not find them useful and would get bored, but he is actually enjoying them and is very participative in all the class discussions. He always stays to chat with other first-time dads and even with the instructors too. I've started calling him "TP" which is short for "teacher's pet" because he has been so vocal in classes that teachers actually know him by name. I am just so glad that he is taking such an active role in all this. It helps reassure me that we are both so committed to welcoming you to our family.

Today (was President's Day so I got the day off from work) your dad and I worked on little projects around the house. Your dad replaced the filter screens in your room and bathroom (to make sure they are clean). He also cleaned your windows and the windowsill in your bedroom. I've arranged your clothes and things in your very own bureau. I've also started making a list of other essentials we need to get in the next few days. Today, your dad and I also packed the little suitcase we will need when we rush off to the hospital (when you are ready to make your appearance). We took a long walk this afternoon (as per doctor's orders) and most of the time talked about how life will be different but interesting when you arrive.

In about 3 weeks your Auntie Joy and Grandma Judy will be here. I am so excited. You will absolutely love having them here - I am so sure of that. Auntie Joy is coming here since she's attending classes. I am sure you two will have lots of bonding sessions about fashion and how to look for the best shopping bargains! Grandma Judy will be the one to pamper you with lots of TLC - the way she did for us when we were growing up. I am so grateful my mom is coming to help take care of all of us during this very special time in our lives. I know this will mean more to me knowing she is going to be here.

I'm a little nervous, Jamie. I am told you can come as early as March 15 and as late as April 15. Hopefully you come earlier and not so late. You have a ton of guests wanting to come visit you too and I want to be strong enough to welcome them to our home. So, maybe you can help your mom out by coming just a wee bit early? =)

My dear little baby girl, I hope that you are getting ready for your grand entrance into this world. Know that you are eagerly anticipated and already dearly loved.

Cravings

2011-02-15T15:43:00.000-08:00

I’m pregnant and I’m allowed to have cravings … I don’t know if it’s my pregnancy hormones, or today’s rainy day weather, or the fact that it’s such a slow work day that I’m sitting at my work desk with nothing to do … but I have some pretty strong cravings (from vacations, to books, to stuff, to food, etc).

VACATION CRAVING:
1.) I want a weekend in Napa Valley – good food, awesome views, nice weather, and just a relaxing time away from it all. Unfortunately now that I am 8 and a half months preggy, it is not advisable for us to travel.
BOOK CRAVINGS:
1.) A good fiction novel – believe it or not, I haven’t had a good read in a really long time. Lately all I’ve been reading are baby and parenting books (which is informative but also has the tendency to make me a little paranoid about how unprepared I am). So enough baby books! I need fiction! I haven’t been to Barnes & Noble, Borders or even Amazon in a long time – I haven’t even updated my book wish list in almost 6 months!
2.) Baby Sign Language: Find Out What’s on Your Baby’s Mind (by Karine Rosenberg). Okay, I have room for one more baby book on my shelf and this one I really want to teach Jamie to do as soon as possible.
3.) The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest (by Steig Larsson). I actually already read the book and watched the Swedish film version. I just want a copy of the book so I can have a complete set of the trilogy for my library. So far, only the hardcover copy is available and it doesn’t match the copies I already have of the first two books.
STUFF CRAVINGS:
1.) Super comfy flats that I can wear to work. Sort of like Tory Burch flats but not as “flat”. I need flats with a bit of a stacked heel all around. These days I’ve almost given up on wearing heels but I need dressy shoes that I can wear to work. They have to be comfy enough without looking matronly or looking like school shoes. Jojo and I were shoe shopping on Sunday and my theory is that when you are looking for a particular type of shoe, it is just impossible to find.
2.) Dwell Studios' Dots Chocolate Weekender Bag. I love Dwell Studios patterns. I wanted to decorate Beanie’s nursery in their stuff but they only come in sheets and window treatments – and it would have been impossible to find coordinating stuff. Anyway, when I got my instructions to start preparing my overnight bag to bring to the hospital for when I deliver, I immediately wished I had a Dwell Studio bag.
3.) An antique writing desk. I still like my oversized work desk in my home office but I’ve always wanted an antique writing desk with a hutch. I like the Victorian styles with intricate carvings. Having a romantic desk like that, I can almost imagine myself writing the next great American novel … or at the very least make bill paying a little bit more classy!
4.) A stainless steel fridge. Our current fridge is still working (which is why I feel guilty about buying a new fridge) – the only problem is our current fridge has a white façade which no longer matches our stove and microwave (which we upgraded to stainless steel). Actually more than just the fridge, I’d really like a kitchen make-over!
FOOD CRAVINGS:
1.) Gloria Maris hotpot! The other day, Jojo took me to lunch at Shin Sen Gumi (where they serve Japanese shabu-shabu). It wasn’t the same – Shin Sen Gumi had such healthy food (very lean cuts of meat, lots of leafy veggies, tofu and clear soup). I need Gloria Maris’ version – with a variety of fat-filled dumplings and spicy sate soup! I also like the way I make my own dipping sauce (with lots of fresh garlic and chili).
2.) Casa Armas’ conchinillo. I have my best friend, Les, to blame for this … she took Jojo and me for dinner there during our last visit to Manila. And since then, Jojo and I have been dreaming non-stop of that succulently, roasted baby pig. Melt in your mouth goodness. We still talk about it all the time.
3.) Philippe’s French dipped pork sandwiches with spicy mustard. So, so yummy! Why does Philippe’s have to be located in downtown LA where traffic and parking is horrible? Why couldn’t they be located in Torrance where it would be so much more accessible (to me)?
4.) My mom’s home-made, fresh Chinese lumpia. If you’ve tasted my mom’s lumpia … then you know why an explanation is not necessary.
5.) Cheesy puffed corn. It’s not popped corn but rather puffed corn. Like giant, air-filled cornicks. It comes in a clear plastic bag and it is only sold in Unimart. My sister, Joy, and I would buy several bags and eat it every night while watching DVDs. That was my ultimate treat at the end of the day.

Valentine's Day 2011

2011-02-14T10:51:00.000-08:00

Today is Valentine’s Day and while I agree that it is a day to celebrate love for one’s romantic partner, I just don’t see what all the hype is about! Call me a non-conformist but I don’t find myself getting excited over V-day as much as other holidays. Maybe I’ve gotten old and corny. But I like to think that I’ve gotten wiser and more practical. I believe that every day should be a day to show you love your partner. You don’t have to wait till Feb 14th to show someone you care. I do think that if you need one day in a year to go all out and shower someone you love with love, it should be a day that’s special to you. Like your wedding anniversary or the day you first met, something that holds meaning for your relationship, rather than a day designated by Hallmark as the day for lovers. Of course, I respect the fact that others think that Valentine’s Day is special – kudos to them – but luckily my partner, Jojo, shares my sentiments.

Jojo and I shy away from doing the very traditional stuff. We tried a few years back to going out for dinner on Valentine’s Day but after a few tries where we had to wait in line, got our reservations cancelled and had to pay an arm and a leg to eat … well, the idea got old really fast! We also don’t do the flowers and chocolate routine nor do we exchange presents. Instead we get each other what we like throughout the year and call it an early or late Valentine’s Day present. The most Valentine-y tradition we’ve adapted is making each other special home-cooked dinners. It works for us and so far I have absolutely no complaints.

This year is no different. We don’t have any big plans today but we do have an evening planned that is making me quite excited just thinking about it! Tonight we’re making dinner together. I’m preparing garlic mushrooms and a veggie casserole (broccoli, cauliflower and carrots) while Jojo has already marinated a couple of rib-eyes that he’ll be grilling tonight. After dinner, we usually go for a half an hour walk around the neighborhood. Then we’re going to snuggle in and watch our Monday night line-up – Chuck on NBC, Two & a Half Men and Mike & Molly on CBS, and finally Castle on ABC). Then we’ll probably read a little in bed, I may get a back rub since Jojo’s been doing that most nights now that I’m pregnant, and then we’ll call it a night. Perfect date night for me! =)

The only thing different about this year (and I get a little bit sentimental about this) is the fact that this is our “last” as a couple (well, at least our last where it’s just the two of us). I was thinking about this last Saturday. In about three weeks time, my sister and my mom will be arriving. Then Jamie will be joining us in a couple more weeks. While that makes me HAPPY (please don’t get me wrong), it’s also strange to think that it will no longer be just Jojo and me. I’ve gotten used to just the two of us. We’ve been a couple since 1999. Dating for 5 years, engaged for a year, married for 6 years. I’ve been living with my husband, my partner, my best friend. I’m so used to him and he’s so used to me – we are totally in sync with each others’ moods, needs, wants and actions. We only had each other to consider when making decisions. Now, it’s going to be the two of us plus my sister (temporarily), or plus our baby (permanently), or plus whoever is with us. It’s exciting and different but also strange and needs some getting used to. I don’t know if I’m making sense – I’m happy and sentimental all at the same time. It’s all good though. I know things will work out.

Anyway, HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, Ni. While we may not be the typical couple that gets cheesy on this day … I’m still romantic enough to tell you that I love you very much and that I still think I am the luckiest person in the world to have you in my life. Thank you for being the person that you are and making me a better person because of your inspiration and influence. You continue to make me blissfully happy just by having you around me and I look forward to many more happy adventures together.

Baby Shower Pictures

2011-02-12T20:19:00.000-08:00

It started with these invitations being sent out ...

Beanie's shower theme ... baby animals in yellow and pink ...

One side of the buffet ... I didn't get to snap a picture of the other side with the "hot food" and dessert since guests started arriving.

Our very first guests ... right on time!

First batch of guests lining up to eat ...

Still at the buffet line ...

One of the three cupcake towers ...

The party getting started ...

Starting the first of almost 8 games ... "Baby Bottle Drinking" ... our first 5 victims (I mean, contestants)

Serious drinking!

Me, hosting the "Fishing Baby Pins" game ... the other contestants looking nervous!

Awarding the winners a prize ...

Random shot of the crowd and the room ...

Guests forming teams for the "Baby Word Scramble" game ...

Jojo hosting the "Baby Food tasting" game ...

Everyone lining up to get their spoonful of baby food ...

More shots of the crowd ...

Tracy hosting the "Hep, Hep Hooray" game ...

More "Hep, Hep Hooray" contestants ...

Another shot of the shower ...

My nieces entertaining the crowd ...

Still more dancing!

Everyone enjoying the show ...

Moving to the house ... first batch of Beanie's presents to be carried into the nursery.

My many helpers on hand to open the presents ...

Opening presents!

And more baby news ...

2011-02-10T11:40:00.001-08:00

Sorry about not yet posting baby shower pictures. I know they are eagerly awaited. The problem is I was checking our camera and we have a bunch of bad photos. By “bad” I mean, they are shots from weird angles, mostly candid pictures where no one is looking at the camera, and are shot sort of haphazardly. This is because Jojo and I were quite busy entertaining guests and would only grab our camera and shoot pictures when we had a spare moment. I am waiting for the pictures from my sister-in-law, Tracy’s, camera and the ones from my brother-in-law, Jay’s. For one thing, they have better cameras and were able to take better shots. I’ll post those pics as soon as I get copies just cause I think those pictures do more justice showcasing Beanie’s shower.

In other baby news. We had our doctor’s appointment again yesterday. All is going just fantastically well. Thank God. Beanie is growing amazingly fast. She is now almost 5 pounds and is about 14 and a half inches long. Isn’t that incredible? She also moves A LOT these days – she must be doing some baby gymnastics in there cause I feel her tumbling around all the time. Dr. Chen’s only advise is for me to take things a bit easier. I’ve been feeling some pain in my lower back and around my groin area – so I’ve been advised to minimize standing for long periods of time, bending too much and carrying things around. The biggest perk is I have been advised to give up doing strenuous housework. Dr. Chen specifically asked Jojo to pick up the load (not that he hasn’t been doing that already – cause my husband’s been just awesome in taking up more than his fair share – but now we have strict doctor’s orders so I can seriously milk the situation!). Hahaha.

Jojo and I begin our baby classes this week too. We have 3 sessions of Childbirth classes (3 hours for the next 3 Tuesdays), 3 sessions of Breastfeeding classes (on Wednesdays) and 3 sessions of Infant CPR classes (on Thursdays). We also have a full day Saturday class for first time parents. Whew! I’ve also enrolled in “Mommy and Me” classes after I deliver so I can meet with a support group of trained nurses and other moms. Next week we are also starting to interview for our baby’s pediatrician. I have three appointments to meet with prospective doctors located around Torrance. These are all pediatricians that Dr. Chen recommended. I want to interview each one to make sure we find Beanie the perfect doctor to take care of her as she’s growing up.

I’ve put away Jamie’s baby shower presents. While she got a lot of great stuff, there’s still a few more things she needs. I marvel at how much stuff such a small person needs. So this weekend, Jojo and I are heading over to the Baby Depot for last minute stuff. I figured we need to get them now before I become too huge to waddle down store aisles.

So, that’s basically that for now.

Beanie's Baby Shower

2011-02-07T19:36:00.001-08:00

So, we had the baby shower last Saturday and it was AWESOME. I was really touched at how my in-laws and family came together to make this day extra, extra special. We had it at the Activity Room at the Carson Park Sports Complex. This was a great idea since the room was spacious enough for guests, there were enough tables and chairs for at least 60 people, and we didn’t have to do any major preps or clean ups! My sisters-in-law and my sister, Jenny, prepared lot of good food. There was a huge selection of merienda-style finger food. We had appetizers (chips & dip, and cheese & cold cut trays). We had hot food (boneless chicken wings, lumpia shanghai, Swedish meatballs, and two kinds of cocktail sausages). We also had cold food (tuna salad sandwiches, turkey and cheese sandwiches, and ham roll ups). And then there was dessert (we had chocolate and vanilla cupcakes, chocolate chip cookies, cream puffs and mini éclairs). There was soda, juice and bottled water too.

The party officially started at 2:00 PM but my family was there by 1:00 to help decorate the room. We hung streamers, tied balloons on chairs, hung banners announcing “It’s a Baby Girl” and “We’re Having a Baby Shower”, posted baby murals on the walls, and created mini table centerpieces. Everything was done in shades of yellow and pink. We also set up paper plates, cups and napkins in the same shades and with a baby animal theme (which is the motif for Jamie’s nursery). My brothers-in-law set up the sound system so we could play nursery songs in keeping with the theme.

Guests started arriving a little past two and we had a good turnout. I had originally invited about 80 people, 66 confirmed they were coming, and the actual turnout was about 60 people. Not bad. I was really glad too at the mix of folks who came. My good friend, Karen (from grad school) came with her family – we hadn’t seen each other in almost year! Carol (my boss from 2 jobs ago) also stopped by. Zuly, who is actually Jules’ friend but now a friend of the family was also there. Co-workers from Chinatrust and from my current job also joined the fun. Even my former assistant, Peggy, who I have not seen in 2 years was there. Jojo’s IT staff was there in full force, along with their wives. We also had family friends and neighbors share the special day with us. Atsi Jenny and her friends came too. And of course there was family.

We started with eating (of course) and then played lots of games. First we had a diaper raffle which was won by Atsi’s friend, Gunita. Then our first game was who could drink apple cider out of a baby bottle the fastest – we had 5 male volunteers for this game. The winner was my brother-in-law, Mark. There was a lot of good natured teasing throughout the game. Then we had the second game (this time for the ladies) where they had to fish out baby safety pins from a bowl filled with rice while blindfolded. Not as easy as it sounds! The winner was Rebecca (my co-worker) but Atsi was a close second! Then we had the Baby Word Scramble where guests worked in teams to unscramble baby words. The winner was our family friends - Dennis, Dex and Mye’s team (I think it helps that Mye just had a baby 3 months ago so she knew all the words!). It was funny how competitive everyone was – the room actually went silent as everyone worked on the words! Next we played “Guess the Baby Food Flavor”, we had 12 flavors of Gerber baby food and guests had to taste it and determine what they were eating. Jojo’s assistant, Phi and his wife, Katie won that game. They were really good and fast! Everyone did say most baby food flavors tasted gross though – especially number 8 which was mashed up beef and beef gravy! Next we played “Hep, Hep Hooray” first round with the kids and then round two with the adults – my nephew Jorel won the kids round then Peggy won the adults round. Last game of the day was who could say “It’s a Baby Girl” the longest – we thought my co-worker, Faten was the winner (she had 27 seconds) beating out about 10 other contestants but the last competitor was my boss Osei who took the grand prize with 34 seconds! Everyone was a great sport though even though there was a lot of heckling and teasing during all the games. I am also grateful cause my in-laws and Atsi supplied such awesome prizes for all the winners.

After that, my nieces performed several song and dance numbers that had the crowd cheering them on. They were adorable and were a definite hit. Pretty soon it was already 5:00 and guests started leaving. Luckily my in-laws stayed and helped clean up. We left at around 5:45 and headed to our place to open presents and eat all the leftovers. I have to say that seeing everyone, celebrating Beanie’s arrival with so many family and friends, and just having an afternoon of fun was GREAT. But as a bonus, Beanie got a TON of AWESOME gifts. And by a ton, I mean, she really hit the jackpot! We got so much stuff that after my brothers-in-law carried it into the nursery, the whole room was filled with gift bags and gift boxes. I was really touched. Even guests who could not make it (like some of my high school friends, some of Jojo’s former co-workers, and some aunts and uncles that are not here) sent gifts. It took me a while to open all the gifts even if I had help.

I truly am so, so grateful to everyone who shared in our special day. To those who were here and to those who were with us in spirit, a GREAT BIG THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart!

PICTURES TO FOLLOW, I PROMISE! =)

Eating Healthy

2011-02-03T16:26:00.000-08:00

I’ve been reading through my posts and lately all I’ve talked about is Beanie and my pregnancy. Quite naturally, that is the center of my world at this time … of course there are others things going on that I could write about. One is my ongoing love affair with food! Lately, I’ve been trying to eat a more healthy and balanced diet which is all because of Beanie and my pregnancy. But before I digress into more “Beanie and pregnancy talk” … let me share a revelation I’ve had about eating … it’s NOT as HARD to eat healthy as I thought. When I first found out I was pregnant, I thought it would mean a nine month, unhappy dieting ordeal. It kinda, sorta started that way. But later on, things got a bit easier.

We all think that eating healthy means giving up a lot of the foods we love (and while that may be somewhat true), it doesn’t have to be a major life-altering, supreme-act-of-deprivation, complete-sacrifice-of-happiness endeavor. In my case, being pregnant meant giving up caffeine and sushi. But that’s about all I had to give up, really. The rest is all about compromise, substitution and control. Don’t get me wrong, I still give in to my junk food cravings and there is no way I could completely give up sweets and carbs … but I think I have found a way to balance my meals where I am satisfied but can still face my doctor at bi-monthly weigh-ins and check-ups.

As I said, it’s really all about:
1.) Compromise. Let’s say Jojo and I give in to our craving for Chipotle burritos. My compromise is skipping the Burrito order and going for the Bowl instead. That means cutting out on the flour tortilla wrapper, skipping the servings of rice, sour cream and grated cheese. Instead I ask them to load up on lettuce, tomatoes, black beans, salsa and grilled corn. I’ve switched from ordering Steak to Grilled Chicken and we don’t have soda with our meals anymore, just iced water with lemons. Of course, we still get a side order of chips but we now share one order instead of getting one each. Also, if we have a pretty heavy lunch we try to have just fresh fruits or soup for dinner.
2.) Substitution. We’ve totally eliminated eating white bread and have switched to multi-grain. We’ve been eating brown instead of white rice. And have been eating more whole wheat instead of flour pasta. We’ve also stopped using processed sugar and eating foods rich in processed sugar. We eat less pork and beef and eat a lot more chicken and turkey. We’ve switched to using olive oil (and use much less of it too). Also, I’ve tried to cut down on our sodium consumption by using more unsalted products. Instead we now try to flavor with fresh or dried herbs. We still have chips (what can I say, it’s my weakness!) once in a while but we now buy baked or air-popped chips and have cut down on using creamy dips in lieu of homemade salsa and guacamole. And no more cakes and cookies, we now have a lot more smoothies and yogurt if we need a sugar fix.
3.) Control. It’s really hard to control my appetite (eversince!) but more so now that I am pregnant. I find that I am always hungry. Right after a full meal, I actually find myself opening the fridge looking for something more to eat. Also, I find that I am always craving for a variety of food – at various odd times. Jojo has been really key in helping me here. He makes sure we have a lot of healthy options to snack on. When I crave for something sweet, he gets me a cup of Jello with fruit or peels me a tangerine. When I want something salty, he gets me low fat string cheese or microwaves a bag of unsalted air-popped corn. When I’m really in the mood for something “bad”, then he’ll break out our secret stash of Baked Lays potato chips!

