Second Letter

My dear Jellybean,

Today is the end of my first trimester of pregnancy which makes it the official start of your fourth month. Happy 4th month to you! It’s strange how it seems like time just flew by and at the same time it seems to be dragging on so slowly. Sometimes I can’t believe that a third of my pregnancy is over and that in 6 months I’ll be meeting you in-person! And sometimes I feel it’s taking so long for you to get here and I am so anxious to have you with us already!

The first trimester was an adventure. What a ride! Let me tell you that your dad was incredible through it all. I honestly do not know how I could have gone through it without him. He was exceptionally supportive, understanding and caring. He really went above and beyond the call of duty. I am still amazed at his patience and thoughtfulness in dealing with a first-time, worry-wart, hormonally-crazed mother-to-be who was going through weird cravings, morning sickness and a perpetually cranky mood. God bless him! When you arrive, we must find a way to properly thank him =)

A few days ago I wrote a blog entry regarding how perfect the timing of your arrival is. It’s true. You are such a long-awaited and eagerly-anticipated baby but at the same time your “late” arrival allowed us to prepare for when you do arrive. Sometimes I do wish you had come just a little bit sooner. It would have been perfect if you had the chance to meet your guakong. He would have spoiled you rotten, I’m sure. I can just imagine how great a grandpa he would be (considering what an awesome father he was!). Thinking about how you two won’t meet made me sad, but Jojo reassured me that for sure you and my dad have already met and bonded in heaven. And that it is certain that you are coming with my dad’s blessing and a part of him is already with you. That made me immensely happy.

So your arrival really is perfect timing! Of course there are some things we have to put off now that you are coming. For starters, we were planning to go home to Manila in January for my best friend’s wedding. Then in February, we were suppose to join our friends on their honeymoon. Mid next year, we were planning a visit to some other friends in Vancouver. And late next year, we had a trip to New England planned with the family. Looks like those things are on hold for now. =) No regrets though, Bean, I know that there will be plenty of time for trips and travels when you are old enough. And thankfully our family and friends have been extra understanding.

Last week, I had a visit with Dr. Chen. It was a routine check-up and everything was going well. Dr. Chen asked me if I wanted to listen to your heartbeat and I said “Yes”. He hooked us up to a small, portable machine and tried to find your heartbeat. After a few minutes of just silence, he told me it would be better if I had another ultrasound as we could not hear anything. While I waited for the ultrasound machine to be set up in the next room, I cannot begin to describe to you how nervous I was. In my usual state of “panic-mode worrying”, I started imagining the worst as to why we could not hear your heartbeat. But as soon as Dr. Chen applied the gel and placed the ultrasound machine sensor on my belly, you appeared on the screen. It actually appeared that you were waving at us from the screen. I asked Dr. Chen why we could not hear your heartbeat and he calmly replied that sometimes babies like to play hide-and-seek and that sometimes mom’s belly-fat can also block the sound of a baby’s heartbeat from the machine. Haha! So it’s either you are a playful baby or I have some extra belly-fat (uhm, I think it’s probably a bit of both).

The last few days I’ve been window shopping for your nursery. I have so many ideas and so many things I want to get for you. We are waiting to know if you will be a baby boy or a baby girl though. I was thinking that if you are a boy I would decorate your nursery in light green and tan with a baby jungle animal theme (your dad prefers a blue room with stars, planets and spaceships). And if you are a baby girl, I thought pale yellow and baby pink with lots of bunnies and butterflies (your dad is non-committal as long as it is not “too pink”). We’ve also been coming up with a list of possible names for you. Your dad and I pretty much agree on a few favorites and have not really had to veto each other’s choices. Except one time, I had to put my foot down when your dad wanted your nickname to be “Goku” after a Dragonball-Z character (I think you will thank me for this later!).

Anyway, Bean, we are starting the next phase in our adventure. Second trimester, here we come! I just want to reassure you that we love you and can’t wait to finally meet you. See you in 6 months!