Finding a Job

One of the things I’ve been attempting to do since I got home is find a job. Admittedly it has not been easy. With the economy the way it is, the job market has been extremely sluggish. Obviously as jobs become scarcer, the competition becomes much tougher too. I haven’t felt too badly about this since I have been quite halfhearted in my attempts to find work. I have not really found anything that I think would be extremely worthwhile.

I think I have set such a high bar for my next job and as a result have become so much more selective. Since my last job was so stressful, I have learned what it is I don’t want in my next job. I definitely do not want having to take sleeping pills every night just to get some sleep. I don’t want to get sick so often that I ended up being on a first name basis with my doctor’s receptionist and with the CVS pharmacist. I don’t want to spend hours working overtime and compromising on time I should have for myself, my family and friends. I don’t like second guessing myself and having my self-confidence affected. Back then, I held on because the pay was great, the benefits were generous, and the bonuses made it worthwhile. I kept going because I thought that’s what was expected of me and that’s what it took to be part of the corporate culture.

But at the end of the day, I realized it was not what I wanted and certainly not what made me happy. I decided to leave and have not regretted that decision even if it meant we had to tighten our belts since we were down from two incomes to one. Also after taking care of my dad, I have also come to value my life even more. I realize that life is so short that we should never have to settle and do things that make us unhappy. I know it’s easier said than done and many times practicality wins over idealism. Many of us have to work at crappy jobs in order to put food on the table. I understand that completely and I sympathize with people who have to do that. But I know too that in all situations, there is a choice. People may have to suffer through a crappy job now because they need the money. But there will always be an opportunity to do something else, something better later on. We may have to help ourselves find that opportunity or give up things in order to gain what it is we really want.

In my case, I am willing to give up some of the pay and some of the prestige, in order to find a job that makes me feel challenged, motivated and happy. I am willing to work hard and exert the effort but I want a job that makes me excited to get up and head off to work. I know it can’t always be perfect and there will be some bad days, just as there are bad days in any situation. I am realistic about that. But at the same time I am idealistic in wanting a job where I am valued and where I find value in what I do. I want to do something I am good at and where I find satisfaction in doing what I do. I want a job where earning money does not have to be at the expense of being happy and where I don’t have to compromise what I believe in. It’s not impossible! My dad had that kind of “job” for over 40 years.

I guess what I am trying to say is I don’t want to settle anymore. Life is so fleeting that it is wasted when we spend so much time doing something we don’t want to do and then complaining about it afterwards. But at the same time, life also means having to grow up and facing the fact that we need to accept responsibility and sometimes be practical in order to survive. I guess my bottomline is we owe it to ourselves to find a balance between meeting responsibilities but doing it in a way that makes us feel happy and complete. Now if I can only find a job that does that.