These days I feel I am humongous (I love being pregnant cause I can blame it on the pregnancy) but at the same time I’m still within the normal weight gain goal my doctor set out for me. In the last 8 months, I’ve gained about 15 pounds – since I was heavy to start, I’ve been advised to gain a total of 20-25 throughout my pregnancy. I have about 8 weeks to go and may use up the remaining allotted weight gain allowed since at the rate of the last trimester, it’s about a 1 – 1.5 pound weight gain per week. Hopefully it won’t be so bad. But more importantly, I feel a lot healthier too. My blood tests and physical exams show I am healthier now than I was the same time last year. So maybe, I am doing something right! Hopefully this helps with the delivery, post delivery and with Beanie’s overall health too.

Jamie's Room

2011-02-01T21:10:00.000-08:00

Here's a shot of Jamie G's nursery. It's not a great shot ... lighting is so bad (I had to take it at night when it looks so much better when the sunlight is streaming in through the window). Not to mention the photograph angle isn't professional at all (I'm standing by the door, trying to get the whole scene in one shot). And the mobile isn't set up yet (it's that big box by the foot of the crib). But the photo pretty much captures our baby girl's room. Our color scheme is yellow with touches of baby pink and sage. The theme is Baby Safari (which I find so adorable and stimulating!). The room is about half done ... it's still a work in progress but we're getting there. This place brings me such joy. I visit it first thing every morning and walk through it before I go to bed at night. Jojo and I have spent many hours just sitting here and talking. We can't wait to have little Beanie here with us too =)

Sixth Letter

2011-01-29T10:41:00.000-08:00

Dear Beanie,

I think now is as good a time as any to start calling you by your name. After much thought, a voting process rivaling that of the last presidential elections, and guidance from higher powers ... we have decided to name you JAMIE GABRIELLE.

As you may know by now, you are going to be named after your paternal grandfather, James. It is an honor to be named after my dad since he was (or rather IS) the best dad one could ever hope to have. He was (IS) super brilliant, super giving, super funny, and understanding to almost a fault. He was (IS) well-liked by almost every one who meets him and has the unique tendency to be the life of any party. He was (IS) my inspiration to do many of the things I've done or still hope to do in my life. I just know that naming you after him would make him so happy and proud. And I know it would make you that much closer to him too and give you the chance to have him as part of your life as well. I am sure you will be just as special and just as loved as he was (IS).

Your second name, Gabrielle, is after the guardian angel, Gabriel. I've been praying to him to keep you safe during your conception and as you were growing in my belly. I know he has been your protector all this time as well as throughout your life. Angel Gabriel was also the angel that delivered the special news to the Blessed Virgin Mary. The news that through a divine miracle, she would be the mother of Baby Jesus. Your dad and I thought, that since you are our miracle baby too ... Angel Gabriel surely had a hand in sending that special news to us as well. I hope you come to love your name as much as we do. Such a beautiful and special name for an already beautiful and special little angel.

Jamie, last Wed, your dad and I went for my now bi-monthly check up at Dr. Chen's office. All is well. You are developing beautifully and I am thankful you are much more active these days. I constantly feel your little jabs and kicks more regularly. I also feel you tossing and turning in my belly. It's all very reassuring to me even when they sometimes happen at the most inopportune times. For example, last week, you were thumping away (pretty loudly and pretty strongly) during a management meeting I was sitting in on. My co-worker nudged me to show me that he could see my belly vibrating through my shirt! Also, two days ago, I was giving a workshop for about 65 people and while in the midst of my lecture, you chose the time to start wiggling around. I just hope no one noticed my belly was undulating =) But sometimes, it's quite cute too. You move around a lot when I turn up the car radio or when I'm lying in bed and reading. I sometimes stop and just stare at my belly and imagine you are amusing yourself in there.

Dr. Chen did share with us that your due date which we all thought was on March 28 has now been moved to March 30. It's not a big deal really but I was a bit disappointed since any delay in meeting you can do that to me! But Dr. Chen assures me, you could come any day between March 15 or April 15 (two weeks before or after my due date). I am honestly a little nervous about that but the anxiety is definitely overshadowed by the excitement and happiness at meeting you face-to-face. I am just super duper glad that your Auntie Joy and your Grandma Judy will be here to help out during my last month until your first two months (at the very least). Of course, your dad's family is all set to pitch in too!

Lately, I've been reading a lot of baby books and we've signed up for a lot of baby classes. Your dad and I want to make sure we are as prepared as we can be (although we both know that there's no way to be really, really prepared!). We just like to think we are getting a headstart. =)

Also, your baby shower is coming up. I'll share more on that later. But it looks like it is shaping up to be a pretty special event. I am sure you'll have fun as the "guest of honor" even if technically you are not yet due to show up for that event =)

Take care, Jamie G, we love you so much and can't wait to hold you in our arms =)

Birthday

2011-01-25T19:54:00.000-08:00

So, what's up with me? Well, recently I celebrated my 36th birthday. Yikes! I AM THIRTY FREAKING SIX! Where has the time gone? But then again, I'm not one to obsess about my age. So my birthday was pretty much a quiet event that came and went without much fanfare. I received an email from my good friend Tash and we were commiserating about how our birthdays this year (his is one day ahead of mine) were much quieter than previous birthdays. I had written to him saying that as we age, we probably become more subdued. His rationale is that maybe it is more of us being "just us" and that as we grow older, we tend to grow more into who we are rather than what everyone expects of us. SIGH. So true ... I definitely miss these kinds of talks with Tash =(

Anyway, my birthday consisted of dinner with Jojo's family the night before my birthday. I planned a Mexican themed dinner at home. I ordered Charo Fire Roasted Chicken, Mexican Rice, Soft Tortillas, their super delish homestyle salsa and a Mexican salad. On my end, I prepared Fiesta corn (which is basically shucked grilled corn with ham, onions, and red and green peppers. I had a pot of simmering black beans with Mexican seasoning. And I also had a make-it-yourself taco bar (soft and hard taco shells, ground beef, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, sour cream, salsa, and grated cheese. For dessert, I had ice cream and cake. It was a hit =)

On my actual birthday, co-workers took me to lunch at the Elephant Bar. Then for dinner, we met up with Atsi and Mark for dinner at Belaccan Grill (one of my favorite places!). It was a quiet weekend after that. Jojo kept asking me what I wanted for my birthday and there was honestly nothing I could think of! I guess I am lucky that way, huh? Seriously I could not think of a single thing I wanted to get. So my loving husband settled on getting me flowers and balloons ... but the bestest gift was him doting on me all weekend ... doing the dishes, doing the laundry, massaging my aching back and helping me decorate Beanie's room! Best birthday gifts ever! =)

Speaking of Beanie ... I'm almost 8 months preggers now. And my belly is HUGE. I don't know why I ever complained that it was small. These days, I have to be careful I don't tip over cause my belly is just so out there! It's not easy cause I have all sorts of aches and pains. Not to mention I am deathly afraid of stretch marks. But in many ways, it's still all good. I'm so excited cause I feel more movement now and I think Beanie is reacting more to external sounds. The other day, I swear she was dancing to music. I felt a thump-thump-thump every time I turned the car radio up. This happened at least 3 times! Who knew my baby girl would be a fan of Katy Perry's "California Girls"?

Anyway, these days we are excitedly planning the baby shower. I am excited! Here's a preview of the invitations that were sent out last week:

Hopefully all goes well. More on the shower in my next post.

Another Health Issue

2011-01-18T18:41:00.000-08:00

They say that during pregnancy most health issues are grossly heightened. For example, while on the family way, you are more susceptible to catching a cold and when you do, chances are the symptoms are much more severe. The same can be said for many other health issues. I should know since in the last few months, I have been to so many new doctors offices and have met with so many specialists for a variety of medical issues. I've been to my general practictioner countless times for the usual reasons. I've met with my OB-GYN regularly. I've met with a gentic OB-GYN a number of times for genetic counselling. I've seen a dermatologist for my hair issues and my hormone imbalance. I've visited two endocrinologists to get their opinions on my Polycistic Ovarian Syndrome. I've seen my eye doctor to get my vision checked this year and also my dentist for regular cleanings. I've also met with PAs (Physician Assistants) to monitor this and that - as well as a dozen or so lab technicians for countless blood, urine and glucose level tests. Not to mention meeting with medical technicians and nurses to monitor Beanie's fetal movement (or rather lack of movement!).

Today, I have to add a new "specialist" to my list. I have an appointment tomorrow to meet with a otolaryngologist. Doesn't that sound scary!? Actually I'm just meeting a ear, nose and throat specialist. As a result of my horrible cold about 3 weeks ago, I have a severely plugged up left ear. It's been on-going for almost a week. I thought if I waited it out, it would clear itself up. But apparently, it has not. Infact lately it seems to have gotten worse. I don't feel any pain at all and I can still hear out of my left ear. But it is so clogged up that I sort of feel I'm hearing things from inside a deep-sea tunnel. It's more irritating, if anything. So anyway, I saw my general practitioner today and she tried to irrigate it with warm water. No help at all. So I'm off to see a more highly trained ear doctor.

Every time I tell my husband about a new doctor I am seeing, he teases me about becoming a semi-hypochondriac. Well, maybe I am. But I firmly believe that it is better to be safe than sorry! Espcially now that I am pregnant, I think it is better to go see specialists to make sure that everything is going well and that nothing is done to harm our baby. All I can say is "thank god we have medical insurance and that I opted to take the PPO plan!". Here's hoping tomorrow's doctor visit goes well =)

Movement or Lack Of ...

2011-01-12T20:12:00.000-08:00

Jojo and I spent the entire morning at Torrance Memorial Hospital today. Let me reassure everyone that everything is fine now but but we did have a bit of a scare this morning. Allow me to bore you with the details ...

This morning I went in for my routine check-up with Dr. Chen. Luckily Jojo insisted on going with me, even if I repeatedly told him he didn't have to. Since today was just a basic check up - nothing else, not even an ultrasound, was planned, I told Jojo he could sit this one out. THANK GOD he was stubborn and insisted on going with me. The first part of the check up went smoothly (oh except for the fact that I found out I had gained 6 and a half pounds in the last 4 weeks! Shudder!). Anyway, during the consultation portion, Dr. Chen asked if I feel Jellybean move regularly (by "regularly" he meant at least three times during the hour after breakfast and three times during the hour after lunch - among other times). I told him that I feel flutters throughout the day (mostly at night) but no real "movements" and definitely not on schedule. Dr. Chen was concerned since at 7 months, I should be feeling more than flutters - he said I should feel little kicks and jabs - and they should be pretty regular throughout the day especially after meals. He then listened to Beanie's heart rate (which was normal). But as a precaution he made me go to the Labor & Delivery Dept of Torrance Memorial for additional tests. As usual, I got really nervous and paranoid, which is why I was so glad Jojo was with me. He is very calm and reassuring at times like these!

When we arrived at the hospital, the nursing aides were really helpful. After a few minutes wait, I was sent to the testing room and had to undergo a non-stress test to listen for fetal movement. Since it was my first time, I was hooked up to this machine that read my baby's heart rate and recorded her movements. I had to stay hooked up for 2 hours so they could get a baseline rate. Everything looked normal - Beanie's heart rate was great and she was moving - only I could not feel anything. The doctor-in-charge ordered an ultrasound for me. The ultrasound showed everything was ok - Beanie was the right size and the right position. She was moving and her heart rate was strong too. Lastly, I did a quick urine test and we waited for the results with baited breath.

My nurse, Natalie, and Dr. Chen came by to tell us that basically it boils down to three things: 1.) my placenta is located in the front of my uterus (sorry for being so descriptive) which makes feeling Bean's movements hard. 2.) Bean does not move "on schedule". And 3.) most of Bean's movements are in the late afternoon / evenings (which explains why I am tired at the end of the day and am restless at night). Natalie said we have a "night baby" which may also mean she will be keeping us up at night! Uh-oh.

I am sort of relieved but not quite - only because monitoring Jellybean's activity is now doubly hard (I have to be super sensitive) and jot everything down in a journal. Keep track of any movement as best as I can. And if anything changes (drastically increased or decreased movement) we should head over to the hospital - ASAP! I mean, having them tell me to come in whenever I feel apprehension is great but having to go through these tests every single time is pretty nerve-wracking too!

Fifth Letter

2011-01-10T12:53:00.001-08:00

Dear Beanie,

Happy 29th week – only about 9 to 11 weeks to go! I’ll be honest, the thought does make me a little nervous … but only because there seems to be so much left to do to prepare for your arrival. Plus the fact that the whole birthing process kinda scares me somewhat. But other than that, I am so darn excited to have you come be with us already!

Last Saturday, your dad and I went to Babies R Us to register for your baby shower. I was excited since shopping for registries is always fun. Little did we know, it would take us the entire morning (about 3 hours). And when decided to call it a day, we were only about a quarter done. It took us that long to pick out a stroller, car seat, booster seat, and a swing set. The reason it took us so long is because there was so many things to consider and so many choices to choose from! Talk about information overload. Take the choice for strollers – we had to decide if we wanted a full stroller, a mid-sized stroller, a light-weight stroller, a jogger stroller, or a convertible stroller (car seat and stroller in one). Then, when we decided what kind we wanted, we had about 100 choices and had to narrow that down by reading a ton of consumer reports and user reviews. Next we had to compare features, prices, and actual dimensions. Then we had to see the actual model and try it out (opening, closing, lifting, assembling and pretending to push it around). Our next step was picking what style, color and finish we wanted. Lastly, we had to make sure the stroller we picked was available in-store and online. Whew! We spent about an hour picking just the right stroller for you … your dad and I went back and forth. My main concern was how much use we would get out of it, how attractive it was (we want you to be a stylish baby after all!), and whether it was easy to assemble and use. Your dad was concerned about how heavy it was (he is the one doing the lifting after all), the safety features and the consumer reports. After an hour and getting the sales staff involved in our debate, we finally decided to compromise on one. We hope you like what we chose!

Speaking of your registry, we’ve been shopping for that since your baby shower is coming up. I’m so excited for that too. The shower is going to be on Feb. 5th and is being hosted by your aunts – Tracy, Marik, Len, Edel, Cha and Atsi Jen. They are still trying to confirm the place to accommodate about 60 guests. I know it seems like a lot of people – I’m not even sure how that number came up. We started with just family, a few close friends, co-workers, etc. By the time we finished our list we had about 80+ guests (we figure only 60 will actually come)! 80+ guests - that’s not even counting your aunts and uncles in Manila and in other places – just the ones that are here! That just goes to show how many people are so excited to meet you, Beanie.

The last few weeks have been relatively easy for me in terms of my pregnancy. I can’t really complain about anything other than the fact that my belly is quite big now. I am now wearing my maternity clothes (my regular clothes just won’t zip up anymore – not even with the pregnancy band). It’s ok though – to be honest, I kind of enjoy all the pregnancy attention I am getting. These days, I officially look pregnant and not just like I ate too much! It’s also a little bit weird to look down and see just my belly (I can’t see my toes anymore). Other than that, I have a few backaches once in a while and sometimes have difficulty finding a comfortable position when sleeping. But nothing major to complain about! Over the holidays, I caught a really bad cold and it was really hard for me since I couldn’t take any kind of medication (other than over-the-counter Tylenol which did not alleviate any of the cold symptoms). It was probably the worst 10 days of my pregnancy since I had a bad sore throat, a stuffy nose, constant coughing and a horrible headache. Your dad was extremely solicitous in taking care of me – even if I was a probably the world’s worst patient cause I was constantly complaining and was as cranky as a bear! Luckily I survived and am now feeling much better. I had a bit of a scare too last week since I was asked to re-take my gestational diabetes test. My first test came out a bit high and I had to go back and do the second screening. I am just so glad that the results are ok and I do not have gestational diabetes. Whew! So far, everything is going fine.

So, in a nutshell, that’s what’s been up with me in regards to you. Everything is going just fine, Bean. Your dad and I are just so thrilled that these days you are more active and moving around much more. I think it just means you are getting a bit anxious and are definitely getting ready to come on out. YAY! See you REALLY soon! =)

New Year's Eve

2011-01-01T17:01:00.000-08:00

Last night we celebrated New Year's Eve at Marik's place. We had dinner with the family and settled in to watch a DVD while waiting for midnight. Unfortunately Jojo and I could not stay the entire evening as we are both still recovering from colds. We left around 9:30. I got to talk to my family in Manila for a while and then we pretty much continued with our mini New Year's Eve celebration at home - just the three of us - Jojo, me and Beanie! =)

Some pics from the dinner at Marik's place:

My nieces in their New Year's polka dot dresses: Maddie, Faye, Dani, MJ, Sydney and Meredith =)

My nephews: Jeremy, Jorel and Elroy =)

The Ordinario family (we're almost complete)!

The Year That Was

2010-12-31T09:45:00.000-08:00

Now that 2010 is coming to a close, let me reflect on the year that was ... In some ways 2010 just breezed right by, but on some level it also seemed to go by so slowly at times. There were lots of big moments and also several little moments that will make this a memorable year. 2010 was an exciting year for me - being the Year of the Tiger (and my being born a Tiger), this year held such promise and it did deliver!

I started the year celebrating in Manila which is always good. I loved being able to spend time with my family and in our home. Something about the familiarity of it all will always make Manila the home in my heart - no matter how long I am away or how much I love my second home in Torrance, Manila will always be the place I consider my safe haven. Earlier in the year, I didn't have a job and just focused on rejuvenating myself. I used to hate being alone and not having anything to do - but as I have gotten older I find I am so much more comfortable in my own skin and find pleasure in having time just for myself. I did enjoy discovering my inner homemaker too (who knew I had it in me?).

I found a new job at a local company. I've written tons about my job and again it is not the most prestigious nor the most challenging. But honestly, it is one where I find the perfect balance of feeling good and doing good while "going to work". It is probably not the best position in terms of climbing the corporate ladder but it definitely feels right for me for right now.

We had the biggest blessing that I consider as the most life-changing moment of the entire year. It was finding out that I had a little baby Bean growing inside me. After 5 and a half years of marriage and almost 4 years of trying to conceive, we were blown away by the fact that we were blessed with such a miracle. It's been a sort of rollercoaster ride since then - ups and downs along the way - but in all honestly it is a ride that I am so glad to be on and can't wait to see through. Being pregnant is also a blessing to our marriage, on many levels, I truly feel more connected to Jojo and I know he feels closer to me too.

There were lots of little but significant moments too. This year we celebrated the one year since my dad's passing. While it is still very hard for me to come to grips with the fact that he is now in heaven, I find that I am strangely calm and more accepting of what has happened. It is still by no means easy but I think I am over being angry and depressed about it all. I know dad probably has a hand in making all this just a wee bit easier. This year my brother-in-law, Jay, got married which was a big highlight too. He is the last of Jojo's 6 siblings to tie the knot and we were all really happy and excited for his and Cha's big day. This year Jojo found a new job which has been both a blessing and a challenge. It was a growing point in his career and he has truly found out much about himself in the process. I am glad to be able to be beside him to offer him my support and encouragement. This year my father-in-law had a minor stroke which was scary and sad. But it also allowed us all to reconnect better as a family and in many ways brought me closer to my in-laws. 2010 has brought us a slew of visitors and guests - which we welcomed into our home. It is always nice reconnecting with good friends who I have not been in touch with in a while.

