Perfect Timing

Last night, I was having some difficulty falling asleep (probably because I took an almost 3-hour nap that afternoon and so I wasn’t that sleepy yet when bedtime came around). As I lay in bed, I thought about the timing of Jellybean’s arrival. Even though, Jojo and I have wanted to start a family for the last three and a half years, it seems that Jellybean’s arrival, although long anticipated, came at the exact right time.

Jojo and I got married on Dec 2004. The first two years of our marriage, we purposely did not try to conceive. Mainly it was because I wanted to make sure everything was settled before we started a family. I wanted to make sure our immigration papers were in order, that financially we would be prepared, and that we would have some time to spend together as a couple before welcoming a new addition to the family. Jojo was very supportive. I think in many ways he wanted to make sure we were both mentally, emotionally and financially stable too.

In 2006, we talked about starting a family but that same year, I also started a new job at a financial institution. It was a very good career move on my end as I was entering the corporate world, getting paid very well, and facing a lot of challenges that made me a stronger person both on a professional and personal level. The next two years we tried to get pregnant but I knew in my heart it probably would not happen given that we were both professionally stressed with work and busy climbing the corporate ladder.

In 2008, I decided to leave that high-paying but equally high-stress job and concentrate on family. Jojo again was extremely supportive. But that same year, my dad was diagnosed with cancer and it was without question that I would drop everything to be there for my dad. I spent a month here in the States, along with my mom and sister, taking care of my dad (driving him to doctor’s appointments, taking him to the hospital, going to the lab for tests, etc). After it was decided that he would receive treatment back in Manila, it was without hesitation and with my husband’s full support, that I flew home to be with my dad and family. I spent the next 7 months in Manila (most of it in the hospital watching over my dad and at home spending time with my mom and siblings). It was a very difficult time for all of us but I would not have traded being there for anything in the world. I was so glad to have the chance to be with my dad and to be there for him during the time he needed us.

In mid-2009, I flew back to the States and spent the next 5 months just taking it easy. Partly it was a time for me to mourn my dad and also for me to move on with my life. I tried looking for work but the timing was never right. It was great though to be able to recharge and relax. I did some part time work and volunteered with local non-profit groups. I also got the chance to work out and take care of myself. The end of 2009, we again flew home to Manila for a month to spend the holidays with family.

In early 2010, I finally found a job where I am happy, challenged (but not stressed) and where I find meaning and purpose in what I do. I’ve slowly settled into my new position and am content. Jojo, likewise, has found a challenging but rewarding career with a new company. It seemed everything is in order for us – financially, emotionally, mentally, physically and personally. Then without much ado, in mid 2010, we conceived Jellybean. This was done naturally, I am proud to say, without the aid of any artificial means.

Doesn’t that timeline make complete sense? Doesn’t the timing seem like things just fell into place? By coming at this time, Jellybean allowed Jojo and I the time to grow together as a couple; to prepare ourselves before starting a family, to have the opportunity to experience a corporate career, to go home and be there for my dad, and later for my mom too. Jellybean’s timing allowed me time to re-energize and find myself. It also allowed Jojo to mellow and be ready to be a dad. It may sometimes seem like Jellybean took his/her time in making his/her appearance (given that Jojo and I are now older and have been married almost 6 years) but at the end of the day, I think Jellybean is coming at the perfect time!