Menudo

Today I made menudo, a dish from my childhood. I’ve eaten it countless times growing up. In our house, it was not a special dish that was served at parties. Instead it was an everyday dish that my mom or the maids would prepare for regular days. Just simple comfort food.

FYI, Filipino menudo is very different from Mexican menudo. But mine is not quite the Pinoy version either. For my take on menudo, I skipped the atay (I hate liver), omitted raisins (Jamie hates raisins), didn’t add potatoes (we had none in the pantry), added green peas (cause the dish looked way too red), and used sausage instead of hotdogs.

It looks close enough and still tastes like home. While eating it, it made me homesick for the fun family meals we had back home. 😢😢😢 Missing my dad, mom, my brothers and sisters, and the many friends always present, gathered around our giant dining table. It’s amazing how the taste and smell of a dish can bring you home. ❤️❤️❤️

Not Fighting My Child's Battles

The other day, I picked Jamie up from school and right away noticed she wasn’t her usual bubbly self.  I gently pried to find out why as she was hesitant to open up right away.  Turns out during play time, she was in the sand pit playing with her friends Isabella and Brooklyn (I. and B.).  When her two friends ran off, Jamie couldn’t find them, so she turned and started playing with one of her first grade friends.  Later, I. and B. came back and told Jamie they wanted to resume playing (they had raced off thinking Jamie was following them).  Jamie couldn’t just then as she was finishing building sand pits with her first grade playmate.  Once she finished though, she ran towards I. and B. to let them know they could all play together again.  Well, by that time, I. (the more outspoken and more assertive of the two) said “No, you can’t play with us anymore.  You picked someone else.”.  Jamie tried to follow them and explain.  And I. loudly said “Stop following us. Go away.  If you follow us, I’m going to put red ants on you”.  Then when Jamie tried again, I. leaned towards the ground to pick up red ants.  So, Jamie just walked away. 

Ordinarily, other kids would shrug it off.  But Jamie is very sensitive to things like rejection.  Also, it isn’t the first time I. has been domineering towards her.  And so, it deeply affected Jamie to the point that she started crying when she retold the story to me.  My first reaction was to go all “mama bear” and hunt down I. to tell her off.  But I calmed down enough to think rationally.  I thought about bringing this up to Mrs. Sitter (the 2^nd grade teacher) or even the school principal.  However, it was (as of now) an isolated incident and I didn’t think it was fair to get anyone in trouble for that.  Also, I didn’t want to be that kind of mom who makes mountains out of molehills because someone made her daughter cry in the playground.  Lastly, I didn’t want to give Jamie the impression that I would “fight all her battles” for her and that she could just sit back and just let mommy deal with her problems.  As much as I wanted to do it for her, I think being a good mom is allowing your kids to learn to deal with things their way (while standing in the background and cheering them on!).

So, I let it go.  But made sure I explained to Jamie that what I. did (being mean) and what B. did (being passive to someone being mean) is not right and definitely not something I’d want her to do.  Then I explained that she needs to stand up for herself too.  That means either speaking up and confronting someone or in some cases, just walking away when confrontation is futile or will just escalate things.  I explained that in life there are little battles we go through and we just need to pick and choose what are worth fighting over.  Winning is not always being the loudest in arguing, or most dominant person, in some cases, it could be the better person is the one that just lets things go and moves on with their lives.  But at the end of it all, I told her, that the person who does things with kindness is the person who ends up being the winner.  It seems to have resonated with Jamie and she seems to understand what I was trying to say.  She also said it would probably better to just hang out with her other friends (she has many others!) rather than with I. or even B., at this time.

P.S. For anyone curious as to what happened next, read on:  I should have mentioned, I.’s mom is someone I have gotten friendly with over the last year or so.  She and I text regularly about the girls and random school stuff.  Anyway, the next text I sent, I casually brought up what happened.  I made it VERY CLEAR that I was not accusing her daughter of anything but only that her daughter’s actions had hurt Jamie.  I told her I was sad because the girls are such good friends.  I.’s mom was very gracious and very apologetic.  She said that I. did admit to doing those things and was also sorry.  In fact, she wanted to video chat with Jamie to apologize.  (Also, I later heard that I. got in trouble when her dad found out what happened.  I. is grounded from using her Ipad and watching tv for a week so she will remember to use kind word (her mom said).   