There have been a host of other special events ... birthdays, engagements, anniversaries, babies and kids, trips and travel, new experiences and adventures, facing challenges, learning new things, dealing with frustrations, and just moments and days that don't seem to mean anything at that time but later turn out to be defining moments. It has been a truly good year for me and I am very grateful. I can only hope that 2011 will be just as great for me and everyone else.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Xmas (2010)

2010-12-28T16:13:00.000-08:00

I would have posted Xmas pictures sooner but I have two good reasons why I am so delayed this year. First, Jojo and I were both down with the flu on Xmas eve, Xmas day and actually till today (and it's already the 28th). Today is actually the first day I feel some semblance of returning to "normalcy". It's hard since I have not been able to take any meds to alleviate the stuffy nose, sore throat and coughing. All I can take is regular Tylenol or the generic brands which don't really help all that much. But enough about that. The second reason is I don't have that many pics to share. When we looked at the few pics we have on our camera, most of them were shots of the food and presents rather than people! Jojo and I were the hosts this year and so we didn't have much time to gather people for photos. I'll have to wait for my in-laws to post their pics and borrow their copies then =) So, anyway, here are a few pics we have for now:

Christmas Eve was spent with my in-laws. After Xmas mass at St. Margaret Mary's we met at our place. This is one of my few photos with "people". Jojo's family has a strict tradition that presents are only opened at midnight and we only get to eat noche buena after that. We had to while away the time watching DVDs, snacking on finger foods, and playing games. Not easy to keep a group of 23 people (9 of them kids) entertained! But it was fun trying =)

The guys hanging around waiting for us to start with another game (I think this time we were going to play charades). Notice how no one is looking at the camera ... getting a decent group shot is like herding cats!

At around 11:30, we started setting the table. The star of our noche buena was this 8-pound Honeybaked ham. I had to order this 2 weeks ago otherwise it was sold out. But it was worth it cause it was so good! And I mean SOOO GOOOD! I served the ham with horseradish mayo, plain mayo, and and dijon mustard.

I also had a basket of warm, fluffy pan de sal which was perfect with the ham. These are my favorites. I get them from a local Filipino bakery called Valerios. They are super cheap $2.00 for 16 pieces - but really good and taste like the ones back home!

My sisters-in-law also brought their share of food. Marik, brought fresh lumpia (which was super yummy!) and suman with latik. Not pictured is the roasted chickens (Tracy brought), the big pot of sopas (Len brought) and the two whole baked salmons (Cha brought).

Here are the famous Porto's cheese rolls and pastries that Edel brought. Plus for dessert, we also had a huge bowl of fruit salad (not pictured).

Look at all those Xmas presents ... we had to stash them in the garage since there wouldn't be any space to walk around if we kept them in the living room. There were even more presents under the tree! Who says Xmas is just for kids? We, adults, had our fair share too!

On Xmas day, we were suppose to meet Atsi and Mark for lunch but because we were feeling so out of it that day, we had to postpone lunch to the 26th. We met mid-way for lunch at Todai. We exchanged presents and food (I made them a tray of baked macaroni and they got us our favorite pumpernickel bread which Atsi's gets from a local bakery near their place).

Here is a shot of Atsi and I in front of the mall. We are waiting for the guys before heading inside to do some shopping. Notice how much bigger I am than Atsi (who's always been so tiny!).

So that was our holiday celebration here. Merry Christmas from Jojo, me and Jellybean! (I am 27 weeks along in this picture).

Life Lessons

2010-12-19T21:18:00.000-08:00

There are two very significant moments in my life that have helped me learn and adhere to two very significant lessons.

The two significant moments are:
1.) Working for the "Bank" from 2006-2008 where I was literally a slave to money and under so much stress my health and my personal life were deteriorating; and
2.) My dad's illness and untimely passing.

The two significant lessons are:
1.) Having a job is important as it shapes who you are professionally and personally but no job is worth being stressed all the time, getting sick over, and losing sleep for; and
2.) A huge salary, prestige, great benefits can only hold a person's interest for so long - there will come a time when you realize it is not worth it.

My hubby is learning these lessons on his own and during this time, I just want him to know that I support him and am behind him one hundred and one percent!

6th Wedding Anniv

2010-12-18T20:14:00.000-08:00

Tonight we celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary ... Jojo took me to dinner ... we went to Ruth's Chris restaurant in Anaheim. We've been wanting to eat at Ruth's Chris for the longest time since we've been hearing all sorts of rave reviews about their steaks. Tonight, we thought it would be the perfect way to celebrate our anniversary. Here we are at the entrance (wish I could have taken a shot of the building's exterior since it was quite nice but I didn't want to seem too "touristy"!). Anyway, here's me, Jojo and Jellybean in my big, preggy belly!

Sorry I don't have shots of the interior as well. Again, too bad since the place was really nice and we had a beautiful corner table overlooking the city. But since it was such a NICE place, I didn't want to look way too eager by snapping pictures! =)

After looking over the menu, we ordered and I started with the seafood gumbo. It was very rich and had lovely pieces of shrimp, lump crab, andouille sausage and veggies. It was also quite hearty and a perfect way to warm up on a cold, rainy evening!

Jojo had the House Salad with a lemon basil dressing. It was creamy but at the same time very light too.

Finally, the wait is over! USDA Prime - Ribeye steaks - medium well. We were told that in the US only 3% of beef is categorized as USDA Prime. That made us really excited to try these steaks. They were served on plates that were warmed to 500-degrees (to ensure that from the first bite to the last, our steaks would stay warm). The meat was aged to perfection and only marinated with salt, pepper and some butter - but it was AMAZING! Succulent, savory, tender and just incredibly delicious. Need I say more?

We had creamy mashed potatoes and creamed spinach as our sides. They were good but nothing great. But then again, I guess people don't really go to Ruth's Chris for the sides =)

Here we are getting ready to dig in! Let me just tell you, that first bite was heavenly!

And to cap off the evening, we had a mixed berry cheesecake and chocolate barks ... plus they served us a special raspberry sorbet in a chocolate cup just cause it's our anniversary. =) It was a perfect way to cap off a perfect dinner!

Thanks so much for dinner, Ni. Happy 6th Anniversary and looking forward to many, many more to come! I love you very much =)

Maternity Tour

2010-12-13T19:13:00.000-08:00

Yesterday Jojo and I joined 5 other couples as we attended a tour and orientation held at the Torrance Memorial Hospital maternity ward. We started the afternoon with some snacks and then the rest of the hour was spent meeting the nursing staff, listening to important details, getting familiar with the various procedures, and visiting the labor/delivery room, the NICU, the operating room, and the mommy & baby recovery room.

It was a nice experience and I really appreciated getting a peek at what's going to happen on our big day. The maternity floor at Torrance Memorial was also very nicely decorated (tasteful both for mommies and babies). Everyone seemed very efficient but at the same time the staff were all really super supportive and very accommodating. They literally have thought of everything to make our hospital stay as convenient and stress-free as possible. Everything seemed very clean and almost sterile without losing out on warmth and homeyness.

I also loved how strict the were with making sure everything was clean and secure. They had all these measures in place to make sure no one could walk away with our baby or switch babies by mistake. With all the labor-related things I have been thinking about, that has not even crossed my mind, so I was really glad that they had that part covered.

Also, the procedures were all super duper efficient - each room had a nurse assigned (as well as roving nurses that were on hand to assist further). There are specialists available 24/7 (for both the mommy's and the baby's care). Everything was very state of the art. I really felt at ease with how everything was described despite all my apprehensions. I felt very reassured and calmed by the whole experience. And as an added bonus we got lots of freebies to take home after wards - that's always nice! =)

We are pretty much decided to have Beanie over at Torrance Memorial but just for comparison's sake, we are also doing the "Tea and Tour" over the Little Company of Mary Providence Hospital next month. That is also a really nice facility so it can't hurt to go have a look. After all, we only want the very best for our baby girl =)

Fourth Letter

2010-12-05T15:18:00.000-08:00

Dear Jellybean,

Happy 24th week my darling baby girl! Your 24th week is actually tomorrow but since I have this Sunday afternoon off ... I thought I would get a headstart in writing this letter. As I type this letter to you, your dad is in your nursery applying a second coat of white paint to the crownmolding. He is being quite anal about getting every nook and cranny! Everything is starting to come together rather nicely. Two weeks ago, your Auntie Jenny and Uncle Mark came over and together we painted your room a happy shade of yellow. It's called Pale Daffodil and it looks like a beautiful burst of sunshine has spilled into the nursery.

Uncle Mark also re-did your closet floors (removing the carpet and installing wood laminate) while Auntie Jenny made sure all your cabinets and shelves are spic and span. It's now ready to be filled with all your clothes and toys! Your furniture has arrived also but we are holding off on putting it together just yet. Maybe over the Xmas holidays when your Tito Lee and Tito Jay come over to help your dad assemble everything.

Things have been going rather well this 2nd trimester. My only concern these last few days is I have not felt you move at all. I've been reading countless baby books and websites - most of them say it is normal to feel flutters starting around the 18th to 22nd week. Since tomorrow is the start of my 24h week, I am obsessing about why I have not felt you move at all. Your dad is convinced that I am being overly paranoid. I can't help it! I desperately want to know you are ok. I shared my concerns with your Aunties ... all of them reassured me that every pregnancy is different and some babies are just felt moving at a later time. Auntie Tracy said she didn't feel Sydney move till her 28th week while Auntie Len said she only felt Jeremy move in her 7th month.

I am somewhat relieved ... Then this morning, I think I did feel you move ... I felt a very subtle movement in my lower belly. Kind of like air bubbles in my tummy. I lay very still and placed my hands over the same area but I felt nothing. I gently wiggled my belly and there was another subtle flutter. I was so excited I yelled for your dad to come - he did - but apparently you were done moving for the day. Even after I wiggled my belly a few more times, I didn't feel anything anymore. I think that was your way of telling us to stop waking you up from your sleep! =) I guess I will just have to try and be patient, Bean, and wait for you to move when you are good and ready.

I've been reading the Pregnancy.com website where they track the weekly average size and weight of babies throughout the pregnancy. This 24th week you are over a pound in weight and around 12 inches in length (from your head to your toes). This is so amazing. An honest to goodness miracle! And you truly are! Let me tell you why, Bean. Last March 2010, I was diagnosed with an "illness" (well, not really an "illness" but for lack of a better word, I'll just use "illness" for now). Anyway, this "illness" that I had made having a baby almost impossible. I was so sad and depressed then. But when we conceived you three months later, I thought I had overcome the "illness". About 2 weeks ago, I saw another doctor who was convinced that I still have the "illness" (and will be treated for it after I deliver you). So while I know that every baby conceived is a miracle, your conception is an even greater miracle because you were conceived despite me being "ill". You are truly our miracle baby! I can not thank the Heavens enough for sending you to us.

I pray that you continue to grow strong and healthy. And I continue to wait excitedly for the day we will finally get to meet.

Love you, Beanie!

SIDE NOTE: Beanie actually made her presence felt that very night! As Jojo and I were lying down, watching tv, I felt a light jab on my lower belly. One, two, three jabs and it stopped. I thought I imagined it. After a few seconds, there it was again. One, two, three! By the 2nd jab, I actually grabbed Jojo's hand and placed in on my belly and he felt the third jab! I wanted to make sure I wasn't imagining it or just willing it to happen. Jojo confirmed it though - Beanie was definitely letting us know she was up and about!

Other Weird Things

2010-12-02T19:04:00.000-08:00

Here are a few other weird things I am experiencing during this stage of pregnancy. (Well maybe "weird" isn't the right word, but rather some "unusual" things that are going on with me):

1.) These days I get sleepy really early (I can actually go to bed at 9 PM!) but for no discernible reason I wake up between 4 and 4:30 AM and am unable to sleep for the next two hours. I don't wake up cause I'm in any sort of pain, nor do I need to go to the bathroom. Actually there is nothing that happens at that time but like clockwork I wake up and can not sleep again till around 6 AM. Jojo and I are convinced that it's Jellybean's way of letting me know she's awake and wants some time with me. So while Jojo sleeps, I talk to Bean, pray with her, listen to Baby Einstein, or read baby books. This has been going on for the last 2 weeks.

2.) I am still not wearing maternity clothes (they are still too loose) but can not fit into most of my regular clothes either. So I'm kind of in-between and wearing my "fat clothes". Thank God I am pregnant during the Fall/Winter season when layering is in!

3.) I am hot all the time. "Hot" as in "feeling warm" and not "hot" as in "sexy!". These days the weather is SUPER COLD - let me illustrate by describing what Jojo wears to bed the last few nights. He's in thick jogging pants, a shirt, a long-sleeved sweatshirt, and sports socks. He's in bed with a fleece blanket and a down comforter. Plus we have a mini-heater on his side of the room. I on the other hand am in regular cotton pajamas (short-sleeved) and am content with just the blanket (half the time I have to kick it off at night cause I get too warm). Another reason I am grateful to be pregnant during the Fall/Winter season.

4.) I get some mild headaches at the end of the day (they last anywhere between 30 minutes to a few hours). They are not bad headaches but noticeable. We think it's just me getting tired from work. The headaches are usually gone by the time we have dinner and get ready for bed. Also, Jojo has been learning acupressure and has been massaging my palm and it really helps! We're going to see my eye doctor this weekend just to be sure though.

5.) My tummy and breast area get INCREDIBLY ITCHY! I am constantly lathering with moisturizing lotion and talcum powder just to relieve the itch. I've been told it is because my body is stretching to accommodate the baby. That thought makes me happy but I can't say it helps with relieving itchiness.

6.) My falling hair seems to have abated somewhat or rather it is no longer concentrated in just one area anymore ... I'll post more on this in a separate entry. Much to talk about but still need a few more "tests"/ doctor visits to be sure.

7.) And as I mentioned in my last blog entry, I find myself very emotional lately. Not in a hysterical, overly-dramatic way ... but rather in a mushy, sentimental kind of way =)

As the days, weeks, months go by, things keep changing and my body goes through these strange phases ... pregnancy sure is interesting!

Getting All Emotional

2010-11-30T19:52:00.000-08:00

My pregnancy hormones are going wacko these days. Yesterday I found myself crying while watching a late night country music concert on tv. It was hardly heart-wrenching after all it was was country music artists singing carols but it brought on the waterworks! This morning, I again started to tear up as I listened to Nat King Cole sing "I'll Be Home for Christmas" on the radio while driving to work. I don't know why ... and with no warning whatsoever I just got goosebumpy and tingly and then the tears just start flowing. I had to reassure my co-workers that I was okay when I walked in the office with puffy eyes. And just this evening, Jojo was being extra nice to me (he offered to make dinner AND wash the dishes afterwards) since I had a slight headache, well, you would think he offered me one of his kidneys the way I started feeling all weepy and emotional. I think Jojo did start to think I was acting a bit strange. It's sort of funny since I don't really consider myself the mushy / sentimental type. I do get emotional at times but it takes a lot to make me burst into tears. These days, well, it just seems to happen so randomly and so often. I can be sitting at mass listening to the homily and find myself moved to tears. That has happened on more than one occasion. Or it could be me just sitting quietly, reading baby books and when I think about my very own Jellybean, I can actually will myself to cry. It is kind of weird, funny and strange, all at the same time =)

My List of Things I am Thankful For ...

2010-11-25T08:27:00.000-08:00

I have much to write about ... but will reserve that post for another day. Instead, today I choose to be positive and focus on the things I am THANKFUL for. Where do I begin? There are so many things I am grateful for - here are my top 20:

1.) First and most of all, I am so thankful for this beautiful baby we have been blessed with. Sometimes, just thinking about Jellybean makes me feel all weepy with joy. Call it pregnancy hormones, I like to think of it as my very own miracle.

2.) My husband, Jojo. I truly can not think of anyone that is so perfect for me in every way. He has made the last 11 years we have been together absolutely amazing!

3.) My mom. They say that when you get older (or become a mom yourself), you get to realize just how awesome your own mom is! That is 100% true. I have the bestest mom in the world who has been a true inspiration to me.

4.) My brothers and sisters - most especially my sisters (Atsi and Joy) have been incredibly supportive of me ever since but most especially now during my pregnancy. I am so lucky because I'm blessed not only with siblings but also best friends.

5.) My in-laws. I can't get over how supportive and thoughtful they all have been. From my parents-in-law to all 12 of my brothers and sisters-in-law. Yes, that makes 14 in-laws all together! Not to mention my 12 nieces and nephews! And also, my other brother-in-law, Mark, and his amazing ability to fix things around the house. He did a super job on the nursery closet!

6.) My aunts and uncles (at least the ones that still matter). I am grateful to know they are supportive of me and my family. Special thanks to Uncle Junior and Auntie Lillian for their support during my pregnancy.

7.) My friends both here and in Manila (and actually around the world). I don't get to see them often nor do we get to talk all that much. But despite the hustle and bustle of life, I know that they are there when I need them.

8.) Having a beautiful home that I am proud of - and a newly painted nursery that just lifts my spirits every time I walk into the room.

9.) Having a job that I actually enjoy going to every single day. It's not the best job, nor is it the most prestigious and high-paying one. But I enjoy working there and get a lot of satisfaction from the kind of work that I do.

10.) My colleagues and my boss. I work with some of the quirkiest people around and it makes every day pretty exciting. You can be sure there is never a dull moment when we're all together!

11.) Our health - although Jojo and I have a few issues here and there - overall we are blessed with good health that allows us to enjoy our lives together.

12.) My guama. She was very important to me when I was growing up and she continues to be an important person in my life. I don't get to see her these days but I am comforted knowing she is healthy and well.

13.) Having enough money to buy what we need but not too much money that we lose ourselves in it. I love knowing we have enough to indulge ourselves once in a while but I also love the fact that I can live on a budget (and don't need crazy expensive things to make me happy!).

14.) Having an awesome OB-GYN. Dr. Chen is truly one of the best doctors ever! I wish all doctors were as reassuring, caring and knowledgeable as he is! I am so glad that I found him.

15.) Pre-thanksgiving online sales that have allowed us to get a beautiful crib and dresser set for almost half the price (compared to retail stores). I absolutely love bargains!

16.) Facebook and the internet that have made the world a smaller place and have helped keep everyone in contact!

17.) I am thankful to have the holiday spirit in the air! It truly is starting to feel like Christmas. The temps have dipped down low, there are Xmas carols everywhere, and everyone just seems to be in high spirits!

18.) A 4-day weekend to spend with my husband and our family. Nothing planned but lots of things in-store!

19.) An awesome second trimester - with no more morning sickness and weird cravings. I am also equally thankful that so far things have been going so well with my pregnancy. Looking forward to the last 3 and 1/2 months! Here we go ...

20.) Having my dad as my very own guardian angel. These days I find so much comfort in having him near and knowing he is watching over Jellybean.

For these twenty things and so much more ... I am truly thankful.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!

The Name Game

2010-11-16T21:39:00.000-08:00

After polling our immediate family and several close friends (that are considered part of the family), we have come up with a final tally of votes for our baby girl's name. There were three choices ... (See my earlier post entitled "Third Letter" (last Nov. 7th) for a brief explanation of how we came up with the three favorites). Honestly, we love all three names almost equally - Jojo has his favorite and I have mine. But overall, we would be very happy and very proud to have Jellybean carry any of the names. Which is kind of why we decided to poll people ... we could not bring ourselves to decide on one on our own.

Anyway, it was a pretty tight race. The first round went to "Julianna Elise" as it was a clear favorite among my nieces (and I have 7 of them!). Then the votes swung in favor of "Jodie Helene" as my in-laws rallied around that name. "Jamie Gabrielle" also emerged as a winner when we heard from my family as most of them I knew wanted to honor my dad. In the end, after much see-sawing back and forth, well, there is still no clear winner as we have emerged with a TIE!

Final count:

Julianna Elise - 10 votes
Jodie Helene - 13 votes
Jamie Gabrielle - 13 votes

So we know for sure that Jellybean will be named after her grandmothers ... or in honor of my dad and archangel Gabriel. For those that have not voted ... feel free to throw in your two cents worth. We will definitely consider those votes too. However, we thought we would ask my guama to make the final decision and be the ultimate tie-breaker ... we'll see if she agrees =)

So, for now, stay tuned ... we don't have a name picked out YET but we are getting closer! =)

Personal Dilemma

2010-11-14T18:17:00.000-08:00

I am going through a personal dilemma at this time. It has nothing to do with work (to be honest, that's been going pretty well lately). It has nothing to do with decorating the nursery (although shopping for furniture has been taking a LOT of my time lately - there's is just so much choice that it's kinda overwhelming). It has nothing to do with my pregnancy (well, maybe it kinda does, somewhat). Anyway, let me start at the beginning.

