I miss my dad. There are some days when I am doing okay and then I see something that triggers memories of him. It can be a place we visited, a food he liked, a song we listened to, or even something we had talked about during our many conversations. When that happens, I feel sad all over. Take today for example, I had a perfectly good morning and decided to stop by the supermarket to get some fruit. From the car, I saw an outdoor ad for rocky road ice cream. FYI - rocky road was my dad’s favorite. He used to have it most nights after dinner. Mom would buy all kinds of ice cream flavors for us, but rocky road was reserved for dad.
After seeing the ad, I didn’t feel like going inside the store anymore. I just felt so drained and so sad. I ended up just sitting in the car and talking to dad (I know he can hear me). It makes me feel calmer when we have these “conversations”. It’s still hard but I find it helps me when I sometimes pretend that he is still back home in Manila and everything is the same. I don’t know if that’s very healthy behavior but it helps me get through some days. On other days I tell myself that he is in a better place, that he is happy, but that he is still with us in spirit. Then I don't feel so alone and things don't seem so bad. I know in time things will be easier but for now I also know that sometimes we all need a good cry to help us feel better.
6 comments:
Joanne, I feel so sorry for your dad.I didn't know you lost your dad, but now I am also sad after reading your writing.I believe that your dad will always be with you, in your heart.I can imagine how good and humorous person he was.These days some of my friends also lost their parents.And they say it takes time to get back to normal.However, they became stronger than before and much grew up. As I know you, joanne, I believe you can take over this well. BTW,how about eating the Rock road icecream yourself instead of your dad and with your dad.:) your dad will be happy for you! With warm hug,Jin
Hey Jin ... thanks for being so encouraging and for being such a good friend. I really wish you were here so we could enjoy that Rocky Road together =)
BTW, did you get the email I sent you? I wrote to you about Tarcila's plan to meet up next next year? Is Tatsu still planning something?
We both know papa will not like our being sad, but I know he will appreciate very much being always remembered and thought of. Let us always pray for him and hold him even dearer in our hearts.
i totally understand jo...we're celebrating my dad's death anniversary on Sept 30...it's been 6 years...it feels like yesterday...i think it's okay to have one of those days...it's part of moving on and healing...
but ever since my dad passed away...i always feel like he's my guardian angel =) i'm sure your dad is also yours =)
Hi Jo. I feel sad too, would you believe that among our ICA group, we always say, "hindi pa na sink in" to us that your dad is no longer here.
Go ahead and enjoy the rocky road ice cream, your dad will be happy that you share his favorite.
Btw, I met your Auntie Lillian at your house last Wednesday.
Yes! I got your mail and told him about Tacila's plan through the facebook.
Joanne, I made my own blog because of you! =) I don't know how often I can update the story and I am not a good storyteller as you are.
your blog is so organized like you! I want to make like that, but I am not used to make blog template and design things yet.hhh
Post a Comment