Indulgent

Jojo and were taking a walk last night and got to talking about how much our lives will change once Jellybean arrives. Of course, at this point, it's hard to say how much exactly our lives will be different. But it would be an easy assumption to make that things will be quite drastically different. For starters, we will soon be responsible for the well-being and happiness of an entirely different human being. That is definitely going to mean making some changes.

Overall, our life together as a couple has been ideal. We live pretty "selfish" lives. By "selfish", I don't mean that we don't share or that we withhold certain aspects of it. But rather, we live our lives according to our whims and what makes us happy. I guess rather than the word "selfish", what better describes us would be "indulgent". Take last weekend for example. We wake up when we want to wake up and sleep in when we want to sleep in. Once we get up from bed, Jojo goes straight to his computer (playing games and checking Facebook!). I take my sweet time just lounging around in bed and watching tv under the covers. I told Jojo once Jellybean gets here, we probably have to get up when he/she gets up and then we have to feed him/her when we do.

For lunch we either eat in when we are in the mood to cook or eat out when we are too lazy to make anything. Our food choices are mostly what we feel like eating that day - it could be dimsum or Mexican food or salads at Souplantation, or even good old leftovers and ever reliable canned goods. Of course, when Jellybean arrives, we would now have to consider what he/she would eat when we go out to dine. My sister-in-law was telling me they haven't been to any good, sit down restaurants in a while (and absolutely no "ethnic foods" at all) since all her kids like to eat are chicken fingers and mac n cheese. Then there is of course not being able to sit down to eat together as we would probably have to take turns feeding and playing with Jellybean (and hoping he/she does not break out in a tantrum while we are eating with other people!).

In the afternoons, Jojo and I sometimes go to the gym or go shopping. We usually browse bookstores or catch a movie. Sometimes we hang out with friends. All that would have to change for a while since having a baby means doing things the baby can do and wants to do (it's no longer about what the parents want to do!). Even going to mass in the evenings will have to change. We will no longer be able to sit in the front pews where we now sit and will have to sit at the back pews (separated by the clear glass) with the rest of the parents with fussy babies! =)

Jojo and I were laughing about all the little changes we would have to make to our routines. Like waking up extra early in the mornings (or in the middle of the night) to take care of Jellybean's needs first. Like giving up going on vacations to the places we planned to go and designating Disneyland and Sea World as our vacation destinations for the next few years. Like skipping our favorite tv shows in the evenings because maybe they aren't rated PG and accepting the fact that the Disney Channel and Nickelodeon will be the channels of choice in our home rather than HBO and HGTV. Like how most of our savings will now go to buying toys and books and children's clothes. Lots more, of which I have no doubt! Sigh. I still think it will all be worth it though!

To My Dear Baby Bean,

This is my first official "letter" to you. So, hmmm, where do I start? Let me tell you a little about my pregnancy so far. The last couple of days have been a little better. My stomach has settled somewhat and even if I still have occasional bouts of "morning" sickness, they are not as strong nor as often. There have been a few embarrassing instances where I might have gagged out loud in public. But nothing I can't live down. I am still a giant sleepyhead and am now sleeping almost 9 hours a night. Inspite of that I still have a hard time waking up every morning. I guess I am storing up sleep in preparation for when you arrive and will need me to get up with you in the middle of the night. I find that I also get tired more easily these days and feel lethargic in the early afternoons. My appetite is a little better. I still mostly eat steamed, boiled, broiled or freshly prepared dishes and am staying away from anything fried or oily (as that does not help my gag reflexes!). But the biggest change is my need to pee almost constantly. It's sometimes bordering on hilarious how often I have to go to the bathroom!

But all is well. I can't complain. The good news is it's been a real joy to wake up every morning and realize that you are in me. I often fall asleep and wake up with my hands over my belly. You are too small to feel right now ... but just knowing you are there is reassuring to me. It may just be my imagination but I can swear I feel you moving and settling in my tummy. Jojo and I talk to you constantly. Sometimes serious things but more often than not silly things too. I am not sure if you can hear everything we say to you - but I know that you can feel how much we love you.

Pretty much everyone knows about you now. We've shared your arrival with with our closest family and friends. Every day my co-workers ask about you. We've also had a couple of people volunteer to throw you a baby shower already. I can understand how excited Jojo and I are but it's amusing to me to see other people so excited to meet you too. Thanks to the power of the internet (blogging, Facebook, and emails) - everyone is so eagerly anticipating your arrival. I just know that day will be one of the best days of my life. I can't wait to meet you!

Love you, my little Baby Bean.