Last 2008 while I was in Manila, I noticed I had a lot of falling hair. (Yes, my dilemma has to do with my hair!). Anyway, I attributed the falling hair to stress (I just recently quit a very stressful job and was going through a tough time with my dad's illness). In 2009, the falling hair continued even if it was a less stressful year. During my Xmas visit to Manila, my Auntie Rose brought me to the clinic of Dr. Alan Ong a well-known hair expert from Australia. Dr. Ong prescribed some extra vitamins, a shampoo and a topical hair solution that I had to massage into my scalp twice a day. I was assured these were natural medicines and so I religiously applied them for the next 5 months. They actually worked - I did feel the thinning had decreased.

In May of this year, I ran out of the meds and asked my mom to send me some from Manila. She sent them through my Auntie June who arrived early July. By that time, I had a "feeling" I was pregnant and so even if I had the meds, I chose not to apply them since my doctor told me it would be better not to because of my condition. So I stopped - cold turkey. The next few months - the falling hair started up again but nothing alarming. However, by the end of Sept. I noticed a significant loss again. I consulted with Dr. Chen, my OB-GYN, who assured me that falling hair, although not typical during pregnancy was normal because hormones are out of whack.

By the end of October, I noticed I was starting to develop a slight bald spot on the crown of my head (nothing too hideous and not noticeable when I styled my hair - but there is no denying it was there - and it seemed to be growing too!). This started to scare me so I made another appointment with Dr. Chen and discussed the problem with him. This time, he thought it may be better to go see a hair/skin specialist (Dr. Wilson). I met with Dr. Wilson last week.

To be honest, Dr. Wilson could not tell why I was losing hair - especially in the crown area of my head. He ruled out alopecia areata and other possible diseases. His only idea was a type of female pattern baldness. This was a bit scary! But he was optimistic that we could still do something about it. HERE LIES MY DILEMMA: Dr. Wilson prescribed a mild-potency topical medicine (a gel-like substance called Luxiq) that needs to be applied to the affected area twice a day. The medicine is very mild (according to Dr. Wilson). He assured me it would be ok to use since I was already well into my 2nd trimester (although he did say if I was in my first trimester, he probably would not prescribe this). I was relly doubtful and asked if he could check with my OB GYN just to make sure. So while I was waiting in his office, Dr. Wilson called Dr. Chen. I was told that Dr. Chen gave his ok too for me to use the medicine. But later when I went home and did my own research on Lixiq, my fears were not allayed. There was not enough medical data or studies done on pregnant women to assure it would be safe for the baby.

I am so torn up about this. On the one hand, this losing my hair issue is really driving me crazy. I honestly feel like it is all I can think about these days (okay, maybe that's an exaggeration ... but you know what I mean). I am really so upset not knowing if this is temporary or if it will progress even further. It is so frustrating. On the other hand, I can not risk using the medicine and harming Jellybean. I am scared that it may hurt her or may cause her to get sick. I honestly don't know what the effects would be. Jojo has been so supportive but I can tell he's at a loss too. He knows I am bothered by this and wants me to be happy but I know he worries about the baby too. So far, I have not used the medicine. I keep thinking about Jellybean and can not bring myself to use it. Am I being paranoid? Weird? Overly dramatic? or just plain stupid? Sigh.

A Peek at the Nursery

2010-11-11T11:48:00.000-08:00

We're getting ready to fix up the nursery. My brother-in-law, Mark, offered to help us paint the nursery. My other brothers-in-law (Jay, Lee, Roy and Jojo) have been contracted to help put the furniture together. My mom has generously offered to buy the crib and chest set as a gift to her first ever apo. And Jojo is ready to crack open his wallet to pay for everything else for our unica hija. I've done nothing but window shop at stores and online the last few days getting everything in order. We are ready!

Here is the theme of our nursery:

I chose yellow (actually it's called Pale Sunlight) for the primary color. I wanted a bright, sunny room for our baby girl. I shy away from princess themes in shades of bubblegum pink (honestly, I got a headache looking at all that pink!). I also wanted bright accent colors that make the room attractive but charming all at the same time. And who does not love butterflies? They just make the room seem so happy =)

I am so excited to start working on the room. We are setting aside the Thanksgiving Weekend to get some serious work started! =)

Third Letter

2010-11-07T07:30:00.000-08:00

Dear Jellybean,

Happy 5th month! Boy, time sure is flying by these days. In just 4 more months (more or less ... and I am definitely hoping it's the latter), we get to finally meet you. We are sooo excited! We have your latest sonogram picture posted on the fridge and every day I walk by and see your beautiful face. I know most people say that all babies look alike, especially in their sonogram pictures, but I can already make out some of your features (maybe this is just me and my active imagination). But irregardless, I just know in my heart that you are beautiful!

We've been making so many preparations for your arrival. Shopping for furniture, decorating your nursery, and endless planning with any one and every one for when you finally come join us. One of the biggest preps is coming up with your name. Both your dad and I want to make sure we give you a special name that will let the whole world know just how special you really are. After thinking and praying long and hard, we have come up with three favorites:

1.) JULIANNA ELISE (because these have been two of my most favorite names since forever). I love how both names sound so charming and romantic.
2.) JODIE HELENE (because we would love for you to be named after both your grandmothers - my mom's name is Judy and your dad's mom's name is Helen. We think it would be wonderful to have you named after the two most important mothers in our lives.)
3.) JAMIE GABRIELLE - (because we wanted you to be named after two special "angels". My dad's name is James and I am positive he is now your very own, special angel and of course guardian angel Gabriel, who I have been praying to to keep you safe).

My personal favorites are Julianna and Jamie while your dad favors Jodie. We sort of got stuck for a while and decided that since we would like to share raising you with our immediate families, then they should get to vote on your name too.

So far, the results have been:
1.) Julianna Elise - 8 votes
2.) Jodie Helene - 10 votes
3.) Jamie Gabrielle - 5 votes

Your grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins on your dad's side came over for dinner last night to vote. We are still waiting for my side to cast their vote (that's 6 more additional uncounted votes) and of course your Uncle Ogie, Auntie Vange and cousins in Manila have yet to be polled. So it's pretty much still anything goes in terms if your name. But we thought the whole process of naming you has made you feel more real and closer to us. And has brought you closer to your immediate family too. Everyone is just so darned excited to meet you! And remember, no matter what name we give you, just know you will always be special and always be loved.

See you soon my little Bean!

Wonderful News

2010-11-02T20:42:00.000-07:00

Today, Jojo and I were at the Magella Medical Center for my final ultrasound at the lab. We were both extra excited because today was also the day we were going to find out the gender of our baby. Jojo and I waited with bated breath as the technician started the ultrasound procedure and went over each of Jellybean's features and parts - identifying each one. She started with the head, the brain, the face, the heart, the spine, the internal organs, the arms, hands, fingers, and skipped over to the legs, feet and toes. She told us every part of Jellybean was perfectly forming and the absolute right size. Everything was going so smoothly. Finally, after Jojo asked for the fifth time about gender, she pronounced "It's a baby girl!".

A BABY GIRL! I know that "happiness" is an emotion but I honestly felt actual physical manifestations. My tummy tingled, my breathing quickened, tears of joy came to my eyes, and I felt chilly all over upon hearing the news. Jojo got to his feet and came to stand by me and had the hugest grin on his face. He was thrilled to hear the news and later said "baby girl, you rock my world". Hahaha! We are, of course, thrilled to have a healthy baby but also thrilled to know we are having a little princess come join our family. Jojo kept saying "I'm going to have a daddy's girl!".

A few minutes after my ultrasound, the technician had a doctor come in to confirm the tests and he concurred saying "it is a girl". So unless there is some huge mistake or a miracle that changes things, it looks like we're having a daughter. Isn't that wonderful??? I can't think of any way that this day could get any better!

3 Day Separation

2010-10-29T13:49:00.001-07:00

Last Wednesday, Jojo left for a three day work trip to Scottsdale. This is certainly not the first time Jojo and I have spent time apart. When I used to work for a consulting firm and then the bank, I travelled for work all the time. Likewise, Jojo had to take a few work related trips in the past. Then of course, when I would go home to Manila, Jojo and I would be apart too. And then the times I travelled around the US with my family and Jojo would either stay behind or just catch up a few days later. Those are days when we would be temporarily separated too. But the biggest difference about this 3-day “separation” is the fact that I am pregnant and for some reason my hormones are out of whack. This means, I have been dreading having my husband gone for three days and have been missing him a lot while he has been away.

There’s a Filipino belief called “paglilihi” which basically means a pregnant woman is craving something. Usually food. The most common is wanting to eat green mangoes and “bagoong” (shrimp paste). I guess this is quite similar to Western women craving pickles and ice cream when they are expecting a baby. But in the Filipino culture, “paglilihi” could go beyond just plain old food cravings. You could actually “lihi” towards something or someone. It could be really wanting to be around certain scents, certain things, certain people. In my case, one of my Filipino co-workers actually said she thought I was “naglilihi” with my husband. Which is kinda sorta true. While Jojo and I have a great relationship where we like to be together and do things with each other … these days I do notice that it is more true than usual. We spend our entire weekend together (hanging out at home, going out with family and friends, and even doing chores around the house together). On weekdays, we breakfast together, go to work, have lunch together, go back to work, then come home and make dinner together, before going for our evening strolls. We then watch tv together and say our prayers as a couple. It may be a little strange to be together so much but these days this “togetherness” is such a comfort to me.

So, anyway, with that said, I guess it’s understandable why I am a bit sadder than usual with Jojo leaving for 3 days. It definitely helps that my sister, Atsi Jenny, is staying with me. She and her husband Mark came over on Wed to spend the evening with me. Mark had to leave since he had work the next day. But Atsi stayed with me and kept me “distracted” from missing my hubby. It’s been nice having my sister over. It’s been like a slumber party where we’ve been shopping, eating, fixing stuff around the house, telling stories, staying up to watch tv and just having some sisterly bonding time. It’s a nice break for her to come out and stay with me for 3 days and a nice break for me too. This afternoon, Mark is coming back to pick Atsi up and by that time Jojo will be back from Scottsdale too.

Advanced Merry Xmas

2010-10-20T14:54:00.001-07:00

I know that Christmas is still a few weeks away but last night I got bitten by the Christmas bug. All of a sudden, I got excited about the upcoming holiday season. I have always been open about my LOVE for CHRISTMAS and this year is no different - I cannot wait till the holidays are officially here. I started working on my Xmas list and even started shopping online. Jojo and I usually do our holiday shopping over the Thanksgiving weekend. For starters we have those days off from work plus we avail of the big, Black Friday sales. But this year, because of my pregnancy, I may have to resort to online shopping. Which to me is just as fun, if not a tad more convenient! =)

What makes this year even more special is we get to celebrate Xmas at our home. Every year (if we don’t fly home to Manila to be with my family), we celebrate the holiday season here with my in-laws. We each take a turn hosting one of the major “Ber” holidays at each of our homes. This year, by luck of the draw, we picked Xmas. So for the upcoming holiday season, our schedule is as follows: Halloween at Lee and Edel’s; Thanksgiving at Jojo and Tracy’s, Christmas at our place; and New Year’s at Roy and Marik’s.

I love the fact that Christmas Eve is at our place. I am so excited to start bringing out my boxes of Christmas decors. Last night, I actually wanted to hang our parol (Xmas lantern) on our porch already. Jojo convinced me though to at least wait till after Halloween so the neighborhood kids don’t get confused when they come over for Trick or Treating. The thing is not only do I love Xmas eve and day but I actually love the anticipation that comes with it. I love hearing Xmas carols on the radio and seeing Xmas decors up at the malls. I love picking presents and actually enjoy gift wrapping them. I absolutely enjoy seeing all those brightly colored packages under our tree. I love the cool weather that comes with the holidays and getting to bundle in thick sweaters and bulky coats. And then, there’s planning the Xmas Eve menu. At our family parties, the host usually provides the main dish and the rest bring side dishes – this year I am thinking of a Balsamic Roast Pork with roasted harvest veggies. I saw a recipe the other night from Good Housekeeping that doesn’t look too daunting. If all else fails, my mom also taught me a super easy roast pork recipe that I’ve made a number of times with roasted potatoes, that has been a real crowd pleaser. Or maybe I should do roast beef this year? Hmmm …

Anyway, I just wanted to get a jumpstart and wish everyone an Advanced MERRY CHRISTMAS!

A Tribute To My Husband

2010-10-18T15:26:00.000-07:00

Throughout my pregnancy (the last 17 weeks), I have discovered a new side to my husband. Of course, long before I became pregnant, I have already realized how lucky I am to have married such a wonderful guy. Jojo is truly the epitome of a wonderful husband – he is loving, supportive, kind, funny, generous and most of all he makes me a better person. But lately, well, he has exceeded being “just wonderful”. I don’t know if it’s my pregnancy hormones or the fact that today is such an overcast, rainy day leading to sentimental thoughts … but thinking about how wonderful Jojo is, is actually making me weepy. Weepy in a good way, of course.

These days Jojo is extra caring – he makes sure I get enough sleep, I eat well, I don’t over-exert myself and I get my regular exercise. There are nights when I know he is so tired from work but he will gladly put on his sweats to go walking with me (since he knows I hate walking by myself). He is over solicitous in taking over housework – often doing the laundry, cleaning, and even the cooking (which used to be solely my domain) so I can just relax on the couch. And whenever I do take over kitchen duties, he never complains about what I make even if it’s just turkey sandwiches for dinner. He does little things too just to surprise me – like filling my car with gas during the weekend saving me a trip to the gas station on Monday morning, or working on the bills since he knows I hate going over all the junk mail. Jojo has been trying his best to accommodate all my silly pregnancy cravings and whims. These days I get to pick where we eat and what we do on the weekends. I also get to indulge on these sometimes random cravings / ideas that pop into my head – like a visit to Souplantation in the middle of the week or wanting to go shopping for baby furniture all Saturday. And while I know Jojo would probably rather do other things, he gamely goes along with his crazy wife. My absolute favorite though is in the evenings when we lie in bed and watch tv, Jojo, without complaint, gives me back rubs and scratches my back until I fall asleep.

I am truly so lucky to have a husband who does not mind going on doctor’s visits, who is willing to sit through hours of baby classes, and who reads baby books with me. A husband who does not mind that we listen to Baby Einstein when we’re in the car, who gets roped into endless hours talking about plans on how the nursery will be decorated, and who can listen to all my gripes about gaining weight and the changes my body is going through. He makes me laugh when I am down and feeling sorry for myself. He reassures me when I start freaking about how painful labor will be. And he gently reminds me to tone it down when I get carried away and start going off, making plans that are way too elaborate. I also love how he talks to Jellybean every night before we go to bed and how he sometimes rubs my belly when we say our evening prayers. I truly believe I am so blessed to be having a baby and even more so that I can share this experience with Jojo. And if Jojo is such a great hubby to me, I can’t wait to see the kind of dad he will be.

Last Week's Highlights

2010-10-12T10:52:00.000-07:00

The last couple of days have been somewhat busy. Of course there’s the usual – work, running the house, doctor visits, Jellybean updates, etc. – but aside from that we also had some guests over. My high school friend, Joann and her family (including her adorable 3-year old daughter, Andie) stayed with us for a week. It’s always nice catching up with long-time friends and making new ones. This time around we got to hang out with Joann’s sister and brother-in-law as well. My other high school friend, Pam, stayed with us for one night too. And it was nice finally meeting her husband, Michael.

Living in Torrance (which is 15 miles from LA) and about 8 miles from the airport, we get a steady stream of visitors year round. This could be a hassle for many people, but I actually kinda enjoy it. It helps that we live in a home with 3 extra bedrooms and 2 extra bathrooms – and so having people over isn’t too much trouble. Of course that’s going to change next year since we are converting one of the rooms into Jellybean’s nursery and my sister, Joy, might come live with us taking another room. That leaves 1 extra bedroom (which may become Jojo’s and my office). I guess guests will just have to bunk on the sofa then =)

Anyway, back to having guests … it isn’t really that much of a hassle since most of my guests are pretty self-sufficient. They usually rent their own cars and can get to the typical LA tourist spots on their own (Disneyland, Universal Studios, Hollywood, Beverly Hills, etc., etc.). Jojo and I usually just see them over breakfast, dinner and the weekend. Which is pretty cool since it works out for everyone involved.

While Joann and Pam were here, we had home-cooked spaghetti the first night, take-out Chinese food on the second, and margherita pizzas for the third. On Friday night we had dinner at Maggianos at the Grove, went to Santa Barbara and Camarillo on Saturday, relaxed on Sunday and had dinner at Ocean Star restaurant in Monterey Park. It was busy but in a non-hectic, non-tiring way. It helps that both Joann and I are expecting (she is on her 5th month while I am on my 4th month) so the pace was very relaxed. Being preggy with a friend is also another cool thing to be experiencing together.

Oh we did have a minor mishap on Saturday morning, though. We were convoying on our way to Santa Barbara when our car (Jojo was driving and I was on the passenger seat), rear-ended a Buick minivan. The minivan did a full stop right in the middle of the 110 freeway – Jojo hit the brakes, but even with all his driving skill, our car could not stop in time since we were going about 60 miles an hour and had about 40-50 feet between our car and the van. It was a bit surreal watching the minivan come closer and finally hitting it (like it was happening in slow motion – I actually had time to brace myself and put my hands over my belly to protect Jellybean - although of course in real time, it all happened in a matter of seconds). Luckily we were all ok. No one was hurt – except the minivan which had a very dented rear bumper. Our Venza, has proven to be a really safe family car since we escaped with very minor scratches. Jojo and I were extra concerned about Jellybean – but thank god, there was nothing to worry about. It seems Jellybean is one tough little baby! The accident was unfortunate but in the grand scheme of things – we were very lucky and are thankful that all is well.

Yesterday (Monday) my friends left for San Francisco and the house has become quiet again. I’m always a little sad when people leave … but I think that’s a good sign. That just means guests have not overstayed their welcome =) So that in a nutshell was the week that was. Here’s looking forward to other weeks just like it.

Third Check-Up

2010-10-06T12:28:00.001-07:00

Today was my third doctor’s check up and it went very smoothly. I was in and out of there in less than 25 minutes (and that includes my 5-minute wait at the reception area when I arrived). One of the things I like best about my doctor is that he is a very no fuss person (but he never makes you feel rushed either) and it carries over to even his administrative staff. They set an appointment for you and if you come on time, everything is done rather effortlessly. Thank god for that since I took an hour off from work and was worried because the rain was pouring that I would be late. Luckily, I came in with 5 minutes to spare.

Today was just a routine check-up. As usual, we did a urine test (which is pretty standard). I also got my vitals checked (weight, blood pressure, heart rate, etc). Surprisingly, since my last visit (4 weeks ago), I had not gained a single ounce. What are the odds of that??? I thought for sure I would have gained some weight since my regular clothes kind of feel snug these days – I guess this extra girth is all Jellybean and not belly fat!

Dr. Chen came a few minutes later and we checked the baby’s heartbeat. This time, we had no trouble locating it. The sound was strong and very clear. Dr. Chen said this was an excellent sign. He then checked to make sure my uterus was in place and did some other routine examinations. He pronounced me as proceeding “perfectly” with my pregnancy and told me to keep up the good work. Then we had a brief Q&A session. As usual, I had a multitude of questions, such as:

1.) Is it normal to have so much falling hair (which I am experiencing)? He gave me a long, scientific explanation, but basically can be summed as as “Yes, it is normal”.
2.) What kind of medication can I take if I get a cold (I thought I was getting one last week)? He gave me a list of meds that are ok (such as Tylenol and Claritin).
3.) Can I start pre-natal aerobic classes (which I am planning to sign up for)? Basic answer is “yes, but don’t overdo it”.

After a few more questions, Dr. Chen told me the results of our genetic counseling blood tests were in and everything has come out negative. He told me I could now breathe a big sigh of relief and to go ahead and enjoy my second trimester. I do have another round of blood tests scheduled next week but so far, so good. YAY! I’m just so glad that everything is going well so far.

