On Being a Parent

I never had any misconceptions that being a parent was easy. I knew the moment that I was pregnant that I would be in for a tough ride. Of course, one can never really prepare for how tough things can get until one is already in the midst of things! Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love being a mom and Jamie is a wonderful baby (she has her moments but for the most part she is pretty no-fuss). I guess it's just an adjustment for me - being a completely hands-on mom and all.

Growing up, I always knew I would be a mom (I've always wanted kids of my own!). But I guess I grew up thinking I would always be surrounded by people who would help me take care of my kids. There would be my own mom, my aunts, sisters, friends - and most especially maids and yayas! I saw my family and friends have kids and while they were all good mothers - they still went about life without too much change.

Who knew I would end up living in the States and having my child here? And while I do have help (my sister, Joy, lives with us and my hubby, Jojo is also very involved) - and of course we have daycare now. But for the most part, I am the main person who looks after my baby girl. It's a weird feeling that is hard for me to describe. On the one hand, I am thrilled to have so much time with my daughter - feeding her, changing her, bathing her, playing with her, reading to her, sleeping with her, etc. On the other hand, I also worry about her and about how well I am raising her.

My sister, Joy, once said she admires me for being so hands-on and for giving up so many things so I can take care of Jamie. For starters, I don't get to go out as much (hard to find capable babysitters!). I have to do housework in between Jamie's naps. I no longer have time for myself (reading, shopping, watching movies are now unheard of!). I have not had a full night's sleep since this little girl was born! I have learned to eat dinner in 5 minutes while standing up in the kitchen (sometimes while carrying Jamie). I have learned how to change diapers in public restrooms, from the backseat of our car, in restaurants, etc. I have learned to pacify Jamie when she gets antsy in the middle of crowded places and church. I have stopped shopping for myself and now just get things for her.

I guess you could say I did sacrifice a lot for my daughter. But I don't have any regrets and I would not mind doing it all over again for my daughter. And while I still wouldn't mind getting a yaya to help me out - I do think that being a hands-on mom is pretty priceless!