meltdown

I had a bit of a minor meltdown the other night. Jojo kindly turned a blind eye to what can only be referred to as my pregnancy hormones going on a rampage. But it doesn’t excuse the fact that I really went through a “feeling sorry for myself” state. I guess it was because of … well, everything that has been going on lately. For starters, work has been busy (not stressful, not hard, and not overwhelming). Just BUSY. Then there are so many classes we are taking and so many doctor’s visits and lab appointments. Can you imagine I had two separate doctor visits, went to the hospital twice for fetal monitoring and two baby classes just in the last 5 days! Added to that, I am under pressure by my OB-GYN to walk at least 2 hours a day. TWO FREAKING HOURS! I don’t even have two hours to sit much less walk around! Then there are a gazillion little things we need to do around the house. Jojo has been truly amazing with picking up more than his fair share of housework. But there is always so much to do. Not to mention, my sister and mom are coming on Monday and we have been preparing for their arrival too. Fixing rooms, packing stuff, moving furniture, buying things they’ll need. The list is endless. Of course there’s preparing Jamie’s baby stuff too. Not to mention the fact that I am now as big as a hippo. I now waddle instead of walk. I now have to go pee every hour on the hour. I now get tired so easily. And I have all sorts of little aches and pains. All normal according to my OB, but definitely slows me down!

Anyway, yesterday, started as a typical day. I had an early day starting with a doctor’s appointment at 8:00. Worked an 8-hour day. Came home pretty exhausted. It was raining so Jojo and I had to skip the walk. Instead I tried to walk around the house and do some light housework (picking up stuff, light dusting, and rearranging a cabinet). I made dinner (turkey, lettuce and tomato sandwiches). Then I did the dishes. After that, Jojo and I decided to tackle a Jamie project – we tried to put her bassinette / play yard / changing table together. We worked on it for an hour and a half (so frustrating!). I swear the instructions were no help – unless its purpose was to start a major argument between my husband and I! It was close to 10 PM when I finally gave up and decided to prepare the ingredients for beef nilaga for lunch the next day. While chopping cabbage, I dropped the knife on the kitchen floor (under our butcher block). I couldn’t reach it because of my humongous belly and so I sat down on a stepstool trying to angle my body around. Now at almost eye-level to the floor, I noticed how the floor had not been mopped in almost a week. That’s when I started feeling sorry for myself. Jojo was in the other room still working on Jamie’s bassinette when I started going off on how there was no time to do anything and how busy I was and how huge I was getting and how upset I was over every little thing. Jojo would nod and say “uh-hmm” every few minutes but kept on working on the bassinette – which for some insane reason made me even more mad. So I stalked off to our room and sulked in bed. By the time Jojo came in about 15 minutes later, I was already deep into the “feeling sorry for myself” state. Jojo, God bless him, tried to talk me out of my mood … but let me tell you that reasoning with a pregnant lady, in the state I was in, is a lost battle. It is comparable to trying to reason with an angry grizzly bear, after you just woke from him hibernation, after accidentally setting fire to his cave.

Luckily, Jojo knows me very well. He knows when to just keep quiet and let me vent. He gave me a back massage while I gave in to a good cry. I fell asleep shortly after that. The next day, we woke up and Jojo tentatively asked if I was ok. Of course by then, I don’t even remember half the things I said the night before. And I was pretty much as good as new.