44 random little things that make me happy:

1. Staying in during cold, rainy days
2. Starting a new book that I’ve been waiting to read
3. Mommy and Jamie time
4. Finishing a bath and then brushing my teeth
5. Crisp, new sheets when I climb into bed
6. First bite of my favorite meal
7. Mindless Christmas movies on the Hallmark channel
8. Finding an item that I love on Clearance Sale
9. Shopping in home goods stores
10. Dinners in with good friends that end with too much laughing
11. The reveal portion of home design tv shows
12. Weekends with Jojo and Jamie – and having no plans
13. Hearty meals simmering all day in the crock pot
14. The smell of rain or freshly mowed grass
15. My mom’s home cooking
16. The fit of two-day old jeans
17. Good hair days
18. Online shopping – except for books
19. Shopping for books in a bookstore
20. Sleeping in
21. Starting the day with Filipino breakfasts (“silogs” are the best)
22. An ice-cold glass of Diet Coke on a warm day
23. Wearing pajamas all day
24. Falling asleep with Jojo (it’s honestly hard for me to sleep without him)
25. Hotpot dinners
26. Scented candles
27. Colored gel pens
28. Stationery and pretty notebooks
29. Journaling / blogging
30. Singing along to a song I love while driving
31. Songs from my favorite Broadway shows
32. Romcoms that affirm true love still exists
33. Meet ups with close girlfriends
34. Shopping with my sisters
35. Finding an easy but yummy recipe
36. Watching movies in bed with Jojo (after Jamie has gone to bed)
37. Getting my back scratched
38. Finding stylish yet comfy shoes – on sale!
39. Weighing myself and finding out I lost weight
40. Coloring (colored pencils and adult coloring books)
41. Warm showers
42. Barbecuing with my family
43. Catching a favorite movie on cable
44. Handwritten letters and notes

Love and Other Consolation Prizes by Jamie Ford

Just finished Jamie Ford's book, "Love and Other Consolation Prizes".  I enjoyed the book and found the premise very interesting.  The book explored many topics that caused much controversy during the period the story was told.  Mixed marriages, biracial children, slavery, brothels and prostitution ... to name a few.  But the book also explored universal values like hope, selflessness, hard work, and true love that transcends such negativity in the world. 

Overall, I liked the book and thought Jamie Ford wrote with such a clarity that I could almost picture the characters in various scenes.  The book did have some slow parts (causing me to flip forward a few pages just to speed things up).  I have a tendency to do that, but somehow, force myself to go back and re-read what I skipped over.  I always worry I missed a significant detail or an important arc in the story.  The book (without giving away spoilers) had a nice ending that allowed readers who were invested in the story to find some closure when the story "ended".  I liked how Mr. Ford wrapped things up for the main characters without making anything seem cliche. 

I'd rate this book an 8 out of 10.  It is definitely a very pleasant read and a good novel that captured my attention.  I would recommend it to those who like historical fiction and to those who enjoy stories where the hero/heroine experience hardships in life, but with traits like faithfulness and love, find themselves in much better circumstances in the end.



P.S. My first attempt at a brief book review.  It's surprising how I've never donoe this before considering how much I read and how I often I used to blog.  Maybe there'll be more of this in th future ... who knows?

Turning Forty-four

On the eve before my 44th birthday, I sit and reflect on things I need to focus more on this year.  I have 4 birthday resolutions that I will try my best-est to make sure I stick to this year.  First, I will eat healthier.  In the last few years, I have not paid any attention to what I eat.  Basically just eating what I want, when I want, and in quantities that I want.  Obviously, that eating style coupled with my slowed down metabolism (thanks to my age) and just genes in general have resulted in weight gain.  So, I definitely want to now really pay attention to what I eat - not deprive or starve myself - but be more conscious of what I am fueling myself with.

Second, I want to exercise more.  That's kind of misleading.  "exercise more" implies exercise has been or is being done when in fact, no exercise is happening.  So I guess the statement should be "I want to exercise". Jojo is gifting me with a treadmill and I hope to do at least 30 minutes on it daily.  That doesn't seem like a very intimidating goal.  The diet and exercise isn't just to lose weight (although that would be a very nice bonus).  But moreso to be healthier.  I'm not getting any younger and the statistics on diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, etc. are scary!

Third, I want to expand my mind more.  I read a lot.  But I want to read more.  And am hoping to expand my reading selection to include autobiographies of inspiring people, maybe books that help make me be a better person, parent, sister, friend.  So while I will still indulge in my fiction favorites, I'll definitely make a conscious effort to diversify.

Lastly, I will  make an effort to be less stressed and less weighed down by things I have no control over.  Petty grievances, unnecessary worry, feeling pulled in too many directions, and just feeling depressed over things I can't control - I wan to consciously avoid.  I need to learn to say no, to set boundaries, to give up control.  It's not very clearly defined how I'll accomplish this but just saying it out loud and putting it into words helps.

So, 4 resolutions as I turn 44.  It's been a great life thus far and with these as a guidelines, I know there is so much more and better things in store!