Considering Plan "B"

Yesterday I met with my OB-GYN/fertility specialist, Dr. Marsaidi. He is a very pleasant doctor and generally puts me at ease. After several tests, Dr. Marsaidi has diagnosed me as having Polycistic Ovarian Syndrome - which explains my very irregular periods. PCOS is the leading cause of female infertility. That means it is very, very difficult to get pregnant. That coupled with my age makes having a baby even harder (not impossible, but the chances are much, much slimmer than it would be for someone else). There are several procedures I will be going through in the next few days to determine our next steps and to find out what options we can take.

Last night, Jojo and I had a long conversation about this. It is no secret that we are both anxious to start a family and that we have been trying for more than 3 years now. We always attributed it as wrong timing whenever a pregnancy test came out negative. Reasons like we were both so busy, both so stressed, both so tied up with other things ... but never an actual "syndrome". So apparently it is not just wrong timing, but there is an actual scientific reason as to why it has not happened yet. For some strange reason, finding this out helps make things less frustrating.

Anyway, we still remain hopeful and will do whatever we can (within reason) to make this happen. I've told Dr. Marsaidi that I am willing to go through the tests and procedures - all of which are uncomfortable, time-consuming and expensive. But I draw the line at anything that is not "natural". Meaning, I don't want to go through invitro-fertilization or a surrogate pregnancy in order to have a child. My faith and my morals prevent me from taking steps which I view as going too far. I don't want to artificially create a child, because I know that if we are destined to have a baby, God will grant this to us in His own way.

Also, I believe that there are so many children in the world that need loving families and I would rather open my heart and home to them instead of creating another baby just to satisfy my maternal craving. I have always been open about adopting (even before Angelina Jolie and Madonna made it hip to do so). I have always thought that in the event I never married, or that when I was married and unable to have kids, this would be an option I would pursue. Jojo, on the other hand, has hesitated. His concerns are all valid and I respect them. Last night we had an open and honest discussion about them.

We know that adoption is not something we can do without much thought, careful consideration, lots of prayer and the sincere support of our families and friends. We have agreed that we are open to it and will keep it as a possible "Plan B". We did agree though that, off the top of our heads, there are some considerations. First, we will only adopt if and when we are told we can no longer conceive. That it is biologically impossible to have a child. Second, we will not adopt just one child but two or more belonging to the same family. That way it will be the merging of our family with theirs. Third, we would be open about the fact that we adopted and would never hide that fact from other people, especially the children we adopted. I think an open and honest relationship makes it easier from the very start. And lastly, we would only adopt if and when we can be sure we are able to provide a loving and stable home.

For more on Polycistic Ovarian Syndrome - click HERE.