Baby Dreams

2010-09-30T10:16:00.000-07:00

I don’t know if this is a sign but I had a dream last night. In my dream, I had already given birth and was leaning over a crib, changing Jellybean’s diaper. I was expertly changing the dirty nappy (even if I’ve never really changed one on my own – ever). But the interesting part was seeing Jellybean’s face and finding out that I have a gorgeous and totally sweet baby boy. Yup, it was clear as day, I had a baby boy. And right after that realization, I get sprayed with baby pee (from my gorgeous and totally sweet baby boy). That definitely woke me up from my dream! Anyway, I don’t know how much weight a mom-to-be’s dreams play on predicting a baby’s actual gender, but I’d like to think that maybe it’s a sign =)

Condolences

2010-09-27T10:07:00.001-07:00

Last night, we received some sad news. My sister’s mother-in-law, Marcia, had passed away. Marcia was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and had been battling the disease for over two years. It was a very tough battle for her – going through the Whipple procedure (which removes the cancerous part of the pancreas) and undergoing bouts of chemotherapy. In the end, she finally found peace from the relentless cancer and died peacefully surrounded by her family. What makes this event even sadder for me, is the fact that this was the same disease that took my dad away from us. Ironically, my dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer a few weeks after Marcia. In fact, around that time, another very close family friend of ours (my Uncle Bobby) was also diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Uncle Bobby is still fighting the big fight. He also underwent the Whipple procedure (like Marcia and my dad) and also had numerous bouts of chemotherapy and other types of invasive treatments as well.

Two years ago, cancer (pancreatic or otherwise) was the farthest thing from my mind. Today, it has become such a part of our lives. There are days when I still cannot believe my dad is gone because of it. Sometimes I feel cheated thinking that at least Marcia and Uncle Bobby had two years to keep fighting the disease. My dad had just over 7 months till he was abruptly taken away from us. 7 months is an incredibly short amount of time and even if it felt like forever when we were waiting for results and waiting for dad to get better, in reality, it seems like my dad was gone just like that. Many times, I wish that since dad was diagnosed with cancer, at least he could have had the same amount of time others had (and much, much more) so we, as a family, could still take care of him, could still fight the cancer together, could still hope for a miracle. I would, in a heartbeat, take any additional time I could spend with my dad, even if he was very ill and we had to take care of him round-the-clock. But I know that is being selfish of me. I know that is not the kind of life my dad would want to have. He was always a practical man insisting he didn’t want to be attached to tubes and machines. He didn’t want to be a burden to anyone. That he would rather have a quality life than one purely based on quantity.

Everything happens for a reason. Once my mom and Marcia had a conversation about Marcia’s bouts with chemotherapy. And I remember Marcia distinctly telling my mom that maybe my dad was the lucky one whose battle with cancer ended sooner – and he no longer had to suffer as much. I had never thought of it that way. Of course, I don’t want my dad to suffer and even if it was so hard for me to let him go, in the end, the one thing that made it easier for me was knowing he was in a better place and that he was no longer going through any hardship. I still miss my dad every single day and I still think about him all the time, but in my heart, I know he is still with us in spirit and I do find consolation knowing that he is happy and at peace wherever he is. I wish the same for Marcia (that she is now at peace and no longer in pain) and I also pray that her family finds consolation in that fact.

13th Week

2010-09-21T18:10:00.000-07:00

Okay, I may have jumped the gun a bit last week. I was celebrating the end of my first trimester since I had officially reached 12 weeks. In my mind, 12 weeks equals 3 months, and if women are pregnant for 9 months then the first three months would equal the first trimester, right? Here’s where it gets weird. Even if women are pregnant for 9 months (which would be 36 weeks), it takes 40 weeks to carry a baby to full term. And so 40 weeks divided by 3 (trimesters) equals 13.3 weeks. So technically, I should only be celebrating the end of my first trimester this week (which is my 13th week). Does that make sense? Anyhoo, it’s all a moot point by this point anyway.

So, are there any noticeable changes now that I am in / entering my 2nd trimester? None that are extra significant really. My morning sickness is almost gone (except for a few very minor mishaps). My cravings are down to almost a minimum which is good and bad. Good, because I am no longer very particular or picky about food. But also bad, because I now like eating almost everything and anything (and have to consciously try to eat healthy and balanced meals). Which I can’t say always happens. My sleeping patterns are more normal too – gone are the days where I am a complete sleepyhead (sleeping more than 12 hours a day). These days, it seems 8 hours of sleep is my magic number. I still have to pee a lot which I am told will get worse as the pregnancy progresses. It’s a drag to have to get up sometimes 3-4 times a night to go pee. But it’s not so bad. On a more “personal level” (and those who don’t want too much information can stop reading till the end of this paragraph and can just pick up again in the next paragraph), my breasts are still super tender (it almost hurts when I put on a shirt because of the chafing – but I notice that moisturizing lotion helps. And my pooping is also now on a more regular basis (it was bordering on constipation a few weeks ago). (I did warn you that I would be sharing TMI – too much info!).

Another slight “change” is I’ve noticed that some of my pants and skirts have started to feel slightly more snug. At first, I thought, maybe I was just gaining weight (read the part again where I wrote about now wanting to eat anything and everything!). Plus we’ve just had so many occasions to eat out and entertain this month … it’s been crazy! But Jojo said he didn’t really notice the other parts of my body gaining weight – just the lower part of my belly (and my waist area) seem to be thickening. So I’ve consulted my hoard of baby books and the multitude of pregnancy websites I frequent and they do say that most pregnant women start to experience tummy “growth” towards the third, fourth or fifth month of pregnancy. So, this extra little bulge (not enough to show yet, but certainly enough for me to notice), is just Jellybean making his/her presence felt. How surreal that for the first time in my entire life, I am excited about this extra little bit of flab and the extra 2 pounds that have showed up on my scale this morning! =)

Genetic Counseling

2010-09-15T11:00:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was Jojo’s and my initiation into the world of parenthood. We were at the Magella Medical Center for our genetic counseling session. Basically, all parents-to-be are encouraged to attend genetic counseling sessions. But if the mother-to-be is 35 years and older, it is required attendance by the State of California. So, at exactly 9:00 am, Jojo and I were sitting in the waiting room filling out loads of paperwork. About 20 minutes later, we were ushered into the office of Ira, our genetic counselor.

Basically, genetic counseling is where a certified geneticist goes over your family history (in every microscopic detail) and then discusses with you facts, statistics, and loads of information about possible genetic diseases and deformities your baby may be born with. No matter how nice the office is and no matter how genuinely warm our counselor is, there is no sugar-coating some pretty gruesome facts. There are so many possible problems a baby can be born with – Down Syndrome, Muscle Atrophy, Autism, etc, etc. Each one (and there was a lot) was explained in painstaking detail as well as the stats (like how likely, percent-wise, it could happen to us based on our race, family history and age). Throughout most of the session, I was sitting there shell-shocked and imagining the worst.

Ira then discussed the possible tests in order to determine if our baby could have these defects. The basic tests include an ultrasound to measure the baby’s neck size and a couple of blood tests to see if Jojo and I are carriers of certain chromosomes. After that, there are other more invasive tests (that are pretty scary to consider). Also, all of which run the risk of possibly miscarrying the baby. Of course that makes me even more paranoid! I was glad Jojo was there because he is always the rational one and he was the one who decided we would do the two basic tests first and if the tests appeared to be positive for any anomaly then we may consider the more invasive procedures.

Our next step was to go into the ultrasound room to measure Jellybean’s neck size. I was so nervous and praying so hard that the size would be normal. Jojo was seeing Jellybean for the first time and was just excited to see his baby on a giant t.v. screen. As the technician tried to get measurements, she was laughing because Jellybean was so extra active. He/She was dancing around and moving so much we could not get an accurate picture. It was like Jellybean knew we were watching and wanted to put on a good show for us! Normally an ultrasound takes 5-10 minutes, but I was lying there for close to half an hour while the technician tried to get a good shot of Jellybean’s head/neck. I had to lie on my back, shift to the left, then the right, then back again, trying to get Jellybean in position. All this time, I was so anxious to find out if Jellybean’s neck size was within the normal range. Finally, after several attempts (the technician even had to resort to lightly shaking my belly over and over again to move Jellybean around), we got the needed screenshot. Jellybean’s necksize was 1.9 mm. Anything below 3.0 mm is considered normal and above that indicates possible genetic defects. I cried tears of relief. Also, we found out the Jellybean is now exactly 3 inches long from the top of his/her head to the tips of his/her toes. No longer a “jellybean” more like a Gummi Worm =)

I had to get some blood tests done afterwards just to make sure I was not a carrier of certain chromosomes. The results come out in 7 – 10 days. Then Jojo needs to get his tests done. After that, we both need to be re-tested after 6 weeks. And another ultrasound when I am in my 6th month. All these not to mention my regular visits to my OB-GYN plus my regular lab work too. So many tests and procedures!

While the neck size is normal, the blood test results will give us an even clearer picture. So even if I am a little relieved after yesterday, I am still praying the test results come out negative. SIGH. Jojo and I are not even “parents” yet and already we are subjected to worrying and hoping for the best for little Jellybean. This just makes me appreciate everything my own parents have gone through for me!

Second Letter

2010-09-13T11:01:00.000-07:00

My dear Jellybean,

Today is the end of my first trimester of pregnancy which makes it the official start of your fourth month. Happy 4th month to you! It’s strange how it seems like time just flew by and at the same time it seems to be dragging on so slowly. Sometimes I can’t believe that a third of my pregnancy is over and that in 6 months I’ll be meeting you in-person! And sometimes I feel it’s taking so long for you to get here and I am so anxious to have you with us already!

The first trimester was an adventure. What a ride! Let me tell you that your dad was incredible through it all. I honestly do not know how I could have gone through it without him. He was exceptionally supportive, understanding and caring. He really went above and beyond the call of duty. I am still amazed at his patience and thoughtfulness in dealing with a first-time, worry-wart, hormonally-crazed mother-to-be who was going through weird cravings, morning sickness and a perpetually cranky mood. God bless him! When you arrive, we must find a way to properly thank him =)

A few days ago I wrote a blog entry regarding how perfect the timing of your arrival is. It’s true. You are such a long-awaited and eagerly-anticipated baby but at the same time your “late” arrival allowed us to prepare for when you do arrive. Sometimes I do wish you had come just a little bit sooner. It would have been perfect if you had the chance to meet your guakong. He would have spoiled you rotten, I’m sure. I can just imagine how great a grandpa he would be (considering what an awesome father he was!). Thinking about how you two won’t meet made me sad, but Jojo reassured me that for sure you and my dad have already met and bonded in heaven. And that it is certain that you are coming with my dad’s blessing and a part of him is already with you. That made me immensely happy.

So your arrival really is perfect timing! Of course there are some things we have to put off now that you are coming. For starters, we were planning to go home to Manila in January for my best friend’s wedding. Then in February, we were suppose to join our friends on their honeymoon. Mid next year, we were planning a visit to some other friends in Vancouver. And late next year, we had a trip to New England planned with the family. Looks like those things are on hold for now. =) No regrets though, Bean, I know that there will be plenty of time for trips and travels when you are old enough. And thankfully our family and friends have been extra understanding.

Last week, I had a visit with Dr. Chen. It was a routine check-up and everything was going well. Dr. Chen asked me if I wanted to listen to your heartbeat and I said “Yes”. He hooked us up to a small, portable machine and tried to find your heartbeat. After a few minutes of just silence, he told me it would be better if I had another ultrasound as we could not hear anything. While I waited for the ultrasound machine to be set up in the next room, I cannot begin to describe to you how nervous I was. In my usual state of “panic-mode worrying”, I started imagining the worst as to why we could not hear your heartbeat. But as soon as Dr. Chen applied the gel and placed the ultrasound machine sensor on my belly, you appeared on the screen. It actually appeared that you were waving at us from the screen. I asked Dr. Chen why we could not hear your heartbeat and he calmly replied that sometimes babies like to play hide-and-seek and that sometimes mom’s belly-fat can also block the sound of a baby’s heartbeat from the machine. Haha! So it’s either you are a playful baby or I have some extra belly-fat (uhm, I think it’s probably a bit of both).

The last few days I’ve been window shopping for your nursery. I have so many ideas and so many things I want to get for you. We are waiting to know if you will be a baby boy or a baby girl though. I was thinking that if you are a boy I would decorate your nursery in light green and tan with a baby jungle animal theme (your dad prefers a blue room with stars, planets and spaceships). And if you are a baby girl, I thought pale yellow and baby pink with lots of bunnies and butterflies (your dad is non-committal as long as it is not “too pink”). We’ve also been coming up with a list of possible names for you. Your dad and I pretty much agree on a few favorites and have not really had to veto each other’s choices. Except one time, I had to put my foot down when your dad wanted your nickname to be “Goku” after a Dragonball-Z character (I think you will thank me for this later!).

Anyway, Bean, we are starting the next phase in our adventure. Second trimester, here we come! I just want to reassure you that we love you and can’t wait to finally meet you. See you in 6 months!

Life Lessons

2010-09-11T10:01:00.000-07:00

Lessons I’ve learned (often the hard way) and hope to impart to Jellybean:

1.) Sometimes the things you count on and the people you thought would be there for you are the very things and people that let you down. It may be intentional or not, but it happens. But life goes on and you will always recover.
2.) There are times when life seems unfair and you feel the whole world is out to get you. There are days when nothing seems to be going your way. And even when it seems like you are at your lowest, the fact is , it does get better and there will come a time when you will realize that with every low point comes an equally good high point as well.
3.) There will be instances when things don’t make sense and we have so many unanswered questions. We feel lost and uncertain. We need to hang in there because in the end, things have a way of becoming clearer (and if not, then maybe we were never really meant to know in the first place).
4.) Sometimes we are faced with having to make difficult choices. When all the possibilities seem too good to be true (or too bad to have to consider). It leaves us sometimes so undecided that we lose out on opportunities. Sometimes we just need to think hard, go with our gut, and take a leap of faith.
5.) We will find ourselves having regrets over choices we’ve made or playing the “what if” game. The thing is life is all about moving on and regrets won’t do us any good. Everything happens for a reason (even the mistakes we’ve made in our life have happened to make us better, stronger and wiser).
6.) Heartache, disappointment, frustration and stress are horrible things to experience. But they can help make us stronger. If we choose to let them consume us, it could be our downfall. But we can always choose to make them work for us and help us become better persons.
7.) It is easy to focus on the negative and easy to get consumed by jealousy (always looking at what others have and what you yourself do not). But the key is to train yourself to be focus more on the positive and to realize your blessings and all the good in your own life.
8.) Sometimes the people who love us have to hurt us – and it’s really for our own good. Sometimes we have to hurt those we love – and it’s really for their own good. Loving and caring for someone is not always easy. But it is worth it in the end.
9.) There are instances where we have to make sacrifices in order to get what we want. Life is not always easy and we need to work hard to get the things we really, truly desire. It’s good to remember though that the best things in life are often worth the sacrifice and that good things come to those who wait.
10.) We always find ourselves worrying (it especially runs in our family!). Worrying about every little thing and making mountains out of molehills. One of the best things my mom ever told me is that “worrying is an insult to God” and that we should have faith and trust. We need to consciously let go of our worries because in the end worrying is a futile effort that does us no good.
11.) Treat others the way you want to be treated. It sounds so basic but often many of us need to be reminded.
12.) Don't be too quick to judge, don't say things in anger, and don't hold grudges. These are not easy to do and may be things that you need to work on all your life (I know, I am!). But the effort to become a better person is and should be a life-long endeavor anyway.

And most of all, LOVE YOURSELF (be comfortable being alone with yourself and being in your own skin). The only way to be truly happy and to let go of any insecurities is to realize that you are who you are and that you are the best you can be (anyone who disagrees or puts you down is one less person you need to have in your life anyway).

Perfect Timing

2010-09-07T15:25:00.001-07:00

Last night, I was having some difficulty falling asleep (probably because I took an almost 3-hour nap that afternoon and so I wasn’t that sleepy yet when bedtime came around). As I lay in bed, I thought about the timing of Jellybean’s arrival. Even though, Jojo and I have wanted to start a family for the last three and a half years, it seems that Jellybean’s arrival, although long anticipated, came at the exact right time.

Jojo and I got married on Dec 2004. The first two years of our marriage, we purposely did not try to conceive. Mainly it was because I wanted to make sure everything was settled before we started a family. I wanted to make sure our immigration papers were in order, that financially we would be prepared, and that we would have some time to spend together as a couple before welcoming a new addition to the family. Jojo was very supportive. I think in many ways he wanted to make sure we were both mentally, emotionally and financially stable too.

In 2006, we talked about starting a family but that same year, I also started a new job at a financial institution. It was a very good career move on my end as I was entering the corporate world, getting paid very well, and facing a lot of challenges that made me a stronger person both on a professional and personal level. The next two years we tried to get pregnant but I knew in my heart it probably would not happen given that we were both professionally stressed with work and busy climbing the corporate ladder.

In 2008, I decided to leave that high-paying but equally high-stress job and concentrate on family. Jojo again was extremely supportive. But that same year, my dad was diagnosed with cancer and it was without question that I would drop everything to be there for my dad. I spent a month here in the States, along with my mom and sister, taking care of my dad (driving him to doctor’s appointments, taking him to the hospital, going to the lab for tests, etc). After it was decided that he would receive treatment back in Manila, it was without hesitation and with my husband’s full support, that I flew home to be with my dad and family. I spent the next 7 months in Manila (most of it in the hospital watching over my dad and at home spending time with my mom and siblings). It was a very difficult time for all of us but I would not have traded being there for anything in the world. I was so glad to have the chance to be with my dad and to be there for him during the time he needed us.

In mid-2009, I flew back to the States and spent the next 5 months just taking it easy. Partly it was a time for me to mourn my dad and also for me to move on with my life. I tried looking for work but the timing was never right. It was great though to be able to recharge and relax. I did some part time work and volunteered with local non-profit groups. I also got the chance to work out and take care of myself. The end of 2009, we again flew home to Manila for a month to spend the holidays with family.

In early 2010, I finally found a job where I am happy, challenged (but not stressed) and where I find meaning and purpose in what I do. I’ve slowly settled into my new position and am content. Jojo, likewise, has found a challenging but rewarding career with a new company. It seemed everything is in order for us – financially, emotionally, mentally, physically and personally. Then without much ado, in mid 2010, we conceived Jellybean. This was done naturally, I am proud to say, without the aid of any artificial means.

Doesn’t that timeline make complete sense? Doesn’t the timing seem like things just fell into place? By coming at this time, Jellybean allowed Jojo and I the time to grow together as a couple; to prepare ourselves before starting a family, to have the opportunity to experience a corporate career, to go home and be there for my dad, and later for my mom too. Jellybean’s timing allowed me time to re-energize and find myself. It also allowed Jojo to mellow and be ready to be a dad. It may sometimes seem like Jellybean took his/her time in making his/her appearance (given that Jojo and I are now older and have been married almost 6 years) but at the end of the day, I think Jellybean is coming at the perfect time!

From the mouth of kids ...

2010-09-05T10:13:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we went to Liberty Park for a family picnic. We spent the afternoon eating, playing games, relaxing and just swapping stories. It was a really nice way to spend a lazy Saturday afternoon. During the picnic, I was trying to explain to my nieces and nephews that I was pregnant. They all knew they had a new cousin on the way and were all so excited to see Jellybean when she/he arrives. Of course the girls all wanted another baby girl and the boys all wanted another baby boy. Here are some of their comments that were just too darn cute ...

While I was drinking a cold glass of water, my 5-year old niece, Sydney, puts her hand on my glass and says "Slow down, Ninang Joanne, when you drink so fast like that, Jellybean is getting all wet in your tummy! My 4-year old niece, MJ, chimes in "Jellybean is getting a shower". Which made all the kids burst out laughing!

After lunch we took a walk with the kids, including my 9-year old nephew, Elroy, who was on his bike was pedaling extra slowly beside me. I told him to go on and pedal faster since I saw he was having difficulty balancing at such a slow pace. He turned to me and said "I don't want you to have to run after me cause Jellybean might get too dizzy bouncing around your tummy!". Isn't that sweet?

Sometime that afternoon, my sister-in-law had to change her daughter's diaper and there was a lot of good-natured teasing that soon Jojo and I would have to be on diaper duty too. My 8-year old niece, Meredith turned to me and said seriously "Don't worry, Ninang, I'll change Jellybean's diapers cause you used to do that for me". AWWW!

