Personal Dilemma

I am going through a personal dilemma at this time. It has nothing to do with work (to be honest, that's been going pretty well lately). It has nothing to do with decorating the nursery (although shopping for furniture has been taking a LOT of my time lately - there's is just so much choice that it's kinda overwhelming). It has nothing to do with my pregnancy (well, maybe it kinda does, somewhat). Anyway, let me start at the beginning.

Last 2008 while I was in Manila, I noticed I had a lot of falling hair. (Yes, my dilemma has to do with my hair!). Anyway, I attributed the falling hair to stress (I just recently quit a very stressful job and was going through a tough time with my dad's illness). In 2009, the falling hair continued even if it was a less stressful year. During my Xmas visit to Manila, my Auntie Rose brought me to the clinic of Dr. Alan Ong a well-known hair expert from Australia. Dr. Ong prescribed some extra vitamins, a shampoo and a topical hair solution that I had to massage into my scalp twice a day. I was assured these were natural medicines and so I religiously applied them for the next 5 months. They actually worked - I did feel the thinning had decreased.

In May of this year, I ran out of the meds and asked my mom to send me some from Manila. She sent them through my Auntie June who arrived early July. By that time, I had a "feeling" I was pregnant and so even if I had the meds, I chose not to apply them since my doctor told me it would be better not to because of my condition. So I stopped - cold turkey. The next few months - the falling hair started up again but nothing alarming. However, by the end of Sept. I noticed a significant loss again. I consulted with Dr. Chen, my OB-GYN, who assured me that falling hair, although not typical during pregnancy was normal because hormones are out of whack.

By the end of October, I noticed I was starting to develop a slight bald spot on the crown of my head (nothing too hideous and not noticeable when I styled my hair - but there is no denying it was there - and it seemed to be growing too!). This started to scare me so I made another appointment with Dr. Chen and discussed the problem with him. This time, he thought it may be better to go see a hair/skin specialist (Dr. Wilson). I met with Dr. Wilson last week.

To be honest, Dr. Wilson could not tell why I was losing hair - especially in the crown area of my head. He ruled out alopecia areata and other possible diseases. His only idea was a type of female pattern baldness. This was a bit scary! But he was optimistic that we could still do something about it. HERE LIES MY DILEMMA: Dr. Wilson prescribed a mild-potency topical medicine (a gel-like substance called Luxiq) that needs to be applied to the affected area twice a day. The medicine is very mild (according to Dr. Wilson). He assured me it would be ok to use since I was already well into my 2nd trimester (although he did say if I was in my first trimester, he probably would not prescribe this). I was relly doubtful and asked if he could check with my OB GYN just to make sure. So while I was waiting in his office, Dr. Wilson called Dr. Chen. I was told that Dr. Chen gave his ok too for me to use the medicine. But later when I went home and did my own research on Lixiq, my fears were not allayed. There was not enough medical data or studies done on pregnant women to assure it would be safe for the baby.

I am so torn up about this. On the one hand, this losing my hair issue is really driving me crazy. I honestly feel like it is all I can think about these days (okay, maybe that's an exaggeration ... but you know what I mean). I am really so upset not knowing if this is temporary or if it will progress even further. It is so frustrating. On the other hand, I can not risk using the medicine and harming Jellybean. I am scared that it may hurt her or may cause her to get sick. I honestly don't know what the effects would be. Jojo has been so supportive but I can tell he's at a loss too. He knows I am bothered by this and wants me to be happy but I know he worries about the baby too. So far, I have not used the medicine. I keep thinking about Jellybean and can not bring myself to use it. Am I being paranoid? Weird? Overly dramatic? or just plain stupid? Sigh.