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Wednesday, July 22, 2009

One of those days ...

Today is not a good day for me. It’s a long story that I don’t have the energy or interest to get into at this time. Suffice it to say, I am tired of making myself be understood and tired of trying to understand.

Throughout my dad’s illness, I learned that people surprise you. On the one hand there are people who during your time of need, stand by you and offer you comfort and support. I was touched by the outpouring of well wishes and encouragement from some of our family and friends. Their genuine concern really and truly humbled me. There were even times when complete strangers or people we barely knew went out of their way to help us. That was a true testament to the kindness of people and restored my faith in the goodness of mankind.

But on the flipside there are also instances where the people you thought would be there for you, were not. You learn the hard way that the people you thought you could count on turn out to be false hopes. Trust me when I say finding this out is not a good feeling and it really hurts to know that these things can happen over and over again.

I guess what keeps me going is knowing that the people that matter are out there and that I am not alone even if it sometimes feels that way. I know all this adversity will result in making me stronger. It has to otherwise what would be the point of all this, right? I think life is meant to be lived that way. We have to go through the bad so we can appreciate the good. That there are days like today when everything seems to suck so we become wiser and learn to value the days when things are better.

P.S. Sorry that this email sounds so disparaging and reproachful. I’m in one of those funks, which I plan to snap out of after I wallow in it long enough.

I’ll be back to more cheery posts in the next 24 hours, I promise.

7 comments:

mom said...

Do not feel sad. Just go about your life as usual. You are not here to please everyone. As long as you know you are not doing anything bad or hurting anyone willfully then do not let it bother you. Have faith in yourself. Rest assured I and your family will always be here for you.

leslie ty said...

hey Jo...you're only human...it's okay to have "one of those days" ... if you need to vent out some more...feel free to e-mail me =)

These are the times I wish I can be there to listen to you and be there for you =(

leslie ty said...

hey Jo...you're only human...it's okay to have "one of those days" ... if you need to vent out some more...feel free to e-mail me =)

These are the times I wish I can be there to listen to you and be there for you =(

Joanne said...

Hey mom. Thank you for calling me right away. I guess it's just one of those days. I know we can never please everybody ... but somehow every time we feel we've disappointed someone we are still so hard on ourselves. Oh well. This is a learning experience. Thanks for always being there for me.

Les, thank you too for being there for me. Yup, these are the times when I wish you were here too. This would be the perfect time for us to go out and get rid of this mood with some good food! Haha. But even if you are not here, it really helps to know you're on my side =)

BTW, I'll send you an email tonight ... I have a question for you.

joyeee said...

hi dets,

be strong... those people are not worth your time. I understand and get what you are going through..I know it sounds unfair and really mean but then again, like you said, it will make you a much stronger person. I'm on your side no matter what happens!

Auntie Lillian said...

Joanne, we all have "funk" days - somehow we get through it. Listen to your mom - she knows best. If its people that bothers you - remember we can't change them. The best things is to let it slide -otherwise, we are the one who "get sick" - literally and they don't even care.

Joanne said...

Thanks Joy. I really appreciate your support. Your daily phone calls have also cheered me up immensely. I am really glad to have you on my side.

Auntie Lillian, what you say is true - that we can only change ourselves and no one else. And yes, I am trying to learn to take things in stride. =)