Later that day, the ice cream truck came our way and of course with 9 nieces and nephews, we had to stop for an ice cream break. I was slow in walking up to the truck but I heard my in-laws yelling to let the little kids go first (meaning my 2-year old niece, Dani). But my 7-year old niece, Maddie, took it literally and immediately ran to me to ask "what kind of ice cream would Jellybean like?" (since Jellybean is technically the youngest one of all).

Here's one more ... while I was cuddling with my 5-year old niece, Faye, she asks me, "Ninang Joanne, when Jellybean comes will you love Jellybean most of all?", And I said "Yes". Then she gets quiet and asks softly "When Jellybean comes will you still love us too?", and I just had to reassure her and say "Absolutely!".

Aren't kids the cutest and sweetest things ever???

Food and other stuff

2010-08-31T08:46:00.000-07:00

There are a couple of things I've been advised to give up during my pregnancy. Like smoking and doing drugs. But since I neither smoke nor do drugs .... it hasn't really been hard to give that up!

Here are a list of foods that I have to give up for the next few weeks/months .... FYI this list is MUCH HARDER to give up!
1.) Sushi / Sashimi
2.) Coffee and Tea (unless it's decaf tea)
3.) Canned tuna
4.) Coke and Diet Coke (actually all kinds of soda for that matter)
5.) Hot sauce / Chili sauce (it causes heartburn)
6.) Oysters on the half-shell (which I was so tempted to eat last Sunday but was luckily able to control myself!).

I've also been advised to limit my carb intake. Cut down on rice, bread, pasta, potatoes and starches. This is SUPER HARD for me too - I'm a Pinoy at heart and most meals are not complete without rice =( I've tried to limit these carbs to lunch time so that I can at least try to burn up the calories the rest of the day .... (operative word is "TRY").

I've also been trying to limit my sugar consumption cause I am worried about gestational diabetes. Also, since high blood sugar runs in my family and Jojo's, I'm trying to be careful to spare Jellybean that while he/she is still developing.

While I can not find myself enjoying anything greasy or fried these days (the smell of cooking oil still drives me insane!). Here is a list of food I've been craving:
1.) Nectarines
2.) Clementine Oranges
3.) And ... Steak (I've been dreaming of a a prime rib dinner from House of Prime Rib in San Francisco for days now!).
*It's a weird list, I know!

Oh and in other exciting news ... I bought my first maternity dress yesterday. While, I don't need maternity clothes just yet, my mom did advise me to start looking around. Coincidentally my friend, Mar, sent me a coupon for a 30% discount off Gap and Banana Republic. So I decided to browse and found a really nice jersey dress at Gap Maternity. I think I can even wear it now and probably all the way till I deliver. It's really nice and perfect for work (and maybe even going out too). So I was excited and ordered it online. It should be here in the next 7 days =)

Morning Sickness???

2010-08-30T12:12:00.000-07:00

I’ve made a semi-important discovery lately about my so called “morning sickness”. It turns out that what I am suffering from isn’t exactly morning sickness per se. The last couple of days, I’ve been noticing that I get nauseous at around 5 or 6 pm. The whole day I am fine but at around that time, just like clockwork, I get slightly dizzy and find myself holding back the gagging. Initially I had attributed it to afternoon sickness (or that maybe Jellybean is on Manila time and so it would be mid-morning back home). But upon further observation, it’s really more so because I am hungry.

I usually eat breakfast at around 8:00 am, lunch at 1:00 and dinner at 7:00. Three meals a day with occasional (but pretty random snacking throughout the day) is usually enough to tide me over. But I’ve found that whenever I get hungry, Jellybean lets me know he/she is hungry too by making me nauseous. We “tested” this theory last weekend. I skipped breakfast last Sunday because we were going to mass and having brunch right after. And while, I have not had any morning sickness the last couple of mornings, all through the mass I felt the need to throw up. Jojo and I literally had to step outside to get some fresh air. AHA. It was indeed Jellybean’s way of telling me “Please feed me!”. I had brunch and a nectarine in the mid-afternoon and when 5:00 came, I was feeling fine. No nausea in the late afternoon!

So now, I have to modify my eating plan somewhat. No more three large meals a day but rather 5 or 6 smaller meals throughout the day. I now have to eat breakfast, have a midmorning snack, eat lunch, have merienda (afternoon snack), take a sensible dinner, and even have some fruit while watching tv. I’m trying that out today and we’ll see if it does solve the mystery of my morning sickness (both for Manila and LA time!).

We're Back (Not That We Really Left)

2010-08-22T09:38:00.000-07:00

We're back home. Actually we didn't really go anywhere ... but since we had our place fumigated for termites, we decided to check in to a hotel and have a mini vacation of sorts. It did kinda, sorta feel like a vacation even if we were less than 4 miles from our house! It was nice though to come home every day to a clean room, have fresh towels and crisp linens waiting, and to have the airconditioner turned on 24/7 (such perfect timing too since this week and next we are in the upper 90's). Also, Jojo and I purposely did not bring our notebooks and so it was a blissful, no=technology break for us too (of course, Jojo could not resist and had his Blackberry with him at all times). But other than that, it was very relaxing!

So anyway, we are back home today and there are so many little things that need to be done. Wash the sheets, wash the dishes, empty out the fridge, re-stock our pantry/fridge, wipe down counters, remove plastic covers, etc. All of these are precautionary but since Jellybean is with us, we have to be safe rather than sorry. I am soooo glad that our housekeeper, Louisa is here today and is able to help me with all these. What a godsend!

Other than that, our weekend is pretty uneventful. We took some of my colleagues from work for dimsum at PV Palace yesterday. It was their first time. It was actually very funny how they had a million and one questions about every single dish! They kind of had their "quirks " (for lack of a better word). Faten is vegetarian, Rubi is the most un-adventurous eater on the planet, and Osei does not like vegetables. So between the three of them, plus Jojo and I, we had a lot of fun sampling different dimsum dishes.

Today, I think we'll be staying in and just tidying up the house. Probably mass later in the afternoon and Mitsuwa for dinner (I love their authentic Japanese food court where you can get little Japanese bento boxes!).

In Jellybean news, we'll not much to report. My morning sickness is more controlled now and my sense of smell is no longer as sensitive. I've been able to have more normal meals these days. We've started receiving gifts for the little Bean (books on parenting, Baby Einstein CDs, and Jellybean's first official onesie). So cute! And sweet of everyone too =) Thanks to Tita Marik, Tita Tracy and Tita Cha =)

Indulgent

2010-08-17T08:51:00.000-07:00

Jojo and were taking a walk last night and got to talking about how much our lives will change once Jellybean arrives. Of course, at this point, it's hard to say how much exactly our lives will be different. But it would be an easy assumption to make that things will be quite drastically different. For starters, we will soon be responsible for the well-being and happiness of an entirely different human being. That is definitely going to mean making some changes.

Overall, our life together as a couple has been ideal. We live pretty "selfish" lives. By "selfish", I don't mean that we don't share or that we withhold certain aspects of it. But rather, we live our lives according to our whims and what makes us happy. I guess rather than the word "selfish", what better describes us would be "indulgent". Take last weekend for example. We wake up when we want to wake up and sleep in when we want to sleep in. Once we get up from bed, Jojo goes straight to his computer (playing games and checking Facebook!). I take my sweet time just lounging around in bed and watching tv under the covers. I told Jojo once Jellybean gets here, we probably have to get up when he/she gets up and then we have to feed him/her when we do.

For lunch we either eat in when we are in the mood to cook or eat out when we are too lazy to make anything. Our food choices are mostly what we feel like eating that day - it could be dimsum or Mexican food or salads at Souplantation, or even good old leftovers and ever reliable canned goods. Of course, when Jellybean arrives, we would now have to consider what he/she would eat when we go out to dine. My sister-in-law was telling me they haven't been to any good, sit down restaurants in a while (and absolutely no "ethnic foods" at all) since all her kids like to eat are chicken fingers and mac n cheese. Then there is of course not being able to sit down to eat together as we would probably have to take turns feeding and playing with Jellybean (and hoping he/she does not break out in a tantrum while we are eating with other people!).

In the afternoons, Jojo and I sometimes go to the gym or go shopping. We usually browse bookstores or catch a movie. Sometimes we hang out with friends. All that would have to change for a while since having a baby means doing things the baby can do and wants to do (it's no longer about what the parents want to do!). Even going to mass in the evenings will have to change. We will no longer be able to sit in the front pews where we now sit and will have to sit at the back pews (separated by the clear glass) with the rest of the parents with fussy babies! =)

Jojo and I were laughing about all the little changes we would have to make to our routines. Like waking up extra early in the mornings (or in the middle of the night) to take care of Jellybean's needs first. Like giving up going on vacations to the places we planned to go and designating Disneyland and Sea World as our vacation destinations for the next few years. Like skipping our favorite tv shows in the evenings because maybe they aren't rated PG and accepting the fact that the Disney Channel and Nickelodeon will be the channels of choice in our home rather than HBO and HGTV. Like how most of our savings will now go to buying toys and books and children's clothes. Lots more, of which I have no doubt! Sigh. I still think it will all be worth it though!

To My Dear Baby Bean,

2010-08-14T13:04:00.000-07:00

This is my first official "letter" to you. So, hmmm, where do I start? Let me tell you a little about my pregnancy so far. The last couple of days have been a little better. My stomach has settled somewhat and even if I still have occasional bouts of "morning" sickness, they are not as strong nor as often. There have been a few embarrassing instances where I might have gagged out loud in public. But nothing I can't live down. I am still a giant sleepyhead and am now sleeping almost 9 hours a night. Inspite of that I still have a hard time waking up every morning. I guess I am storing up sleep in preparation for when you arrive and will need me to get up with you in the middle of the night. I find that I also get tired more easily these days and feel lethargic in the early afternoons. My appetite is a little better. I still mostly eat steamed, boiled, broiled or freshly prepared dishes and am staying away from anything fried or oily (as that does not help my gag reflexes!). But the biggest change is my need to pee almost constantly. It's sometimes bordering on hilarious how often I have to go to the bathroom!

But all is well. I can't complain. The good news is it's been a real joy to wake up every morning and realize that you are in me. I often fall asleep and wake up with my hands over my belly. You are too small to feel right now ... but just knowing you are there is reassuring to me. It may just be my imagination but I can swear I feel you moving and settling in my tummy. Jojo and I talk to you constantly. Sometimes serious things but more often than not silly things too. I am not sure if you can hear everything we say to you - but I know that you can feel how much we love you.

Pretty much everyone knows about you now. We've shared your arrival with with our closest family and friends. Every day my co-workers ask about you. We've also had a couple of people volunteer to throw you a baby shower already. I can understand how excited Jojo and I are but it's amusing to me to see other people so excited to meet you too. Thanks to the power of the internet (blogging, Facebook, and emails) - everyone is so eagerly anticipating your arrival. I just know that day will be one of the best days of my life. I can't wait to meet you!

Love you, my little Baby Bean.

Meeting Jellybean =)

2010-08-11T12:05:00.001-07:00

I met our little Jellybean today =) I just came from my doctor's office and am still in awe. I came face-to-face (well, it was my face and the ultrasound monitor) with our baby. It's too soon to tell whether Jellybean is a girl or a boy (it doesn't matter really) - the good news is the heartbeat is strong and everything seems to be in order. It all seems so surreal to me right now. I have to say the moment I laid my eyes on that teeny-tiny Bean ... everything just seemed to fall into place and everything in the world was right again. What a wonderful, humbling moment that I will cherish forever.

I am officially 7 weeks and 1 day pregnant. And our baby is due on March 28th. OMG! I can't wait! 7 months seem like forever ... but it also seems like too short a time to prepare for everything that needs to get done. I don't know where to start but I am so excited to get going! Jojo and I have been waiting for this and I know it will be awesome.

On a side note, my OB-GYN, Dr. Chen is the bestest doctor in the whole wide world. He is totally a calm, reassuring and positive doctor. Such a perfect godsend for a first time, worrywart, mother-to-be. He reminds me of a kindly old uncle but is pretty amazing when it comes to giving me information and tips. He is very patient too (he really took time to answer my gazillion and one questions - even my most silly questions got serious answers). Thank God for Dr. Chen. I know Jellybean and I will be in good hands.

I also got a mini tour of the hospital (where I will be due). It all seems like such a dream right now. But luckily, it's a good dream and I am praying everything continues to go well. So far, so good ... even my "morning sickness" was cooperating all through my doctor and hospital visit today.

Again, I am so blessed and thankful. This is such a miracle. And I am so honored to be part of it all =)

Jellybean

2010-08-08T20:00:00.000-07:00

It's been just two days since we've found out we're about to become parents and to be very truthful, Jojo and I are acting like we've been ready for this since forever! In my case, I've been going through a rough few days. For starters, the term "morning sickness" is very misleading. It is by no means limited to just "mornings". I think the term should more aptly be "all-day sickness" because honestly that's what it feels like to me. I feel like I am perpetually in a state of nausea. Most times it is controllable (meaning I can function although carefully and go about life) but there are moments where I need to just lie down till the feeling subsides. My appetite has been so strange too. I no longer cringe at the thought of dairy but am now literally disgusted by anything greasy. The other day just watching a tv commercial featuring Burger King french fries made me want to upchuck! And walking by the food court earlier made me imagine all sorts of greasy food, it was just too much for my sensitive nostrils to bear. I don't know why but even my favorite Puff Cheetos disgusts me (why do they have to be so bright orange!?).

I guess that's the good thing. So far I've been eating really healthy food. I am also over the craving for meat. During the last few meals, I am very happy with steamed tofu, fresh salads and bowls of clear soup. I've been really ravenous for fruits and Jojo has been indulging me. He's cut up fresh papayas, watermelons, nectarines and peaches. And has been washing fresh blueberries, strawberries and cherries whenever I have a hankering. Jojo has been extra indulgent too - doing the dishes, taking care of the laundry, picking up items at the supermarket, and making sure I am comfortable at all times. Aaah! I could really get used to this =)

Today I've been browsing some websites on pregnancy. Because we don't know yet how far along I am or when I am due, we are speculating that I am between 1-3 months. I've been looking at pictures of how big the baby should be at that stage. Really - just about the size of a jellybean (I guess). So I've started referring to the baby as "Jellybean". And Jojo has started doing that too. Like this afternoon, I woke up from a nap and Jojo comes into the room to ask if "Jellybean and I would like to go to the 5 PM or the 6 PM mass". Haha! - isn't that absolutely precious? Jellybean, it is then!

I guess we are not the only ones excited. So far we've only shared the news with immediate family (will definitely share it with all our loved ones once I see my doctor this week). But already the outpouring of love and acceptance for little Jellybean has been incredible. My family and Jojo's family have been so wonderful in their show of support. All I can say is Jellybean is one lucky baby to have such a great family waiting for him/her. And of course, we are equally lucky to have Jellybean come join us too =)

Positive

2010-08-07T19:21:00.000-07:00

We took a pregnancy test today ... it came out positive. The pregnancy kit claims it is 99% accurate ... so until I see my OB-GYN, I guess I am 99% pregnant. =) I don't know how to explain what I am feeling right now. I was in shock when the second line appeared on the stick. Jojo was at my side and his happiness was instantaneous. Mine took a few minutes before it sunk in! I called my mom right away but it was 5 AM Manila time so I didn't let the phone ring too long and when no one picked up, I called my sisters-in-law. Marik and Tracy. Jojo called his mom and his brother, Lee. I texted Atsi. When I spoke to people, that's when it started to feel real ... I cried when Marik cried. Good, happy tears. It's still surreal and I am still a bit dazed (which is why this post sounds so stilted). Anyway, more on all this when I catch my breath ...

But for now, all I can say is "thank you God and thank you dad!".

Blasé blah

2010-08-04T20:37:00.000-07:00

For my readers (the last two or three of you), please do not react with any excitement, worry, glee, or anxiety over my post ... I wasn't even going to write about it but figured if I wanted to be true to the real reason for this blog (which is to "record" my "life" and have it serve as a journal for my thoughts, feelings and opinions), well, then, I should go ahead and write about the things happening to me in real time. Even if they may not be "ahem" confirmed yet. This is a really long caveat ... and if I've confused anyone, no worries, I'm not sure I am 100% clear about what I just wrote myself!

Anyway, here goes, since last Saturday I've been feeling weird. Not that I feel sick or bad ... but just weird. My stomach has been queasy for no reason. I feel like throwing up (it's different from feeling nauseous though). I just feel like throwing up would calm my upset tummy. I've been extra, extra lazy all Saturday and Sunday. Like sleeping all the time. After a full night's sleep (over 9 hours), I wake up for breakfast, watch some tv and nap the rest of the morning. We have lunch, I get a massage then I take an afternoon siesta. The rest of the day goes by in a blur of catnaps and lounging around the house - but by 10 PM I'm yawning again and can barely keep my eyes open. I didn't want to get off my lazy butt all weekend. Jojo had to do EVERYTHING. (Notice how I typed the word "EVERYTHING" in all caps?).

This week has been a bit better. I am still so sleepy but manage to wake up and go to work every day. Also, I've been okay at work. It helps that there is a lot to do and I've been distracted from feeling sleepy by being busy! Not feeling as queasy lately too but there are still moments (like today at lunch where looking at my chicken breast marinated in jerk seasoning made me want to throw up, so I had some clear soup instead). Eating smaller meals helps too. Still there are certain foods that just thinking about makes me sick. For example, anything dairy (just looking at the plastic tub of cream cheese and the leftover spaghetti carbonara in our fridge) makes me want to hurl! And I am craving MEAT. It's not just I feel like eating meat, but I want to devour a huge charbroiled plate of it! And not just chicken or turkey but a real, honest-to-goodness, grilled steak sounds awesome right about now! (Still have not indulged in this since we are eating our way through our freezer and we are out of red meat!).

Now is a good time to remind everyone, to please not react with any excitement, worry, glee, or anxiety over my post. It is TOO EARLY to contemplate the "P" word. Maybe it's not even the "P" word. I could just be going through a queasy-lazy-sleepy-lactose-intolerant-carnivorous phase. It is entirely possible!

Even if I've been "delayed" almost 2 months now (which technically does not mean anything since I can sometimes go 3 months without getting my period). This could be a fluke! =) I don't want to preempt anything or jinx anything. So anyway, long story short, I'm just stating the facts but am not expecting a reaction. I have been down this road so many times before that I don't want to raise my hopes and have them dashed again, I just wanted to share what's going on with me now and see where this takes me. It's all good either way.

I'm really honestly at the point where I am going to be super HAPPY to have a baby. But am equally OKAY if it's not yet the time for this blessing to come my way. I figured with everything going on, the additional pressure of "trying too hard" is something we can live without! =) To be honest, Jojo and I are, at this point, just taking it one day at a time and being blasé blah about it all. You know what I mean? =) Anyway, more updates to follow ...

Happy 5th Birthday, Junarakasa's Story

2010-08-03T09:31:00.000-07:00

Because of all the recent hustle and bustle, I've neglected to celebrate my blog's 5th birthday! I can't believe "Junarakasa's Story" is now 5 years old (my blog officially turned 5 last July 20th). It's pretty amazing that I've been blogging for over 5 years now. What could I possibly have had to write about in all this time??? I had the morning relatively free so I took a trip down memory lane and re-read highlights of my blog. I found myself alternating between laughter and tears. So many wonderful memories! Of course there are the good and not-so-good memories. But all of which I will treasure nonetheless.

Happy 5th, Junarakasa's Story! Here's hoping I'll have it in me to keep going for another 5 years (or more!). To my dad, who I know is still reading my blog: this one's for you, Papitoof! =)

Change

2010-08-03T08:45:00.000-07:00

I was talking to my mom over the weekend and we discussed how there seems to be a move towards change in most of our lives. My Uncle Will and his entire family of 7 has migrated to Canada. My sister, Joy, may be moving to the States next year to pursue further studies. My mom is considering downsizing our home for a smaller place that would be easier to manage. And a host of others. Things I hold so familiar and dear, are changing. I am all for change and believe that change is good. But sometimes, change can be unfamiliar and disconcerting too. Sometimes I wish things would just stay the way they were - the way we are used to having them and are comfortable with. But more often than not, there are things beyond our control that acceptance and being positive are the only ways to get through what comes our way.

