Blasé blah

For my readers (the last two or three of you), please do not react with any excitement, worry, glee, or anxiety over my post ... I wasn't even going to write about it but figured if I wanted to be true to the real reason for this blog (which is to "record" my "life" and have it serve as a journal for my thoughts, feelings and opinions), well, then, I should go ahead and write about the things happening to me in real time. Even if they may not be "ahem" confirmed yet. This is a really long caveat ... and if I've confused anyone, no worries, I'm not sure I am 100% clear about what I just wrote myself!

Anyway, here goes, since last Saturday I've been feeling weird. Not that I feel sick or bad ... but just weird. My stomach has been queasy for no reason. I feel like throwing up (it's different from feeling nauseous though). I just feel like throwing up would calm my upset tummy. I've been extra, extra lazy all Saturday and Sunday. Like sleeping all the time. After a full night's sleep (over 9 hours), I wake up for breakfast, watch some tv and nap the rest of the morning. We have lunch, I get a massage then I take an afternoon siesta. The rest of the day goes by in a blur of catnaps and lounging around the house - but by 10 PM I'm yawning again and can barely keep my eyes open. I didn't want to get off my lazy butt all weekend. Jojo had to do EVERYTHING. (Notice how I typed the word "EVERYTHING" in all caps?).

This week has been a bit better. I am still so sleepy but manage to wake up and go to work every day. Also, I've been okay at work. It helps that there is a lot to do and I've been distracted from feeling sleepy by being busy! Not feeling as queasy lately too but there are still moments (like today at lunch where looking at my chicken breast marinated in jerk seasoning made me want to throw up, so I had some clear soup instead). Eating smaller meals helps too. Still there are certain foods that just thinking about makes me sick. For example, anything dairy (just looking at the plastic tub of cream cheese and the leftover spaghetti carbonara in our fridge) makes me want to hurl! And I am craving MEAT. It's not just I feel like eating meat, but I want to devour a huge charbroiled plate of it! And not just chicken or turkey but a real, honest-to-goodness, grilled steak sounds awesome right about now! (Still have not indulged in this since we are eating our way through our freezer and we are out of red meat!).

Now is a good time to remind everyone, to please not react with any excitement, worry, glee, or anxiety over my post. It is TOO EARLY to contemplate the "P" word. Maybe it's not even the "P" word. I could just be going through a queasy-lazy-sleepy-lactose-intolerant-carnivorous phase. It is entirely possible!

Even if I've been "delayed" almost 2 months now (which technically does not mean anything since I can sometimes go 3 months without getting my period). This could be a fluke! =) I don't want to preempt anything or jinx anything. So anyway, long story short, I'm just stating the facts but am not expecting a reaction. I have been down this road so many times before that I don't want to raise my hopes and have them dashed again, I just wanted to share what's going on with me now and see where this takes me. It's all good either way.

I'm really honestly at the point where I am going to be super HAPPY to have a baby. But am equally OKAY if it's not yet the time for this blessing to come my way. I figured with everything going on, the additional pressure of "trying too hard" is something we can live without! =) To be honest, Jojo and I are, at this point, just taking it one day at a time and being blasé blah about it all. You know what I mean? =) Anyway, more updates to follow ...