Meeting Jellybean =)

I met our little Jellybean today =) I just came from my doctor's office and am still in awe. I came face-to-face (well, it was my face and the ultrasound monitor) with our baby. It's too soon to tell whether Jellybean is a girl or a boy (it doesn't matter really) - the good news is the heartbeat is strong and everything seems to be in order. It all seems so surreal to me right now. I have to say the moment I laid my eyes on that teeny-tiny Bean ... everything just seemed to fall into place and everything in the world was right again. What a wonderful, humbling moment that I will cherish forever.

I am officially 7 weeks and 1 day pregnant. And our baby is due on March 28th. OMG! I can't wait! 7 months seem like forever ... but it also seems like too short a time to prepare for everything that needs to get done. I don't know where to start but I am so excited to get going! Jojo and I have been waiting for this and I know it will be awesome.

On a side note, my OB-GYN, Dr. Chen is the bestest doctor in the whole wide world. He is totally a calm, reassuring and positive doctor. Such a perfect godsend for a first time, worrywart, mother-to-be. He reminds me of a kindly old uncle but is pretty amazing when it comes to giving me information and tips. He is very patient too (he really took time to answer my gazillion and one questions - even my most silly questions got serious answers). Thank God for Dr. Chen. I know Jellybean and I will be in good hands.

I also got a mini tour of the hospital (where I will be due). It all seems like such a dream right now. But luckily, it's a good dream and I am praying everything continues to go well. So far, so good ... even my "morning sickness" was cooperating all through my doctor and hospital visit today.

Again, I am so blessed and thankful. This is such a miracle. And I am so honored to be part of it all =)

Jellybean

It's been just two days since we've found out we're about to become parents and to be very truthful, Jojo and I are acting like we've been ready for this since forever! In my case, I've been going through a rough few days. For starters, the term "morning sickness" is very misleading. It is by no means limited to just "mornings". I think the term should more aptly be "all-day sickness" because honestly that's what it feels like to me. I feel like I am perpetually in a state of nausea. Most times it is controllable (meaning I can function although carefully and go about life) but there are moments where I need to just lie down till the feeling subsides. My appetite has been so strange too. I no longer cringe at the thought of dairy but am now literally disgusted by anything greasy. The other day just watching a tv commercial featuring Burger King french fries made me want to upchuck! And walking by the food court earlier made me imagine all sorts of greasy food, it was just too much for my sensitive nostrils to bear. I don't know why but even my favorite Puff Cheetos disgusts me (why do they have to be so bright orange!?).

I guess that's the good thing. So far I've been eating really healthy food. I am also over the craving for meat. During the last few meals, I am very happy with steamed tofu, fresh salads and bowls of clear soup. I've been really ravenous for fruits and Jojo has been indulging me. He's cut up fresh papayas, watermelons, nectarines and peaches. And has been washing fresh blueberries, strawberries and cherries whenever I have a hankering. Jojo has been extra indulgent too - doing the dishes, taking care of the laundry, picking up items at the supermarket, and making sure I am comfortable at all times. Aaah! I could really get used to this =)

Today I've been browsing some websites on pregnancy. Because we don't know yet how far along I am or when I am due, we are speculating that I am between 1-3 months. I've been looking at pictures of how big the baby should be at that stage. Really - just about the size of a jellybean (I guess). So I've started referring to the baby as "Jellybean". And Jojo has started doing that too. Like this afternoon, I woke up from a nap and Jojo comes into the room to ask if "Jellybean and I would like to go to the 5 PM or the 6 PM mass". Haha! - isn't that absolutely precious? Jellybean, it is then!

I guess we are not the only ones excited. So far we've only shared the news with immediate family (will definitely share it with all our loved ones once I see my doctor this week). But already the outpouring of love and acceptance for little Jellybean has been incredible. My family and Jojo's family have been so wonderful in their show of support. All I can say is Jellybean is one lucky baby to have such a great family waiting for him/her. And of course, we are equally lucky to have Jellybean come join us too =)

Positive

We took a pregnancy test today ... it came out positive. The pregnancy kit claims it is 99% accurate ... so until I see my OB-GYN, I guess I am 99% pregnant. =) I don't know how to explain what I am feeling right now. I was in shock when the second line appeared on the stick. Jojo was at my side and his happiness was instantaneous. Mine took a few minutes before it sunk in! I called my mom right away but it was 5 AM Manila time so I didn't let the phone ring too long and when no one picked up, I called my sisters-in-law. Marik and Tracy. Jojo called his mom and his brother, Lee. I texted Atsi. When I spoke to people, that's when it started to feel real ... I cried when Marik cried. Good, happy tears. It's still surreal and I am still a bit dazed (which is why this post sounds so stilted). Anyway, more on all this when I catch my breath ...

But for now, all I can say is "thank you God and thank you dad!".