On my end, I also feel I've changed much over the years. For starters, I feel I am more accepting of what comes my way. My experiences, so far, have taught me, that sometimes no matter how we fight things, we have no control over them. And short of being frustrated and angry with life, we just have to go with the flow and make the best of situations. I used to be a very stubborn and strong willed person. Not to say, I am no longer as determined as before. But I think that with age, I have learned to mellow somewhat and understand that sometimes, we need to take what life sends our way and just live with it. There are always ways to make things better later on.

There are things in my life that I wish were different. But rather than focus on what's wrong, I instead choose to focus on what's right. I have so much to be thankful for and no matter how I look at it, the good things completely outweigh the bad. So instead of making mountains out of molehills and getting exasperated over what is not going my way, I would rather be grateful about what I have and find ways to compensate for what I don't. I think we are all dealt with our share of ups and downs. The only way to be happy is learning to balance the two and manage what we do with what we have.

July

2010-07-28T09:01:00.000-07:00

Wow. It's been almost two weeks since my last post. I am getting L-A-Z-Y! Well, sort of lazy ... it's been busy but I really should find time to blog. The days are just going by so quickly and the last two weeks have been a whirlwind of activities. For starters, Gail and her family were with us and although we didn't get to spend most days together (we were at work and they were at the theme parks), we did manage to have a couple of evenings together. I loved coming home to a full house and having dinner ready =) And of course there was the one night we took them out to dinner at Lucille's, and the other night, they took us out to dinner at Benihana's.

July is also birthday month galore. My hubby celebrates his birthday on the 17th. So does my brother-in-law, Jay. this year they had two separate parties. Jojo treated the family to dinner at Buca di Beppo while Jay had a Hawaiian themed dinner at home. On July 18th was my niece, Danni's, second birthday and she had a swimming party at their place in Cerritos. On the 21st was my other niece's, Maddie's, sixth birthday and we had a dimsum party for her. The 25th is also dad's birthday so we attended a special mass for him. Also, over the weekend, our family friend Mye had a baby shower, and I had a mini-reunion with some high school friends who live on the west coast. It was really nice to catch up with Lei, Jacqui, Mich, Rach and their families. We had a nice lunch at Salo-salo Grill in Glendale which ended past 3 pm (that's how much talking we did!). It was a bit surreal to see them since the last time I did was probably back in high school! I am so glad we are planning another reunion, this time in the Bay Area to include the others who were not able to make it (Monse, Biggs, Gina, etc.).

Work-wise it's been hectic too. We have a huge deadline this coming Sept 15th (we knew it was coming and have preparing for it since May). But all of a sudden we are gripped with a sense of urgency since it is just 6 weeks away. How can it already be the "ber" months?! Also, we have a huge career fair on campus this Thursday and are ultra BUSY making sure everything goes well. Fingers crossed! Jojo's new job is going well. He is so BUSY though which I guess is the trade-off. So far, so good though. He's enjoying the challenge and is psyched to have this opportunity. I'm glad.

On the homefront, we were suppose to get the house fumigated this weekend but may have to postpone it to the following weekend. Jojo is down with a nasty cold and there are just so many things to do before we can get the fumigation started. For one thing, we have to totally empty the fridge and freezer (we have two!). We have not gone grocery shopping for more than two weeks and are eating our way through all the stuff we have! But still, there's a long way to go! Before fumigation starts, we have to pack up all the food in the house, all our medicine, and all our toiletries and cosmetics. Then we need to make sure our valuables are secure since we will be leaving the house at the mercy of the exterminators. We need to call the gas company and make sure the turning off and turning back on of the gas coincides with the fumigation. Not to mention relocating to another place to live for 4 days. SO MUCH HASSLE! =(

Back home in Manila, I'm worrying because my guama has been hospitalized. I am hoping that all is well. I called her while she was confined and was glad I got to talk to her and cheer her up even just a bit. I hope that her fever abates and that she gets to go home soon. Hospitals are just so "argh!" and are no place for the sick (I really think they just make you sicker!). I can't help it - I worry about my mom, and brothers and sisters too - even when I tell myself not to, I can't help it! I know things will work out and we just have to have faith. But sometimes, being human means having doubts, and fears, and worrying. I just try not to let it consume me.

So, that's been my last two weeks. Time is going by so quickly but I can't say I have any regrets. I am just trying hard not to blink too much because there are too many awesome moments that yu don't want to miss anything! =)

The Heat is ON!

2010-07-15T21:18:00.000-07:00

Man! Today was H-O-T! I can't believe that last week temperatures were in the lower 70's during the day and the upper sixties at night. And this week, barely 5 days later, LA hit triple digit highs! Torrance was in the low 90's - which is horrid! I mean, really, it is just beyond bizarre!

Today was so hot and the worst part was our school's air conditioning unit was acting weird. For some reason, it would blow out air that was neither cold nor hot. But since our side of the building faces the morning sun, the billowing not-hot-but-not-cool air started turning warm. It was the kind of dry heat that makes you want to just sit down, do nothing and maybe take a nap. Of course, we all took that as a sign that we could take things easy ... which prompted the Dean to call the air conditioning repair team ... fast! The whole thing was fixed before we could even start to really slack off. Too bad! Haha.

Anyway, my poor husband. Jojo had two of his wisdom teeth extracted last night ... so technically today was his first day of recovery and he had to do it in this awful heat! Luckily he's been taking Vicodin and Ibuprofen - which just make him want to nap and oblivious to the heat!

I miss the cool, temperate weather of Southern California. Especially for us (we live by the beach), we are blessed with year-round comfortable weather. I just wish this heat wave would be over and we could get back to cooler temps - soon!

What's up?!

2010-07-09T21:36:00.000-07:00

Here we go again ... I am now going to go through my apologies as to why I have been delinquent in updating my blog. It has been a really busy last two weeks. I'm not quite sure where the time goes ... it just sort of flies by that I often find myself feeling guilty that with all the things I get done, I have not found time to post. Oh well.

What's new with me? Well, several things actually. There are too many things going through my head so I will simply list them here as they pop into my mind - this list is by no means sequential nor is it by any order of importance.

1.) Jojo has a new job! I am so excited and happy for him. It's a better job (title, pay and commute-wise). He is now the brand new VP of IT. Cool, huh? He is a bit sad to leave his current position but he is excited to start this new adventure as well. I am hoping everything goes well. I am extremely proud of my hubby and know he will keep doing great things.

2.) We bought a new car. The sad part is we sold my reliable Rav-4 which I have had for over 6 years. That car has served me well and was part of many wonderful trips and memories. But sadly, as most things in life, it was time for a change (or rather an upgrade!). I am loving our new car - it's cooler, more luxurious, and definitely worth every penny! =) The new car is actually Jojo's birthday present - but of course, I get to drive it once in a while too =)

3.) My best friend, Gail, and her family (hubby, Clay, and her three kids, Sean, Jake and Kayla) are staying with us on and off for the next three weeks. It's been great. I like seeing the Imoo family as they remind me of what a happy, loving and active family is. I truly admire the way Gail and Clay raise their kids - they are all smart, inquisitive and well-adjusted. Also, it's great to catch up with Gail. We have known each other since we were 12 and have not always been physically together (since she migrated to Canada right after 6th grade). But through the years, we have managed to keep the friendship. Even if we see each other probably every two years, when we do get together, we just pick up pretty much where we left off. It's really nice to have that with someone.

4.) Speaking of long-time friends, we are planning a mini high school reunion with some former classmates living in the west coast. I am excited. We have friends flying in from Houston, Seattle and Sacramento and then there are 5 of us living in Southern California. It'll be nice to catch up and meet each others' families. I can't wait till the weekend of the 25th!

5.) We finally decided to get our home fumigated. And some remodeling and repainting too. We'll be spending a three-day weekend with my sister-in-law while our home gets beautified. I am thinking of it as a mini-vacation of sorts!

6.) Yesterday was graduation at our campus. It was a simple but festive affair. I actually got quite emotional seeing the students I have been working with these last 3 months, walk across the stage to receive their diplomas. I felt super proud (I am not quite sure why!). After the event, several students introduced me to their parents, wives, kids, etc and gave me credit for helping them with their career goals or with finding a job. I received praise and thanks (and even a big hug from a grateful mother-in-law). It was really heartwarming and I was really extra touched. Again, I am loving my job because it allows me to have moments like this and gives me the chance to help change lives.

7.) I got an unexpected text last night from a friend I have not heard from in a long time. (Hey M! You know who you are!!!). She wrote to tell me she read my blog and came across my last post regarding donating blood and she was inspired to do so herself. She (like me) has also experienced how the kindness of others (blood donations from volunteers) saved the life of a loved one. So she knows exactly what it means to have to give back. I was so happy to get her text and her extra long message ... and thrilled too that my "blog" managed to inspire her to do something good. Who would have thought that my mundane ramblings had the power to inspire? =)

8.) Spent 4th of July weekend doing things I enjoyed. Friday night was girl's night out (all my sisters-in-law and I - that's 6 of us!) watched Eclipse. It felt great to have an all-female bonding session. Of course we all love our husbands but once in a while, you just need to have your share of girl talk! On Sunday, we picnicked with the entire family in Veterans Park (and played volleyball and flew kites). Then Jojo and I spent the last day just lazing around at home (I got to read!). Perfect weekend for me!

Hmmm ... what else? I am now drawing a blank. And will have to pick this up again ... I am sure I am forgetting something ... and whatever it is I will have to share it at another time because right now Jojo is calling me to watch a DVD.

Till next time!

Blood Drive

2010-06-28T21:27:00.000-07:00

Last Friday our campus hosted a blood drive. Our department was in-charge of the affair and we worked with Red Cross of Southern California to make sure we had enough volunteers. Basically, all we had to do was advertise the event to the students and local businesses. Red Cross did everything else - including providing awesome incentives for volunteers.

The blood drive started at 12:00 noon and went on till 6:00 pm. We had a pretty good turn out and Red Cross was able to meet their required blood donation quota for the day.

Red Cross had a high-tech bus that was set up in our campus' parking lot. It was really very high-tech inside but I didn't get to take a picture (it was a little busy inside and I didn't want to get in any one's way). But outside, they had a snack counter and chairs for people to sit and wait.

Here is a picture of the Career Services team. We were really glad that turn-out was good and that we were able to help Red Cross meet their quota.

I was really nervous to donate blood. But I volunteered to do it first of all because it is for a good cause. And second because I wanted to "pay back" all the blood that was donated to my dad when he needed it. Back then, we totally relied on the kindness of volunteers. I promised myself that when I get the chance I would donate blood in honor of my dad and everyone who gave blood to him. So even if I was scared (and really very nervous), I psyched myself up to just do it! (I had a long conversation with my dad while I was walking to the bus to donate and at one point, I honestly felt my dad was right there with me).

The process starts with signing up and showing your ID. Then you fill a 10-item computerized questionnaire about your health and general well-being. Then they weigh you, take your blood pressure and then you get poked in the finger with a needle. They take a sample of blood that is tested. It takes about 2 minutes.

In the end, it turns out I was not qualified to donate blood. My iron level was considered "low". The normal range is 12.1 to 15.1, but in order to donate one needs to be at a 12.5. I was a 12.2. So even if I was within the "normal range", I was low for the "donor range". They did take my contact information and I told them I would donate the next time they were in Torrance.

Even if I did not qualify to donate blood, I did get all the goodies. I got a Red Cross t-shirt, coupons for free Wahoo fish tacos, two tickets to The Laugh Factory (a comedy club in Hollywood), a chance to win a $500 gas card, and unlimited snacks and drinks.

The next time there is a blood drive in your area ... I would strongly encourage you to go and donate. It truly is an opportunity for you to help save lives.

Termites

2010-06-23T09:14:00.000-07:00

Okay, so the verdict is we have termites. =( It's not so bad. It's not an infestation and we don't have crumbling walls and beams ... yet. But we definitely need to get this problem treated ... soon. Anyway, we had a pest control specialist come out to assess the situation and to give us recommendations. He basically outlined two options for us. The first is to do a total fumigation. The cost would be about $1,900. It would also mean we would have to bag all our food, medicine, make-up and anything that could be contaminated. Then they would tent our home and we would have to vacate for 3 days and 2 nights. After that, they gas up the house and make sure they get rid of all the termites. This comes with a 7 year guarantee.

The second option is the orange oil treatment. It is a natural product that they inject into the wooded parts of the house. We don't need to move out nor do we need to bag anything up. Cost is $1,500 but the duration is only 14 days (until the oil dissipates). They offer a 2 year guarantee to come back if the problem comes back.

We have two other pest control companies coming over today and tomorrow. I want to see if everyone has the same assessment and be able to compare prices. Then, I guess it will be time to decide what to do. My gut feel is telling me to do the more radical treatment (total fumigation) so that we really eliminate the problem. But I'm not so sure how I feel about poisonous gas in our home. I am doing some research on the internet for additional back-up.

Anyway, we'll probably know in the next day or so. I am hoping we can get this done over the 3-day Independence Day weekend. Crossing my fingers that it all works out!

Updates

2010-06-16T09:53:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since my last post. I know. I have been really busy and have not had the time to just sit and write to my heart's content. I don't know where the time goes but it just never seems to be enough. My sister-in-law was laughing with me the other day about this very topic. She knew exactly what I meant when I said, I know I have 24 hours in a day (just like everyone else) but it seems when I get going, my days get much shorter and the hours just fly right on by! To think I don't even have kids yet and already it seems like I am juggling a whole boatload of stuff!

I don't mean to complain about this. I am sure everyone else in the world feels this way at some point. And I don't think I am taking on much more than I can chew. But I just want to get so many things done and I have so many things planned that I just wish I had an extra 4 or 5 hours a day (or that I could run on less than 7 hours of sleep a night!). Oh well. Prioritizing is pretty much the name of the game ... and compromising, I guess.

What have I been up to? Well, of course the largest chunk of my day goes to work. There is a lot to do and thankfully I enjoy my job - otherwise it would be torture to have to go to work and count the hours till it's time to go home. I am also considering the possibility of teaching a few courses in the evenings. I know I should think about this carefully since it is going to be extra work - but I think I'll enjoy it and I am being considered for it. Most likely though (if everything can be worked out), it will be some time in September (when the Fall Semester starts). Our dean has discussed my possibly handling some introduction business classes or one of our senior professional portfolio classes. I guess we'll see.

Other than work, it's pretty much running the household. Just making sure all the chores are done (not often but regularly). I used to do laundry every couple of days when I was not working. Now we try to do it every other weekend. Last weekend, we were so busy running around that we realized it was already Sunday night and it had been 2 weeks since we did any laundry. I know that laundry is overrated since it's really just throwing stuff into the machine. But there's the sorting before the loading into the machine, then the transfering to the dryer, then the sorting after the dryer, then the folding of clothes and hanging of suits, then putting everything away, and then the ironing of those pieces that are way too wrinkled. Anyway, long story short, we were too lazy to load up the washing machine. Jojo didn't have any decent work socks for the coming week, so our solution was to buy a 6-pack of black tube socks at Target. (Please DON'T judge us ... to be fair, Jojo needed to get new socks anyway!). Haha.

Also, there's preparing meals. In an effort to be healthier, we try to eat most meals at home. But that requires first of all, having the ingredients on hand. Which requires going to the supermarket. After that, there's making sure meats are defrosted at least a couple of hours before. Slicing, dicing, chopping, mincing of veggies. Boiling, steaming, frying, sauteing, and broiling homemade creations. And waiting endless minutes till the brown rice is ready or using multi-grain bread as a quick and easy alternative. Then there's the washing of dishes! Not only the dishes we ate out of, but the dishes and utensils used for prepping and cooking. I've solved a little bit of the problem and have eliminated serving dishes. I just serve the food in the pans or woks I used to cook them. I know Ina Garten would be cringing at my lack of domestic skills right about now. But hey, you gotta do, what you gotta do!

Where else does my time go? Well, I try to find time with family and friends ... spend time with my husband (we did watch The A-Team last Sunday - which was pretty good). I still try to go to the gym (which is down to 2 times a week instead of 5 times a week). I have given up volunteer work but am looking at doing something where I can maybe go every other week or some evenings. I don't watch a lot of tv anymore but there are some shows I absolutely can not miss - but I'm probably avergaing about 5-6 hours of tv a week (so it's not much but not something I can give up altogether either). We have a few household projects we're working on. We need to get our home fumigated for termites (it's more of a precaution really). We are also planning to get the exterior of the house painted. And there's still my dream of a kitchen renovation. So we've been meeting with a couple of contractors. I've been trying to blog and write in my spare time. I've been quite horrible at getting back to people via email and I plan to rectify that as soon as I have some time to sit down and just devote time to replying to everyone I owe a reply to! I am thinking of taking online classes at Cal State to see if I could get certified as a career counselor. Maybe in the Fall but am still working that out. I've been babysitting a few days here and there. Just my nieces and nephews. Jojo and I have started working on our garden. Now that it's almost summer, we don't want to be the only house on our block growing weeds! We are planning another garage sale soon so I've been sorting through our stuff and setting aside the ones that can still be considered as "sellable".

I have been taking time to read and just relax too. Ironically I've been quite busy finding time to relax. I think that's just the way things work these days. You have to add "find time to relax" to your to-do list ... otherwise, you just never have the time to get that done!

P.S. BY THE WAY, TODAY IS ALSO MY MOM'S BIRTHDAY. HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the best mom anyone could ever be blessed to have =) I love you, mom. And I hope that you have an awesome birthday. Wish you were here or I was there ... or that we could meet half-way (like maybe in Hawaii) and celebrate together! But know, that I send my love and prayers for you ... and your box of delish olive oils are en route to Manila =)

Work

2010-06-06T22:40:00.000-07:00

Now that the weekend is almost over and I am facing another challenging week at work, I find myself sitting here and evaluating the last 7 weeks I've been working at my "new" job. So far, things have been going well. I pretty much have the hang of things and my training period is over. I am able to function almost completely on my own (except for a few questions here and there). I enjoy my job and have to say this is (out of all my past professions), probably my most favorite one of all. I've had quite a bit of professional titles and occupations. I started as a pre-school teacher, worked as a fine jewelry sales manager, did time as a jewelry merchandiser too. I worked as a research assistant and as an admissions representative while in graduate school. There was also the market research internship I did while in Berkeley. Then there was my almost 3 years as an organizational development and HR consultant. And then my more than 2 years as a Training Manager for a bank.

My current job is my favorite for a number of reasons. For starters, it is a rewarding profession. I find myself very much motivated that I am able to make a small difference in the lives of others. Another reason is while the work is busy and challenging, it is not a difficult job. I get a lot of satisfaction in doing what I do. Third, I work with a variety of very interesting people. There is never a dull day at work. Colleagues, students, clients ... I meet a lot of cool and not-so-cool folks! And lastly, the commute is awesome. I can leave the house 10 minutes before my shift and get home 10 minutes after I leave the office. Not only that, I am actually able to go home for lunch every single day. That is truly a luxury that I can not even begin to describe!

Of course, there are also "down" sides that keep this from being the "perfect" job (does that really exist!?). As with any job, there are goals that need to be met. I get that and am not opposed to having goals. In my role as part of Career Services, we are meant to get students jobs after graduation and the only thing our supervisors care about is how many employments we get. They don't care how many students are helped in other ways or how many employers we network with. They don't care how long the process takes and that in many cases it is all about building relationships. I have to stress over and over again that there are so many factors that need to work out and so many puzzle pieces that need to fall into place before an employment is made. But they don't want to hear it! All they want to know is "did you get a student employed today?". I guess I am starting to understand that even if I work for a college (an institution for higher learning and professional development), the bottomline is it is still a business and it is still run like one. I just have to get into that frame of thinking and stop being so idealistic! I need to stop getting too personally involved and just do the job. I am trying. Also, compensation-wise, it is not nearly as much as what I used to make. What an understatement =) That is a bummer, of course! But ultimately, I really think that in terms of money, I have learned my lesson well. I can honestly practice what I preach when I say that money is important but it is NOT the most important thing in the world! When you have a job you like, a career you can see yourself staying in, a company you are happy with ... well, salary still counts (I don't think I would want to or could afford to work for free!) but it is not as high on the list of priorities as it once was for me.

Three-Day Weekend

2010-05-31T20:09:00.000-07:00

The Memorial Day weekend is almost over. Three days of no work. We didn't really have any plans this weekend. For starters, we figured that everyone would be going out of town and it would be extra crowded in most major vacation spots. We were right - we have been hearing horror stories of people stuck on the freeways going to and from Las Vegas, San Diego, San Francisco, etc, etc. Also, the weather was really warm this weekend. Of course, for me, that means staying indoors where it's nice and cool. Lastly, we thought we'd stay in this weekend since we spent last weekend in Temecula.

So, what did we do for the last three days? Well, we did run a few errands (getting the car checked, going to Costco, picking up dry cleaning, etc). We also did some stuff around the house (laundry, tidying up, and cleaning out the garage). But other than that, we just relaxed and took it easy. We slept in, spent most of the day in pajamas, watched movies, ate in local favorites, cooked together (we made adobo flakes!), got massages, went to the gym, and took long walks.

My 3-day weekend indulgence was curling up with two good books - "Falling Leaves" by Adeline Yen Mah and "The Calligrapher's Daughter" by Georgina Kim. Jojo's indulgence was buying two new Wii games (Ghost Squad and Mortal Combat) and playing to his heart's content. It was blissful luxury to just stay in and not have anything on the agenda.

It reminded me of my childhood and how my family chose to stay home during the 4-day Holy Week celebration. While most of our friends would vacation in Baguio, Hong Kong, Boracay, etc, we chose to have our very own "staycation". We would have lots of DVDs to watch, mom wold make good food, and we played endless games of Boggle or Scrabble. On Good Friday, we would go around to local churches and pray the Stations of the Cross. Afterwards, we would try to find a restaurant that was open. Since there are not a lot of places open during Holy Week, my family would end up eating in places we normally don't go. One year we found ourselves at Shakeys Pizza in Greenhills where we were served garlic cheese pizza, mojo potatoes and a big pitcher of rootbeer by Chuck. (Not only was it hard to find a place that was open, but we also could not eat meat on Good Friday which made eating out a little bit of a challenge!). These were simple times but I remember them fondly.

This Memorial Day weekend, everyone we knew had plans to go somewhere but Jojo and I chose to have our very own "staycation" - and frankly, I think it turned out pretty well. =)

Weekend in Temecula

2010-05-23T16:27:00.000-07:00

Our weekend started with a pool party. It was my nephew, Jeremy's, 7th birthday and his parents threw him a pool party. They even rented a water slide! The weather was still quite cool and so we had to start the party at noon when the sun was at its brightest otherwise it was too chilly for the kids to go swimming!

Here's Maddie landing in the pool and after splashing everyone! The kids had an awesome time. The adults did too even if we just sat by the patio, eating and chatting, while watching the kids hoot and holler in the water!

There was also a pool set up where the kids could play. It was a great day for a swimming party.

We left Jeremy's party a little after two. We were on our way to Temecula when we stopped at the Lake Elsinore premium outlets. What is an out-of-town trip without a quick stop at the outlet mall? I stocked up on a few things at Bath and Body Works. We bought a belated birthday present for Jeremy. Jojo was debating on getting a pair of leather shoes at Bass while I found a great pair of shoes at Naturalizer ($40.00 for a really nice pair of high-heeled pumps - 50% off!).

The whole reason we were spending the weekend in Temecula was to watch the stand-up comedy performance of Ray Romano and Brad Garrett at the Pechanga Casino and Resort. I have been looking forward to this show for about a month! After checking in at a nearby hotel, we had a quick dinner at the Pechanga food court and headed to the theater to find our seats.

Jojo and I had great seats. Here we are taking pictures of ourselves before the show started.

The entire show lasted about an hour and forty minutes. Jojo and I (and the entire audience) were laughing the entire time. There were times when I laughed so hard, my jaw started to hurt and tears rolled down my cheeks. It is an understatement to say "it was truly a great evening". The show ended with Ray Romano and Brad Garrett coming on stage to answer a few questions from the audience. Also, they showed some never-before-seen clips of their hit tv show "Everybody Loves Raymond".

The next day (Sunday) we walked over to Old Town Temecula which was exactly an 8-minute walk from out hotel. We've been to Old Town before and enjoy the atmosphere there. It was a gorgeous day! The sun was out but it was not too sunny (just the perfect degree of brightness for someone like me who doesn't care too much for sunshine!). The temps were very cool (upper sixties) and so the walk was pleasant. Old Town Temecula is made up of several streets lined with quaint shops, coffee houses and restaurants. We browsed some of our favorites like the gourmet cheese shop, the lavender store (which smells just divine!), the beautifully decorated boutique that sells gorgeous Christmas decors (where my mom bought me gorgeous tree ornaments the last time we visited), and my dad's favorite the Rootbeer shop (which sells every imaginable variety and brand of rootbeer).

Of course we had to stop at the Temecula Olive Oil Company. This is one of my mom's favorite gourmet shops. They make a variety of wonderfully fresh olive oils. It is so fresh that they actually have an olive oil tasting bar. I know it sounds kinda gross to be sipping olive oil - but theirs has such a wonderful, buttery taste. They also have a variety of other delicious products like spreads, vinegars, herb blends, sea salts, olives and more.

The goods at the Olive Oil Company are a bit pricey but definitely a luxury that is so worth it! After a lot of tasting and with the recommendation of the super friendly staff, we ended up buying two kinds of spreads. An asiago, parmesan, garlic spread that sounds as good as it tastes (it is wonderful with hot, crusty bread!). And a caramelized red onion and fig spread that we plan to slather over grilled fish or chicken. We also got ourselves olive oil and balsamic vinegar (not in the picture). In addition to our splurges, we got mom's birthday present - an assortment of the four varieties of the 2010 olive oil harvest - Olivum (original flavor), Roasted Garlic, Fresh Basil and Citrus Reserve. We're sending this via balikbayan box and it may get to Manila a few weeks after your birthday, Mom - but know that it's coming!

Chicken Inasal

2010-05-18T21:58:00.000-07:00

I had to work late tonight and was dreading the thought of coming home to a sink full of dishes (I was running late this morning so our breakfast dishes were not done). Also, a late night at work usually means a hurried dinner of either sandwiches with a variety of cold cuts or a can of soup heated in the microwave.

Tonight, I got the shock of my life. As I pulled up our driveway, Jojo was standing on our porch already welcoming me home. I followed him into the house and saw he had tidied up. The mail had been put away. The sink was clear (not a dirty dish in sight) and he had dinner almost ready.

And by dinner, I don't mean the usual sandwiches and canned soup ... he had actually made one of my favorite dishes ever ... chicken inasal. Yes, CHICKEN INASAL! He had researched on the internet how to do it and had bought the ingredients the last time we were at the supermarket. All with the intention of springing this surprise the next time I had to stay late at work.

Jojo is amazing. He got home exactly 1 hour and 20 minutes before me but he managed to clean up, wash the dishes, cook the rice, marinate the chicken and was actually grilling it in our backyard when I arrived. I only had time to wash up and change into pajamas before he called me to dinner. This is what we had:

Let me tell you that even if that chicken tasted like cardboard, I would have eaten it up because (number one) I was starving and (number two) my husband went to so much trouble to prepare the meal. But the icing on the cake was the chicken tasted really good. And I'm not just saying that because Jojo is going to read this post. It really was good! Juicy, succulent and tasty. Not exactly like the original Chicken Inasal from Bacolod ... but definitely an original Chicken Inasal from Torrance =)

Today is our 5th year and 5th month wedding anniversary (and our 11th year and 9th month anniversary since we started dating) ... but he still manages to surprise me and make things interesting!

Thanks, Ni! You are AWESOME =)

Odds and Ends

2010-05-16T20:30:00.001-07:00

We had lunch with Atsi and Mark today. We decided that since they live so far away, it's hard for them to have to drive all the way to Torrance. We met them in Huntington Beach instead. There were several restaurants in the Bella Terra complex (where we decided to meet) but we settled on lunch at the California Pizza Kitchen. Even if I've lived in California for the last 9 years, this is only my second time to eat at CPK here (I've eaten in the CPK chains in Manila far more often!).

I used to really like CPK but after today ... not so much. We ordered a pesto cream pasta with grilled chicken and sweet peppers. It was very so-so. Jojo told me I could probably cook a better version than what we had. We also had a pizza with "The Works" and while it was not terrible, it definitely tasted like DiGiorno frozen pizza. I definitely could not taste the difference when CPK's was supposedly baked in a wood-burning oven. The pizza and pasta dishes were a bit disappointing. The only saving grace was the salad. We ordered a miso salad which came with fresh chopped veggies, edemame, crisp wonton strips, daikon, and instead of crab and shrimp (which Atsi doesn't eat) we had cold chicken. It was yummy and very refreshing. We all liked it but Atsi did say mom's miso dressing is still much better!

We also had a chocolate, banana cake withh ice cream for dessert. This was pretty good too. But then again when has chocolate cake and ice cream ever been bad?

So, CPK was a bit of a disappointment ... but it was nice to catch up with Atsi while Jojo and Mark watched the NBA game at the restaurant's bar. After lunch we walked across the parking lot to Kohls department store before calling it a day and heading our separate ways.

In other news ... I don't think I've mentioned this in my blog just yet. But a few weeks ago, Jojo won a raffle. First of all, how lucky is that? I must have joined a hundred raffles in my life and have never won anything. Jojo was asked to participate in a raffle at the very last minute (he was literally the last contestant to be entered in the draw before they picked the winner). And he wins the grand prize. A Toshiba, 37-inch flat screen, high definition, LCD television. Talk about LUCKY. Anyway, we got the television last week and considered selling it so we could get the set we wanted. I thought it was too small for the family room but too big for our bedroom (our tv stand is right across our bed). But since we didn't have any interested buyers, we ended up keeping it. Last night Jojo and his brothers installed it in our family room. It turns out, it's just the right size. Now our old tv set is in the garage (where the kids use it to play Wii), we're keeping the same tv in our bedroom, and we have a brand, spankin' new tv in the family room! =)

Lastly, I've been sort of going through an "Asian Lit" phase these last few weeks. Not only have I re-read some of my favorite Asian authors (Lisa See, Gail Tsukiyama, Anchee Min, Shan Sa, Aravind Adiga, Amy Tan, and Mineko Iawasaki), I've also re-read several of my favorite Asian-themed books by non-Asian authors (Arthur Golden, Liza Dalby, Pearl Buck, etc). I don't know why but I go through these phases where I only read books from a certain genre at a given time. It's a quirk, I know. Recently Jojo got me a book entitled Falling Leaves by Adeline Yen Mah. It's Asian-themed and by an Asian author so I am super excited to start reading it. The thing with me and books, though, is I can not start reading a book if I don't have the time to finish it. I rarely start a new book unless I have a whole afternoon or better yet, a whole day with nothing else planned and the luxury of just reading. So even if I've had this beautiful book on my nightstand for the last few days, I've been re-reading my old books while waiting for the right time to start this new one. I am looking forward to the Memorial Day weekend to savor Falling Leaves. It's a 3-day weekend which will surely leave me with at least an afternoon of uninterrupted reading bliss! =)

The First Year

2010-05-15T22:25:00.000-07:00

Today is the first year anniversary of my dad's passing. Instead of being sad and depressed, we chose to be happy and to celebrate the day. I know my dad and he would never have wanted us to remember him in sadness but would rather we keep happy thoughts and fond memories of his life. Today was all about you, Dad. We hosted a small dinner at home with just family. We started the evening by lighting candles and saying prayers. Everyone was very solemn and participated in the simple ceremony. After prayers, we gathered together for dinner.

I was really extra busy this week, plus I had to work today. Even with everything I had going on, I wanted to make this as home-cooked as possible. After all, I was doing this for my dad (and I know how much he loved my mom's home-cooked parties at our place). So this whole week, every night after work, I would do a little preparation - a little bit of cleaning, cooking, shopping and decorating. Luckily everything came together rather well.

We started the meal with smoked salmon served on multi-grain crisps, topped with creamy tartar sauce and a dash of freshly squeezed lemon. One of my dad's favorite dishes! (pardon the picture ... it makes the fish look somewhat rubbery when in fact it was very fresh!).

I also had a salad - which was a crowd favorite. Now I know this had to be good because Jojo's family normally doesn't like salads -- but tonight this was the first serving dish that was stripped bare! This is my mom's kani salad topped with Japanese mayo and a light dressing of balsamic vinegar and olive oil (served on the side). Easy to make and good for you too.

I served Bourbon Chicken. I didn't actually cook this dish. But I did bake it, garnish it, and serve it! Even with a very strict schedule and a very rigid to-do list, there is only so much I can do =) Thank God for Costco and the prepared food aisles!

It was mom's idea for me to serve baked spaghetti. She was right when she told me that this was a pasta dish I could pre-cook and heat on the day of the party. I didn't have time to make the bechamel topping though - luckily it was also good without it. Thanks for the recipe, mom!

For dessert, I prepared a do-it-yourself sundae bar. I had waffle bowls, two kinds of ice cream (French Vanilla and Dark Chocolate). Plus toppings galore (sprinkles, crushed oreo cookies, chopped nuts, mini marshmallows, chocolate syrup and whipped cream!). Yummy!

Everyone had a great time making their own sundaes. It seems the adults even more than the kids!

Here's everyone who came to remember dad! Thank you to my Ordinario family for honoring my dad's memory and for joining my family in celebrating my dad's life.

P.S. While we were reciting prayers, we all heard a strong gust of wind blow right outside the window. My brother in law, Lee, said that was dad making his presence felt. Yes, I know that was you, Pops. I don't need a loud gust of wind to tell me that you are here. I know you are with always with us and that our family is still complete. I love you very much, Dad. Now and always.

Today Was a Good Day

2010-05-11T21:33:00.000-07:00

Today was a good day ... I got one of our students placed ... and I am thrilled. As I've posted before, my job is helping our students find employment. Doing that is not really as easy as it sounds. I basically have to work with a lot of students - help them write resumes, facilitate interview preparation workshops for them, teach them networking techniques and even assist them with picking their wardrobe when they go for their interviews. At the same time, I am also networking with local businesses - making presentations, sending emails, making phone calls, finding job opportunities, making sure they think of our school when they have vacancies.

Then, when the day comes and one of those companies does have a job opening, they send me a job order which basically lists all the job requirements. I then go through the database of all our graduates to see who is ready and who fits the requirements. I pick maybe 4 or 5 and send their information to the employer. Once the employer decides who they want to interview, I notify the students and work on coordinating everyone's schedules so they can meet. Before and after each interview, I meet with each and every student to make sure they are ready and to get feedback. I also speak regularly with the employer to make sure we are meeting their needs and to get their comments regarding the students they have met. There are a lot of hits and misses but sometimes, when all the i's are dotted and all the t's are crossed (and when the stars align and the heavens smile down on us), one of our students gets hired.

Believe me, it is a LOOOONG process and there is so much work done in between. There are countless forms to fill out, countless games of phone tag, and numerous emails going back and forth. I have to keep track of so many things - I have to-do lists within my to-do lists and I have both electronic and paper organizers! The thing is I have several groups of students, several employers, several job orders and several positions I am working on all at the same time. Many times, I have to listen to complaints or gripes and I have to soothe egos and tempers. Job searching and recruiting is not easy and both sides get frustrated. On top of that, well, as with any job, I also have goals (number of students employed, number of employers added to the career bank, number of job leads, number of classes taught or workshops given, etc., etc.). It is definitely busy and definitely challenging to say the least. But most of all, it is definitely rewarding especially when you are able to make a match between a good company and a good student.

My placing a student today was the result of a lot of work. But her smiling face, her note of thanks and her excitement at finding a job that will help her pay off her student loans, help her get off welfare and help her support her family - well that is reward enough to keep doing what I'm doing =)

Mother's Day

2010-05-09T22:19:00.000-07:00

Happy Mother's Day to the best mom in the whole wide world - my dearest Mooder! And of course to all the other moms out there. To my mother-in-law, my sisters-in-law (Marik, Vange, Trace, Edel and Len). To my grandmothers (ama and guama). All my aunts and titas too. And of course, all my friends who are blessed to be called "moms".

The world is a better place because of moms. It starts when you are very young. Moms teach you to sings songs, tuck you into bed, soothe your aches and pains, bake you cookies, fix your hair, dress you in frilly dresses and take you to interesting places. When you get a bit older, moms attend all your open houses and sit through countless parent-teacher meetings, tutor you after school, cook dinner for your friends, go shopping with you and throw you fabulous birthday parties. When you become a teenager, moms listen when you tell them about your crushes, help you get over a broken heart, giggle with you over the silliest things, go shopping with you when you need a dress for the prom. And moms even love you enough to ground you when you get bad grades or when you get caught sneaking out of the house.

After college, when you get your first job, moms support you by attending all your trade shows, pack you lunch every single day, wait up for you even when you get home really late at night and they always want to know where you are going (even if you think you are old enough not to have to tell them!). When you move out of the house for the first time, moms help you get settled into your new apartment, teach you how to do household chores (like laundry, and cleaning, and cooking, and how to make the bed!). Moms even attend your graduate school orientation with you - even if you are the only 26 year-old with her mom in the room with her. When you get married, moms are there to help you pick your wedding dress, to shop for your wedding registry, to help you plan the menu, to make sure you have gorgeous wedding invitations and give-aways. Moms (and whole families) even go with you on your honeymoon and help make it a truly special event. And even when you are in your mid-thirties, moms come over for visits (that are MUCH TOO SHORT) and welcome you into their homes whenever you want some good home-cooking. Moms still give great advice, help you plan your dinner party menus, share tips on how to keep a good home, listen when you need to unburden and encourage you when you are feeling low.

I am truly blessed and very lucky to have a mom who did all these for me - and so much more. But the best part is she does it all so selflessly, never expecting anything in return. She does it so willingly, never needing to be asked. She does it so whole-heartedly, never giving less than a hundred percent. And she does it so naturally, never giving me reason to doubt that I have the best mom in the whole wide world. Thank you so much, mom - for all that you do, all that you say, all that that you give, all that you teach, and all that you are. Thank you for opening up to me, sharing your hopes and dreams, and letting me know when you need me too. Thank you for sometimes (and not nearly as often as I'd like), giving me the opportunity to give back to you too. And Mooder, even if I don't say it often enough, I hope you know that I love you very, very much and I am so grateful to have you in my life.

Theater

2010-05-03T09:03:00.001-07:00

Last Saturday, we all went to watch a gala performance at the James Armstrong theater in Torrance. The reason we all were there was to see my two nieces, Meredith and Madeline, as they performed in their very first play. The play was actually a production of "The Wizard of Oz" by a local theater group. Since the group was encouraging young kids to join the theater, they have created special roles for the kids to play in their production. Both my nieces, along with several other kids, played the roles of Munchkins (those cute little folks that inhabit the land of Oz).

All in all, the play was very amusing. It was by no means a Broadway production. But the cast was talented, the sounds and lighting were good and the set was well done. Of course the highlight was seeing Merdie and Maddie singing "Ding-dong, the Witch is Dead" and joining the whole cast in singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow". Both my nieces were really quite good - not shy at all - and amazingly able to keep in tune and follow the steps. We were so proud! Both of them are so eager to sign up for the summer production (they are featuring "Annie" which would be perfect for them!). Luckily their parents are supportive of this and are open to letting their kids join these great opportunities.

I remember when we were younger, my parents enrolled us in all sorts of extra-curricular activities as well. In my case, I had taken ballet and piano lessons. I was enrolled in gymnastics, badminton and swimming. I even took speed reading, finger math and creative writing classes. I took up Public Speaking at Dale Carnegie and was even enrolled in a course for young women that taught us good manners, proper etiquette and how to be good homemakers! There was also that summer where Jules and I were enrolled in a Fookien speaking class.

My brothers and sisters had their share of classes too. Between the 4 of them there were tennis, golf, swimming, badminton, karate and taekwando classes. They have taken painting, photography, piano, and guitar lessons. There were summers of taking theater lessons at Repertory and of taking trips to China to learn Mandarin. There is probably more than I am forgetting. My parents were very big proponents of us getting a good education both in and out of school. They believed that it was always in a child's best interest to learn as much as they can and to be exposed to as many things that are beneficial to their development.

I will always be super grateful to my parents for giving me the opportunities I had while I was growing up. No matter how short-lived some of those classes were, they all have shaped me into who I am today.